Gaunt

September 9, 2009

At first
it was a bit lonely.
But I'm beginning to love the solitude more and more
each passing day.

Never have to hear,
"What would you like for dinner tonight?"
"Have you eaten yet today?"
"You were in the bathroom for a long time; are you okay?"
Or worst of all,
"How are you doing today?"
because I know
what she really means.

Can freely go days and days without a single bite.
Puke with the bathroom door open.
I've signed my own declaration of independence
which between the lines reads:
declaration of servitude.



September 12, 2009

Lately I've
been spending my days
scrubbing every corner of every floor,
picking up the tiniest specks of tracked-in dirt,
leftover lint, dust;
particles of
pieces of
nothing.

and I've become quite the chef.
Cook extravagant, decadent meals,
loaded with thousands
or maybe even millions
of calories.
Stare, take pride, lick my lips--
and then throw it all away.



September 28, 2009

I've tried to quit thinking so much.
Quit
analyzing.
No logic, no common sense.

I don't want to win
this civil war
between me and myself.
I'll go down swinging
just to say I did.
But I won't win.

wave the white flag.