You Make It Hard For Breathing

I glanced on my watch and wrote down the time. I had been doing it for the past two months. Every time the clock strikes twelve, I wrote down the time. Every time I picked up my bass, my mind got flooded by her. I can’t get Chelsea out of my head.

“Dooey, what are you doing?”, Martin asked when he saw me with my black notebook. “Are you writing a song or writing down the time like you always do?”

“The second one.”, I mumbled. The guys thought I should be moving on since Chels left me for another guy, who was in another band.

Martin sighed and sat beside me. “Dude, I don’t blame you for being broken hearted, but you gotta move on, sooner or later.”

“Is this the way you felt when Hanna dump you?”, maybe I shouldn’t ask that, because when Hanna dump him, he was an emotional wreck, but he knew that I need this.

“Yes, yes it does.”, he answered quietly. “it was like someone ripped my heart out.”

“Exactly.”

“But, with time, I moved on and so does she. You have to move on.”

I leaned back to the couch and looked up to the ceiling. The thought of moving on from Chelsea was like the thought of me cheating on her. Reality check, she did cheat on me.

“You gotta help me.”

Martin grinned and clapped my shoulder. “Our next stop is our ole’ Boston, and I could hook you up with Lena.”

“Lena? That girl from high school?”

He nodded. “Yeah, she just got back from Italy and let me tell you, dude, she’s freaking hot.”

“Okay then. You think this whole move on thing would work out?”

“Of course!”

I nodded and Martin walked out to the front lounge of the bus. The thought of the date with Lena couldn’t get into my mind, even though how hard I try. Chelsea was still there and she won’t leave.
***********
“Lena, you remember Bryan, right?”, Martin asked her when we were in the dressing room.

She nodded. “Yeah, of course. Nice to meet you, Bryan.”

“Nice to meet you too. It’s been—“

“6 years.”, she interrupted. “6 years after graduation.”

“Yeah.”, I smiled weakly. She sat beside me and flashed me the brightest smile.

“So, Bryan, how are you?”

“Great, just tired from this tour.”

“You wanna get a coffee later after the show?”, she asked with bright eyes. I never met a girl like her. Back in high school, she was the shy Italian girl. Time changes somethings I guess.

“Sure. That would be great.”
*************
We walked down the street with a cup of coffee in our hands. We talked about everything, mostly about flashbacks of our high school years.

“You did got stuffed into a locker.”, Lena laughed.

“Okay, that was, what?, freshman year?”

She sipped her coffee and nodded. “Okay. We were young.”

When we wanted to turn left in the corner, the familiar red head was walking towards my way. Her turquoise eyes were still bright like it was, her red head shines under the moon light, her skin were luminous when the light of the street lamp caught it. She was Chelsea Totter.

“Bryan?”, she stopped at her track and her eyes widened. “Bryan Donahue, is that you?”

I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat. “Hey, Chelsea.”

“Oh my god! How are you?”, She giggled and threw her arms around me. she hasn’t change her perfume, vanilla. The scent I loved so much. “How’s the tour?”, she asked when she pulled away.

“I’m good. The tour already ended, tonight was the last show.”

“Oh yeah, hometown show.”, she nodded and eyed Lena beside me. “Who’s this?”

“This is Lena. She’s visiting.”

“Nice to meet you.”, Chelsea shook Lena’s hand. “I’m glad Bryan finally found someone.”

“We’re not together.”, Lena laughed. “Yet.”, she added.

When she said that, it feels like somebody shot cold water through my spine. I wasn’t into her like that, I don’t have any feelings for her.

“Well, anyways, Bryan, we should meet up sometime. Catching up the lost time, right?”, Chelsea smiled.

I nodded. “Yeah, it’ll be great.”
****************
“So, you ran into Chelsea when you were with Lena the other night?”, Paul asked after I told them every thing.

“Yeah, Paul, and she asked me if ‘we could meet up sometime’.”

“That could mean she still into you.”, John exclaimed.

I grunted. “John, she’s got a boyfriend.”

“Nothing written on stone.”, Martin rolled his eyes. “Our point is, you should call her and meet up, see what she wants.”

“Okay.”, I pulled out my phone and press number 2, her speed dial. The dialed tone was driving me nuts. After three tones, she picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Chelsea, it’s me, Bryan.”

“Bryan! What’s up?”

I glanced at the others and they gave me encouraging smiles. “Well, I was thinking about that time we could catch up, do you wanna go for coffee?”

“That would be awesome.”, she chirped. “I’ll meet you at three, okay?”

“Okay. See you.”, I hung up.

“See? That wasn’t so bad.”, John grinned.
************
“Hey, sorry I’m late.”, She sighed as she sat down on the sofa across me.

“No, it’s okay. I got your favorite.”

She raised a brow and picked up the mug. “Hm, Vanilla latte. You remembered.”

“Of course.”, I smiled a little.

“Bryan, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry about what I’ve done to you. I know it hurts you the most, but I realized, not being with you, was just hard.”

My heart accelerated when she said that. So, she felt the same thing?

“But you got a boyfriend.”

She nodded. “I know. I’m trying to move on. I wanted to meet up with you alone, so we still could be friends.”

Friends. Those words stabbed my heart like daggers. “I like you more than a friend. I love you.”

“I know.”, she sighed. “But, I just cant leave Justin like that.”

“You left me like that.”, I gritted my teeth.

“Bryan, please, forgive me. I love you, but Justin gave me another different love. you were great, but I felt like something was missing when I’m with you.”

I stood up. “You know, for two months, all I think about was you. You fucking broke my heart.”

I walked out from the coffee shop and walked down the street to Martin’s condo. I lit up a cigar on my way, taking a drag and inhaled the smoke. Chelsea just got the karma she deserves.