Sugar, We're Going... On A Cruise!?
A Strange Man Arrives, Has Diabetes, And Is Pushed
The other band members didn’t want Patrick to ride with them on the way to the airport – except Andy – but Patrick didn’t mind because this way he could cry all the way to the airport. He had to endure the whole plane ride with Andy asleep on his shoulder, drooling on his new jacket. He didn’t want to wake Andy up and make him mad. Pete played his Gameboy and wrote some songs and complained about the airline food and threw pieces of balled up paper at Patrick and then pretended like he didn’t do it. Joe watched movies, but not really, because whenever Patrick looked over at him, he was just staring blankly into space.
It seemed like years until the plane arrived at its destination. The airport wasn’t to far from where they were loading the boat, so they got a rental car. They parked at the dock and Pete gave his luggage to Patrick to carry. There was a line to get on the cruise ship, and Pete really wanted to be first in line but there were already a bunch of people there, so they had to go wait in the back. Pete sulked and said he was going to kill himself, but this upset Joe, so he took it back.
While they were standing in line, a strange man came up to them and said, “Hey, can I get in line in front of you?”
Pete looked him over. “Why? Do you have some kind of disability or something?”
“Well…” the strange man thought for a moment. “I have diabetes?”
Pete’s eyes grew wide and he gasped. Then his lip trembled and he fell to the ground, beginning to sob. “Why?” he yelled, “WHY!! You poor man! Go ahead of us! Actually, Patrick! carry him the rest of the way!”
“But, but, but!” Patrick said. He might be slightly overweight, but he was no Superman!
“Dude,” said the strange man with diabetes, “I was just messing with you. It doesn’t actually disable me in any way.”
Pete’s face grew red with rage, and he slowly got to his feet. The strange man backed away a little and looked around nervously.
“You LIAR! THE WORLD IS SO FULL OF LIES!! IT’S SO COLD!!!!!!!!! TATOOS ARE PERMANENT AND JACK SKELLINGTON ISN’T REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” yelled Pete, feeling betrayed.
The strange man edged over to Patrick and asked with fear, “Does he always act crazy-psycho like this?”
Patrick froze and began to panic. He couldn’t say yes, because if Pete heard him, Patrick surely would be punished. But he couldn’t say no, because his mommy had taught him to always tell the truth or you burn in hell!!
So Patrick said, “No, of course not, what’s so crazy-psycho about the way he’s acting anyway? You’re a strange man…”
But as he said it, Patrick was nodding and mouthing ‘Yes’.
But the strange man was diabetic, not hearing impaired, so he couldn’t even read lips! and he said, “What?”
Then, since they were standing next to the water in between the dock and the cruise ship, Pete pushed the strange man into the water.
“Help!” yelled the strange man. “I’ve fallen in the water and I cannot swim!”
“Neither can I so get over it!” yelled Pete. Then he realized what he had said, and that Andy, Patrick and Joe were staring at him funny.
“I – I mean… Neither can Patrick, so get over!” Pete saved himself.
Then the line moved ahead and the four guys went to board the giant cruise ship, Joe explaining along the way to Pete what diabetes was (“A diabetic is someone who dies if they come within ten feet of sugar”) but Pete wasn’t listening because he was looking at himself in the shiny windows of the cruise ship as they passed by.
It seemed like years until the plane arrived at its destination. The airport wasn’t to far from where they were loading the boat, so they got a rental car. They parked at the dock and Pete gave his luggage to Patrick to carry. There was a line to get on the cruise ship, and Pete really wanted to be first in line but there were already a bunch of people there, so they had to go wait in the back. Pete sulked and said he was going to kill himself, but this upset Joe, so he took it back.
While they were standing in line, a strange man came up to them and said, “Hey, can I get in line in front of you?”
Pete looked him over. “Why? Do you have some kind of disability or something?”
“Well…” the strange man thought for a moment. “I have diabetes?”
Pete’s eyes grew wide and he gasped. Then his lip trembled and he fell to the ground, beginning to sob. “Why?” he yelled, “WHY!! You poor man! Go ahead of us! Actually, Patrick! carry him the rest of the way!”
“But, but, but!” Patrick said. He might be slightly overweight, but he was no Superman!
“Dude,” said the strange man with diabetes, “I was just messing with you. It doesn’t actually disable me in any way.”
Pete’s face grew red with rage, and he slowly got to his feet. The strange man backed away a little and looked around nervously.
“You LIAR! THE WORLD IS SO FULL OF LIES!! IT’S SO COLD!!!!!!!!! TATOOS ARE PERMANENT AND JACK SKELLINGTON ISN’T REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” yelled Pete, feeling betrayed.
The strange man edged over to Patrick and asked with fear, “Does he always act crazy-psycho like this?”
Patrick froze and began to panic. He couldn’t say yes, because if Pete heard him, Patrick surely would be punished. But he couldn’t say no, because his mommy had taught him to always tell the truth or you burn in hell!!
So Patrick said, “No, of course not, what’s so crazy-psycho about the way he’s acting anyway? You’re a strange man…”
But as he said it, Patrick was nodding and mouthing ‘Yes’.
But the strange man was diabetic, not hearing impaired, so he couldn’t even read lips! and he said, “What?”
Then, since they were standing next to the water in between the dock and the cruise ship, Pete pushed the strange man into the water.
“Help!” yelled the strange man. “I’ve fallen in the water and I cannot swim!”
“Neither can I so get over it!” yelled Pete. Then he realized what he had said, and that Andy, Patrick and Joe were staring at him funny.
“I – I mean… Neither can Patrick, so get over!” Pete saved himself.
Then the line moved ahead and the four guys went to board the giant cruise ship, Joe explaining along the way to Pete what diabetes was (“A diabetic is someone who dies if they come within ten feet of sugar”) but Pete wasn’t listening because he was looking at himself in the shiny windows of the cruise ship as they passed by.