Sugar, We're Going... On A Cruise!?
A Journey On The Interweb
“THE BOAT IS SINKING?!” screamed Bob, losing his head (not literally). “HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!”
“I dunno…” said Pete. “I’ll go look it up on the Interweb!” He dashed out of the room.
“Wait!” yelled Andy, and ran after him, with some difficulty in his high heels. Apparently Pete had had the same problem, because there he was, lying face down a few feet away. But he didn’t complain or whine, just got up and ran back to the room, more carefully.
Andy and the rest of FOB and P!ATD followed, leaving MCR behind to stand in confusion and fear.
When they got back to their room, the halls were alive with people running around like headless chickens.
“The Interweb is loading,” Pete announced as his buddies walked into the room.
“Can you really do that?” Andy asked in awe. “Get on the Internet in the middle of the ocean? On a sinking ship?”
“I can,” answered Pete confidently.
Everyone sat down patiently to wait while Pete looked up how to survive a cruise ship sinking on the Web.
After a while, Andy started to get antsy and asked, “What’s taking so long? Isn’t there at least one Website about how to survive a sinking ship?”
“Um – I – well –” Pete stuttered, taken off guard as Andy came over to look at what he was doing.
“Mibba? A creative writing site? What? Pete, what is this?”
“Porn?” asked Joe, hopefully, and came over to look, too. When he saw what it was, he went pale.
“I was just profile surfing!” said Pete defiantly. “And look at this one – JoeT Loves PeteW! This guy writes the best Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman slash! And it’s weird, because it’s like he knows me so well, too.” Pete read over some more of this mysterious JoeT Loves PeteW’s profile. “Location,” Pete read, “Pete Wentz’s pants?” He looked down at his lower half, just to realize he was still wearing the dress. “I don’t even any pants on. That's embarrassing... for him.”
“Why do you read this junk silly little teenies write about us?” asked Brendon.
“I find it endearing,” whispered Patrick bravely from across the room.
“Yeah, me too,” said Pete, “Whatever ‘endearing’ means… but he does a lot of sex scenes, this guy… I love it!”
Joe blushed, and tried to hide his face.
Andy scowled. “Quit wasting time,” he ordered. “We could die at any moment!”
“Well I want to!” yelled Spencer from the corner, speaking for the first time since they’d gotten back. He started to sob, thinking of his lost love. Where was Bob now? Was he safe? Spencer hoped he’d get off the boat in time.
“What’s up with him?” asked Jon, who no one had noticed was even in the room.
“Nevermind you,” said Andy, waving his hand dismissively at Jon and going to comfort Spencer. “Start looking up things that can actually help us, Pete!”
“But there’s an update!” whined Pete. “I wanna see if Joe finds out about my secret love with Patrick! I don’t know Patrick’s actually having an affair with Andy…”
Patrick whimpered.
“JUST DO IT, PETE!” yelled Andy.
Pete who was not used to Andy yelling at him, scowled, but did as he was told, feeling a bit hurt. After a while he said, “Would you believe it? There’s not one Intersite on this darn Interweb that tells me how to survive a sinking ship!”
“Then we’re just gonna have to find our own way,” said Andy grimly, standing up and gesturing for everyone to follow him.
“I dunno…” said Pete. “I’ll go look it up on the Interweb!” He dashed out of the room.
“Wait!” yelled Andy, and ran after him, with some difficulty in his high heels. Apparently Pete had had the same problem, because there he was, lying face down a few feet away. But he didn’t complain or whine, just got up and ran back to the room, more carefully.
Andy and the rest of FOB and P!ATD followed, leaving MCR behind to stand in confusion and fear.
When they got back to their room, the halls were alive with people running around like headless chickens.
“The Interweb is loading,” Pete announced as his buddies walked into the room.
“Can you really do that?” Andy asked in awe. “Get on the Internet in the middle of the ocean? On a sinking ship?”
“I can,” answered Pete confidently.
Everyone sat down patiently to wait while Pete looked up how to survive a cruise ship sinking on the Web.
After a while, Andy started to get antsy and asked, “What’s taking so long? Isn’t there at least one Website about how to survive a sinking ship?”
“Um – I – well –” Pete stuttered, taken off guard as Andy came over to look at what he was doing.
“Mibba? A creative writing site? What? Pete, what is this?”
“Porn?” asked Joe, hopefully, and came over to look, too. When he saw what it was, he went pale.
“I was just profile surfing!” said Pete defiantly. “And look at this one – JoeT Loves PeteW! This guy writes the best Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman slash! And it’s weird, because it’s like he knows me so well, too.” Pete read over some more of this mysterious JoeT Loves PeteW’s profile. “Location,” Pete read, “Pete Wentz’s pants?” He looked down at his lower half, just to realize he was still wearing the dress. “I don’t even any pants on. That's embarrassing... for him.”
“Why do you read this junk silly little teenies write about us?” asked Brendon.
“I find it endearing,” whispered Patrick bravely from across the room.
“Yeah, me too,” said Pete, “Whatever ‘endearing’ means… but he does a lot of sex scenes, this guy… I love it!”
Joe blushed, and tried to hide his face.
Andy scowled. “Quit wasting time,” he ordered. “We could die at any moment!”
“Well I want to!” yelled Spencer from the corner, speaking for the first time since they’d gotten back. He started to sob, thinking of his lost love. Where was Bob now? Was he safe? Spencer hoped he’d get off the boat in time.
“What’s up with him?” asked Jon, who no one had noticed was even in the room.
“Nevermind you,” said Andy, waving his hand dismissively at Jon and going to comfort Spencer. “Start looking up things that can actually help us, Pete!”
“But there’s an update!” whined Pete. “I wanna see if Joe finds out about my secret love with Patrick! I don’t know Patrick’s actually having an affair with Andy…”
Patrick whimpered.
“JUST DO IT, PETE!” yelled Andy.
Pete who was not used to Andy yelling at him, scowled, but did as he was told, feeling a bit hurt. After a while he said, “Would you believe it? There’s not one Intersite on this darn Interweb that tells me how to survive a sinking ship!”
“Then we’re just gonna have to find our own way,” said Andy grimly, standing up and gesturing for everyone to follow him.