Sugar, We're Going... On A Cruise!?

Andy thought the water was quite pleasantly warm as he hit it (hard, because of the fall). Andy looked around for Pete and Patrick. There they were – it looked as if Pete was either trying to strangle Patrick or keep himself from sinking under water by holding on to Patty’s neck.
Andy quickly scanned the water and saw a large wooden board/box thing – the kind you always see floating around at shipwrecks. Andy swam over to it and called for everyone else to follow him. Joe had to help Pete swim, but finally they got there.
“Look!” exclaimed Brendon. “We were too late! All the lifeboats are floating away!”
It was true. All the boats they could see were far away in the distance. And getting farther away by the second. There was no way they’d be able to get there in time.
Spencer burst into tears. He worried desperately for Bob.
“It’s all Phatrick Plump’s fault!” yelled Pete into the air.
But Patrick wasn’t so weak anymore. “I thought you wanted to die, Pete,” he taunted.
Andy, Brendon, Ryan, Jon and Spencer made a sound like, “Oooo,” and Spencer said, “Burn!”
Pete started to cry and buried his head in his hand.
Patrick felt quite guilty and uncomfortable and muttered he was sorry.
“Hey!” shouted Ryan suddenly. “What’s that!?”
They all looked to wear he was pointing, and there, on the horizon, was a gigantic ship.
“A pirate ship?” said Jon disbelievingly.
“Pirate’s don’t exsist!” said Joe.
“Um, yeah they do, Joe,” Andy corrected him. “But they don’t usually use giant, old-style ships like that.”
“That ship is pretty old-school,” Spencer said.
The ship kept getting closer and closer to them. “Hey!” said Patrick. “It’s looks like we might be rescued after all!”
“Who’s that standing on the bow…?” Brendon wondered. It wasn’t long before the ship got close enough that they could see.
It was Bert from The Used. He was standing on the very tip of the bow with his hands on his hips. And he wasn’t wearing anything besides a large pirate hat. Patrick gasped and covered his eyes.
Soon, more people started to come forward and look over the edge of the ship. They too were all naked. The boys in the water soon realized it was My Chemical Romance and the other members of The Used. The members of MCR were waving and yelling taunting things, all except Bob, who just stood there looking sad.
Pete was staring at Jeph Howard hungrily.
“Can we come on your ship?” giggled Ryan.
Bert gave him a long, serious look. “You can,” he said finally. “But no one else!”
There were a few noises of protest from FOB and P!ATD. Then Bob walked forward and whispered something in Bert’s ear.
Bert paused, nodded and then said, “And the one named Rebecca may come on to the ship, also. But no one else!”
Spencer looked stunned for a second, and then he hurriedly swam forward to climb up the rope ladder they were lowering down.
“You have to take off your clothes,” Bert told him as he got to the top. Then Bert looked expectantly at Ryan. “Are you coming?” he asked.
“I – but I – I can’t – no!” he stuttered. “I can’t leave my friends here to die!”
“Very well,” said Bert, “It’s your choice.”
“I’ll go in his place!” Jon offered eagerly.
Bert shrugged. “What the hell. Come aboard!”
And when Jon was at the top they started to sail away again without another word. Joe saw Spencer embracing Bob on the deck, and raised his middle finger at them.
“Ray Toro!” screamed Joe, turning to look at Ray where he was stading beside Quinn. “You should be dying here with us! You’re all gonna burn in hell!”
“See ya, suckers!” yelled Quinn, and then they were gone.
Fall Out Boy and what remained of Panic! At the Disco were completely and utterly alone. All the life boats had sailed away. All they could see was a single dead body who had also been to late, already floating a few yards away.
Patrick uncovered his eyes and whimpered. “I don’t wanna die!” he exclaimed.
“I know, man,” said Joe. “This sucks.”

Hours later, as the sun was high in the sky above their heads, FOB and the half of P!ATD lay on their piece of driftwood, thirsty and fading away. There was so much water… and yet not a drop to drink.
“You guys wanna play cards?” asked Joe hoarsely.
“Do you have any?” Andy snapped.
“No…”
They didn’t speak for a while, and then Pete said cheerily, “Well, it looks like this is it!”
Ryan started to cry. “I should have gone with them!” he wailed.
“I know, but I’m glad you stayed,” whispered Brendon, and swam over to hug him.
Pete continued: “We’re gonna die and – oh, shit, we’re gonna die!”
“A second ago you were happy about that,” said Andy.
“I know but I just realized – I’m wearing clothes!”
“Yeah, so?”
“It’s just,” said Pete, “I’ve always had this dream of dying naked.”
“But then why did you make us all change into “man” clothes before we tried to escape?!” Brendon exclaimed. “We could be in a lifeboat and safe right now!”
“I forgot about my dream for a little while so what?” snapped Pete grumpily, trying to get his pants off. “Anyone got a knife?” he asked. “I’m gonna have to cut my jeans off.”
They all dug in their pockets for knives until Pete said, “Never mind! It ripped!” He pulled his pants above the surface of the water. Patrick moved away from him. Joe moved closer.
They all laid their heads down on the board and waited to die.
Pete started to think. It’s really happening. I’m gonna die. I wonder… I wonder if because I’ve been so mean to Patrick I’ll go to hell?! he suddenly thought. I better do something… “Patrick…?” Pete whispered.
“Yeah?” answered Patrick.
“I wanted to… I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
“S – sorry?” Patrick squeaked, hardly believing his ears. “For what?”
“For treating you so horrible. It was wrong of me and I want you to have these.” And then Pete, who was still holding his pants, reached into their pockets and pulled out the big, amazing red earrings with black stars on them. The ocean water had washed off all the blood and gunk, and they were shiny and new-looking and sparkled in the sun. Pete held them out to Patrick. He wouldn’t have done this, not in million years, unless he knew he was going to die.
Patrick took them, tears raising in his eyes, and put them in his own pocket. “Thank you…” he said so softly Pete could barely hear.
“I… I wanted to tell you something, too, Patrick,” Andy said. “I also wanted to say I’m sorry. For not standing up for you enough when Pete was being mean to you or something. I really sorry.”
“Oh, Andy!” exclaimed Patrick. “You did your best! I forgive you both.”
“Patrick,” said Joe, finally. “I to have something I need to tell y – you.” Joe started to cry. “I b – burned it, P - Patrick! I b – burned the s – sock!”
“Huh?” said Patrick.
“The sock I g - gave you for your b - birthday! I h – had the other one but I b – burned it so you could n – never f – find it! I’m s – sorry!”
“Oh…” said Patrick, awkwardly, “It’s… okay, Joe.”
And then, with their consciences clean, they all started to let the blackness of death sweep over them.
And that was when Patrick Martin Stump (aka PMS) awoke from his dream.