Sugar, We're Going... On A Cruise!?
A mysterious stranger everyone knows is Gerard
After the short party, all their food came, and Ryan had a grand time sweeping all the gift wrapping off the table onto the floor to make room.
“So,” said Brendon after a while, “We’ve been meaning to ask you,” he motioned to Ryan, and himself, “How do our beards look?”
Everyone was blank. “You don’t even have beards,” said Pete, finally.
Brendon looked sad. “But Pete, I thought you, out of all people would understand!”
“Why?” asked Pete, giving him a searing look. “Jon’s is awesome. You guys have no facial hair whatsoever.”
Brendon and Ryan looked like they were going to cry. “We’ve been trying so hard!” said Ryan.
“You know what?” began Patrick, who was actually beginning to feel quite comfortable, “Give up on the beards! Sideburns are way better!”
“Nuh-uh!” yelled Ryan. “Sideburns are soooo lame! They’re like, soooo 30 years ago!!”
Of course he was just saying this to make himself feel better, because everyone knows that sideburns are the most awesome thing ever, but Patrick, being how he is, took it to heart and vowed to shave off his sideburns first chance he got.
Just then, Pete’s cell phone rang. He had just taken a huge bite of his dinner, who when he answered, it sounded like, “Hewhoa?” when what he really meant was ‘hello’. Silly Pete.
I few seconds later, Pete exclaimed, “OMG!! William Beckett! No way!!!!!” and mashed potatoes sprayed out of his mouth and across the table, some landing on Spencer.
“I’M ALLERGIC TO BEANS!!!” Spencer yelled, flailing his arms wildly.
“Nuh-uh no you’re not liar,” said Ryan, and threw some broccoli at Spencer.
“FOOD FIGHT!!!” screamed Joe, and chucked a handful of peas at a woman sitting at the next table over. Very soon, the room exploded in noise and yells as people started to throw things at each other. But above all the noise came one voice, screaming, “SHUT UP!!!!!!!”
It was Pete.
“CAN’T YOU SEE I’M TRYING TO HAVE A PHONE CONVERSATION HERE?!?!? YOU’RE ALL SO RUDE!!! YOU HAVE NO MANNERS AT ALL!!!!!” And with that he got up and kicked the table closest to him, and then tipped it over on the people that were sitting at it. They screamed in horror as their 100-dollar-dinner went spilling into their laps.
Pete then sat back down, the people around cringing in fear, completely silent. Pete cleared his throat and held his phone up to his ear again, but not on his ear, ‘cause he didn’t like it when the screen got all greasy.
“Willy? You still there?” Pete asked into the phone, in a completely normal voice. Willy must have spoken, because Pete smiled and said, “Yeah, I’m back. Just a minor disturbance. No, I’m on a cruise. No, for Patrick’s birthday. Of course he has a birthday! Everyone does. Well, I think… What’s that? LOL, no way! ROFL, that is so funny, Willy! What am I doing right now? I’m eating dinner. Of course I still eat!” There was a bit of a pause. Then, “No, I kind of started to see that there was no point in not eating. No, of course I still want to be a skinny, sexy, stud, but there’s another way. You just eat everything you want then make yourself puke. Problem solved. How? Well…”
Pete then looked up and saw everyone staring at him still.
“GOSH!” he said. “Can’t you people give my some privacy?!?” they looked away hurriedly. “’Kay, I’m back,” he said into the phone. “Oh, you have to go? Well, it was nice talking to you. I promise we can get together when I get back.” Pete giggled. “Yes, we can get together in bed. Bye, Willy.”
Pete sighed dreamily.
“Somebody has a crush,” Andy giggled.
“Shudup!” said Pete.
“I like William,” said Joe. “He’s a cowboy, like me.”
“How are you a cowboy?” accused Ryan. “You don’t even wear a hat.”
“Patrick wears a hat,” Pete chimed in.
“I’mma cowboy because I don’t feel emotion!” yelled Joe angrily. “I don’t even need a stupid hat!!”
All of the sudden, Pete sniffed the air. “I smell… Gerard.”
“What’s Gerard?” asked Patrick, fearing that it might be some horrible disease.
“Way.”
“No way!” said Spencer, feeling very proud of himself.
“Gerard Way, you idiot,” said Pete, and smacked Spencer hard, knocking him out of his chair onto the floor.
Just then, Brendon noticed a black-hooded figure across the room. He silently pointed.
“Hi Gerard!” shouted Pete.
The hooded figure stalked up to them, and removed his hood, revealing (gasp!) Gerard!
“Well, well, well,” he said. “If it isn’t Phatrick Plump and Feet Stench.” He chose to ignore everyone else, since he didn’t have mean names for anyone else.
“You’re gonna die someday, Gerard!” yelled Pete.
“No…” said Gerard. “I am already dead.” Then he left, leaving them in a state of horror.
“So,” said Brendon after a while, “We’ve been meaning to ask you,” he motioned to Ryan, and himself, “How do our beards look?”
Everyone was blank. “You don’t even have beards,” said Pete, finally.
Brendon looked sad. “But Pete, I thought you, out of all people would understand!”
“Why?” asked Pete, giving him a searing look. “Jon’s is awesome. You guys have no facial hair whatsoever.”
Brendon and Ryan looked like they were going to cry. “We’ve been trying so hard!” said Ryan.
“You know what?” began Patrick, who was actually beginning to feel quite comfortable, “Give up on the beards! Sideburns are way better!”
“Nuh-uh!” yelled Ryan. “Sideburns are soooo lame! They’re like, soooo 30 years ago!!”
Of course he was just saying this to make himself feel better, because everyone knows that sideburns are the most awesome thing ever, but Patrick, being how he is, took it to heart and vowed to shave off his sideburns first chance he got.
Just then, Pete’s cell phone rang. He had just taken a huge bite of his dinner, who when he answered, it sounded like, “Hewhoa?” when what he really meant was ‘hello’. Silly Pete.
I few seconds later, Pete exclaimed, “OMG!! William Beckett! No way!!!!!” and mashed potatoes sprayed out of his mouth and across the table, some landing on Spencer.
“I’M ALLERGIC TO BEANS!!!” Spencer yelled, flailing his arms wildly.
“Nuh-uh no you’re not liar,” said Ryan, and threw some broccoli at Spencer.
“FOOD FIGHT!!!” screamed Joe, and chucked a handful of peas at a woman sitting at the next table over. Very soon, the room exploded in noise and yells as people started to throw things at each other. But above all the noise came one voice, screaming, “SHUT UP!!!!!!!”
It was Pete.
“CAN’T YOU SEE I’M TRYING TO HAVE A PHONE CONVERSATION HERE?!?!? YOU’RE ALL SO RUDE!!! YOU HAVE NO MANNERS AT ALL!!!!!” And with that he got up and kicked the table closest to him, and then tipped it over on the people that were sitting at it. They screamed in horror as their 100-dollar-dinner went spilling into their laps.
Pete then sat back down, the people around cringing in fear, completely silent. Pete cleared his throat and held his phone up to his ear again, but not on his ear, ‘cause he didn’t like it when the screen got all greasy.
“Willy? You still there?” Pete asked into the phone, in a completely normal voice. Willy must have spoken, because Pete smiled and said, “Yeah, I’m back. Just a minor disturbance. No, I’m on a cruise. No, for Patrick’s birthday. Of course he has a birthday! Everyone does. Well, I think… What’s that? LOL, no way! ROFL, that is so funny, Willy! What am I doing right now? I’m eating dinner. Of course I still eat!” There was a bit of a pause. Then, “No, I kind of started to see that there was no point in not eating. No, of course I still want to be a skinny, sexy, stud, but there’s another way. You just eat everything you want then make yourself puke. Problem solved. How? Well…”
Pete then looked up and saw everyone staring at him still.
“GOSH!” he said. “Can’t you people give my some privacy?!?” they looked away hurriedly. “’Kay, I’m back,” he said into the phone. “Oh, you have to go? Well, it was nice talking to you. I promise we can get together when I get back.” Pete giggled. “Yes, we can get together in bed. Bye, Willy.”
Pete sighed dreamily.
“Somebody has a crush,” Andy giggled.
“Shudup!” said Pete.
“I like William,” said Joe. “He’s a cowboy, like me.”
“How are you a cowboy?” accused Ryan. “You don’t even wear a hat.”
“Patrick wears a hat,” Pete chimed in.
“I’mma cowboy because I don’t feel emotion!” yelled Joe angrily. “I don’t even need a stupid hat!!”
All of the sudden, Pete sniffed the air. “I smell… Gerard.”
“What’s Gerard?” asked Patrick, fearing that it might be some horrible disease.
“Way.”
“No way!” said Spencer, feeling very proud of himself.
“Gerard Way, you idiot,” said Pete, and smacked Spencer hard, knocking him out of his chair onto the floor.
Just then, Brendon noticed a black-hooded figure across the room. He silently pointed.
“Hi Gerard!” shouted Pete.
The hooded figure stalked up to them, and removed his hood, revealing (gasp!) Gerard!
“Well, well, well,” he said. “If it isn’t Phatrick Plump and Feet Stench.” He chose to ignore everyone else, since he didn’t have mean names for anyone else.
“You’re gonna die someday, Gerard!” yelled Pete.
“No…” said Gerard. “I am already dead.” Then he left, leaving them in a state of horror.