Learn From Cigarette Burns

Hearing the whistling of the tea kettle in the kitchen, I set aside my hairbrush and made my way down the hallway from our bedroom. I quickly reached the kitchen and turned the stove off before taking note of the two empty mugs that had been set out on the counter top.

"Babe?" I called out. "John?"

When I received no answer in return, I walked into the living room and found my fiancé sprawled out on one of the couches, fast asleep. Knowing that he had gotten very little sleep the night before, I bit my lip and went back into the kitchen to fix some tea.

Last night the guys had their last show of the tour and immediately afterwards we jumped on a plane and flew into Phoenix. We had gotten home at 4:30 in the morning and as soon as my head hit the pillow I had fallen asleep. When I woke up at 11:15 in John's arms, I found that he was wide awake and reading a book, having not had been able to fall asleep.

Now, however, it seems that the sleep has finally caught up with him, thirty minutes before we were supposed to meet with the bakery that was going to make our wedding cake. I finished making the tea and carefully carried both mugs into the living room. Setting the mugs on the coffee table, I leaned over and pressed my lips gently to his cheek.

My fiancé stirred slightly and then grumbled a few incoherent words under his breath before he opened his eyes. Bloodshot, his eyes swiveled tiredly around the room for a second or two. When he finally caught sight of me, his eyes focused and a look of comprehension crossed his face.

“Sweetheart,” he said tiredly. “I must have dosed off for a few minutes.”

“If you want, I can call the bakery and ask if we can reschedule our appointment.” I offered.

“No,” John said as he sat up. “No,” he repeated with a shake of his head. “I’m up. Is this mine?” He asked, nodding to the cup of tea placed in front of him.

“Yeah babe.”

Without another word, he took the mug filled with hot tea and left the room, making his way to the bedroom. Knowing that he was changing, I passed the time by tidying up a few things around the living room. By the time I finished my tea and chores, John emerged once again, this time fully clothed.

“You ready, love?”

Unable to help myself, I smiled and then nodded my head. John grabbed his keys and then held his hand out to me. I grabbed my purse and then slipped my hand into his, letting him lead me to the front door.

The drive to the bakery took merely ten minutes. John, still trying to shake off the last of his sleep, was quiet for the most part. It wasn’t until we were crossing the parking lot of the bakery, hand in hand, that he struck up a normal conversation.

“So what exactly are we doing today?” He wondered aloud.

“We’re going to discuss the design for our cake.” I said. “You know, how we want it to look and stuff.”

“Oh.” He said. “Well this shouldn’t take that long then, right? I mean, we got that picture that they can go off of?”

“Yeah. We’re also sampling cakes.”

John frowned softly and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Sampling cakes?”

“You know, the different types of flavor. Like, chocolate, vanilla, lemon, strawberry … that sort of stuff.”

“Oh, I see.” John replied. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I decided not to snack on anything before we came over here.”

“You’d be getting all sick and throw up everywhere.” I teased. “Kind of like you do when you get shit faced.”

“Hey,” he said, laughing to himself, “Let’s just not talk about that, alright?”

Although I had a few more examples of him throwing up, I bit my lip and decided to keep the memories to myself. At the front of the bakery, John let go of my hand and held the door open for me. I walked in and observed my surroundings. Although the bakery was fairly small, it was still busy. A small bell above the door dinged as I entered, letting the owners know that there was another customer.

A harassed, yet friendly looking middle aged man glanced up at me and then offered a warm smile. “Good morning, ma’am.” He said. “I’ll be with you in just a second.”

I responded with an appropriate reply and then nodded to a small table where John and I sat down. We passed the couple of minutes with small talk before the bakery emptied and the man came over to join us.

“Sorry about that wait,” he apologized. He patted down the tie-dyed apron he wore and then shook each of our hands. “My name is Shawn. You two must be Dee and John.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Shawn. My cousin swears by your bakery here.” I smiled.

“Your cousin, hmm? Who might that be?”

“Nancy Timmons.”

“Oh, Nancy.” Shawn grinned. “A loyal customer.” He laughed softly. “So, let’s get to business, shall we?”

About an hour later, John and I had decided on a velvet cake that would match the wine colored bridesmaid dresses. After thanking Shawn for seemingly the millionth time, he sent us away with reassurances that our cake would be exactly as I imagined.

“Goodness,” I sighed when John and I got back to his car. “I think I ate too much cake.”

“Sweetheart, you look like you’re gonna hurl.” John mumbled.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m not gonna throw up.”

“You look pale.” He frowned. “Are you sure you’re not going to throw up?”

“I’m fine.” I said as I rolled down the window. “Let’s just get back to the house, alright?”

John opened his mouth to keep arguing but thought better of it. Instead, he turned his full attention to the road and maneuvered us through the late lunch traffic. We made a quick pit stop at Subway to grab something to have for lunch when we were feeling up for it before we went back home.

“Dee, do you want to watch – “

John stopped his words short when I pushed my way past him and hurried to the bathroom. Arriving not a moment too soon, I doubled over in front of the toilet and emptied out the contents of my stomach. A couple of seconds after I started, a pair of hands pulled back my hair, holding it out of my way.

“Oh, love.” John sighed. “No offense, but you look terrible.”

“Johno, I feel terrible.” I whined when I could. “Ugh, this is so disgusting. I think it was the cakes.”

“I don’t know,” my fiancé mumbled, “I feel perfectly fine.”

“What else would it be then?” I snapped, irritated with the fact that my insides were feeling the urge to suddenly be on the outside of my body.

“I don’t know.” He repeated. “Do you want me to go and get you some kind of medicine?”

Seeing as how I was back to throwing up, John waited patiently for my answer. When I was done, I grabbed a handful of toilet paper and used it to wipe my mouth.

“Can you get me some iced tea?” I whispered softly. “And crackers?”

“I know for a fact we don’t have any in the house, so I’m gonna have to run down to the store for that.”

“Thank you.” I muttered before hurling my insides into the toilet.

John stayed put, holding my hair in place and rubbing my back for comfort. After a few minutes, when I felt I had nothing left to throw up, I allowed John to help me to my feet and washed my face. The cool water on my face helped a lot, and I took a deep breath, letting out slowly to help calm myself down.

“You want to lay in the living room or the bedroom?” John asked.

“Living room.”

Wrapping a protective arm around me, John led me from the bathroom and to the living room. After lying me down on the couch, he quickly produced a blanket and fluffed up pillow for me.

“You want to watch a movie?” He asked thoughtfully.

“Sure.” I replied. “You can pick something out.”

Without another word, John went over to the television and quickly scanned through our collection of DVD’s. Within a few seconds, he had picked one out and popped it into the DVD player. I caught a glimpse of the cover as he put the case back, and I smiled to myself. The Princess Bride.

“I’m gonna run a few other errands while I’m out, and probably stop by Jared’s house to drop some things off, and pick some things up.” He told me while handing me the remote. “I’ll try not to be too long, but if you need me to come home sooner just call me, okay?”

“Alright.” I mumbled.

My fiancé stood there, staring at me with a concern looked on his face. His eyes looked as if he wanted to say something else, but his mouth remained silent. Finally, he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“I love you, babe.” He whispered.

“Love you too.”

Collecting his keys from the coffee table, my fiancé headed out the front door and left me alone with my movie and nausea.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jared paced back and forth in a nervous manner while I sat at the small dining table. Every so often my friend would pause, glancing at the slender box in my hands, before he continued on his slow, anxious walk.

This lasted for a few more minutes until he finally sighed heavily and sat down in the other chair at the table.

“John, are you sure about this?” He asked, nodding to the box.

“Well,” I muttered, “no? Yes? I don’t know, I just had this gut feeling and decided to follow it, you know?”

“Your gut feeling told you that your fiancé is pregnant?” Jared questioned quizzically.

“She was throwing up for no reason.” I said defensively. “It’s that what happens when girls get pregnant?”

“It’s called morning sickness, Johno. Not early afternoon sickness that comes about after eating a bunch of cakes and goodies.” He muttered.

“I ate the same stuff and I feel just fine.” I insisted.

“No offense Johno, but you’re a guy who can put away half a cake with no problem.”

“Look, Jared, I just … have this feeling, alright? Call it intuition, call it whatever. I know Dee, and lately there’s been something different about her. I didn’t want to say anything because they were just subtle, but … hell, it’s this feeling.”

My close friend studied me momentarily before he sighed softly. “I’m sorry John, but I don’t really know what to tell you here. I’ve never had to deal with this sort of thing before so it looks like you’ll just have to wing it.”

“I know,” I sighed. “I just … needed some sort of moral support I guess.”

“Well, you know you have it, Johno. Just because I can’t offer any words to help doesn’t mean you don’t have my moral support.” Jared pointed out.

“Thanks, Jared, I appreciate it.” I said truthfully.

“You’d better get back to the missus then.” He said. “Make sure she’s all right.”

I nodded my head before I gathered up my things I came to pick up and shoved them into the paper bag, along with the pregnancy test. “I’ll give you a call later and let you know how things turn out.”

I stood up and made a move for the door but the sound of Jared’s voice stopped me. “If Dee really is pregnant, I just want you to know that we’re all willing to help out.”

“Thanks,” I repeated. “I’ll talk to you later, Jared.”

“Later man.”

The drive back to the apartment seemed to fly by, despite the fact that Jared lived on the opposite side of the town as us. I found Dee to be on the same spot as I had left her in when I got back home. She smiled tiredly up at me as I entered the living room and then slowly sat up.

“How are you feeling?” I questioned.

“Sleepy, but a lot better.”

“I got something for you.” I muttered. “I don’t want you to get mad at me or anything, but …” I trailed off as I pulled the home pregnancy test out of the bag.

“Babe, it was just something I ate.” Dee said, eyeing the box momentarily before turning back to the television.

“Maybe, but what if it wasn’t?” I sighed. “Sweetheart, it won’t hurt just to try.”

My childhood sweetheart turned her eyes back to me, studying me for a few, intense seconds. “Fine.” She said. “If it’ll make you feel better, give me that damn box.”

Snatching the box out of my hands, Dee stood up and went into the bathroom, leaving me to wait beside the couch. Not having the courage to follow her to the bathroom, I sank down onto the couch and closed my eyes, hoping that the feeling I had was just something silly. The minutes felt more like hours to me but I remained in place, determined to give Dee some space. It wasn’t until I heard her call my name that I got up and went to check on her.

“Sweetheart?” I whispered with a soft knock on the door.

“It’s open.”

I hesitated for a second before I opened the door and went inside. I saw Dee sitting on the edge of the bathtub, her hands lying clasped in her lap. The pregnancy test was on the edge of the counter and from my spot by the door I was able to clearly see the result.

“John, how could you have known I was pregnant?” She muttered. “How could you know something was different about me when I didn’t even realize it?”

I crossed the small bathroom in a few quick steps and had my fiancé in my arms before I replied.

“I don’t know, love.” I whispered. “I just had this feeling.”

Dee held me tightly as if she didn’t dare to let me go. “John, what are we going to do? We’re only nineteen. I … are we ready for this?”

“It doesn’t matter if we’re ready for it,” I said quietly, “it’s going to happen. I mean, we’re going to have to make you an appointment at the doctor’s office to make sure you really are pregnant, but if you really are …” I trailed off, not exactly sure what I was going to say next.

“I’m honestly freaking out on the inside, John.” Dee mumbled.

“So am I.” I said truthfully.

Tightening my arms around my fiancé, I held her as close to me as I possibly could. Usually I didn’t mind being right, but this time being right gave me no satisfaction whatsoever.