Learn From Cigarette Burns

I watched the tall, blonde haired boy do a trick on his skateboard and widened my eyes slightly as I thought about what it would be like if I tried to mimic his actions. I had already given it a go on the board and found myself flat on my ass a few seconds later. When he was done, he turned his blue eyes in my direction, giving me a cute smile, before he skated his way toward me.

“Dee, you want to try it out again?” Kyle asked.

I hesitated slightly before I shook my head and crossed my arms in front of my chest. Laughing softly, Kyle reached over and found one of my hands, giving it a gentle tug.

“Come on,” he insisted. “Give it another go.”

I frowned at him but allowed him to help me up onto the skateboard.

“You don’t even have to do anything,” he said, “I’ll lead you around and all you need to do is stand there.”

Holding tightly to his hand, I did as I was told, and he did what he said he would. We continued like this in silence for a couple of minutes before Kyle laughed quietly to himself.

“Hmm?” I wondered.

“Anybody watching us would think I’m trying to steal you away from O’Callaghan.” He said.

“Are you?” I joked.

“Well, yeah, kinda.” He said, attempting and failing to keep a straight face.

“I’d like to see a fight between you and Johno.” I admitted. “I think that’d be cool.”

“We’re not gladiators, Dee,” he grinned, “we’re not going to fight for your entertainment.”

I smiled up at him before turning my attention back to the pavement in front of me. “Just saying.”

“You’re weird.” Kyle pointed on. “Now prepare yourself, I’m gonna let go of your hand.”

“No, Kyle!” I protested, but I was too late.

Without Kyle’s help, I glided perhaps two or three feet and then came to a stop.

“Kick with your foot,” Kyle said.

“Which foot?” I grumbled.

“Whichever foot your comfortable kicking with.”

I glanced in the opposite direction as Kyle so he couldn’t see me roll my eyes before I lowered a shaky foot to the ground. I paused momentarily before I kicked off and quickly put my foot back on the board, praying that I wouldn’t fall.

“See, it’s not so hard.” Kyle pointed out after I kicked off once again.

“Eh, I guess not.” I admitted.

“I think you’ll be fine as long as you practice.” Kyle asked. “Johno has a board, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah.” I said. “I think he has a couple actually. He’s never taught me how to stake though because he always tells me I’ll fall and hurt myself.”

“He doesn’t want you all broken up.” Kyle smiled. “Honestly, I think you’ll be fine. Just steal one of his boards and practice down in the parking lot.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to practice for too much longer.” I said, before thinking my sentence through.

Kyle tilted his head to the side, giving me a questioning look. “What do you mean?”

“I-I,” I stuttered dumbly, “oh, nothing.” I said, shaking my head.

“Dee,” Kyle frowned softly, “what is it?”

I sighed quietly to myself, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to get out of this without telling Kyle the truth. I carefully stopped the board and stepped off.

“I’m pregnant, Kyle.” I told him. “I was pretty much freaking out about it and then my dad sent me and Johno on an all expense paid road trip, that’s how we ended up here in Texas. I’m still kinda freaking out about it from time to time, but, it’s nothing like how I used to be.”

“Oh, Dee,” he said gently, “well, first off, congratulations.” He said, giving me a small yet warm embrace. “And second,” he added, pulling away from me, “you sound exactly like my sister did when she found out she was pregnant.” He paused momentarily and pulled me aside onto a nearby bench. “She was scared out of her mind, mood swings left and right, worried that she wasn’t ready to take care of and raise a child.”

“And then what happened to her?” I whispered. “Did she … eventually, you know, calm down about it?”

“Well, yeah.” He replied. “It wasn’t really until my nephew was born where everything sort of fell into place with my sister. It was like … as soon as she saw him, her motherly instincts kicked in.”

“I hope it’s not going to be like that for me. I mean … I want to be a good mom before the baby even gets here, you know?”

“Well … I think you’re a lot different than my sister.” Kyle said. “You have Johno. My sister didn’t have anybody. I mean, she had us but my nephews father … he ditched out before my sister even found out she was pregnant.”

“That’s terrible.” I muttered.

“Yeah,” Kyle agreed, “but, my sister is fine now, just as happy as ever.”

“I don’t know how I would do any of this without Johno.” I confessed.

“You’re good for Johno.” Kyle told me. “You keep him grounded. I think that he would be just as lost without you as you would be without him. Johno is a good friend of mine, don’t get me wrong, but he can be a little loopy from time to time,” he grinned, “but when you’re around he’s a little more sane.”

“Would you believe me if I said that when we first started dating, he was the sane one and I was the loopy one?” I asked.

“No shit.”

“Yeah,” I said, smiling back at the memories of our series of first dates. “Johno was always so serious back then and now he’s, well …” I trailed off, knowing that Kyle had taken the hint.

“Can I ask you a kind of personal question?”

“Sure.”

Kyle licked his lips slightly, his eyes downcast to the ground as he contemplated what he was to ask.

“How did you know that you were in love with Johno? I mean … what was that moment like? Did it just hit you at once? Or did you slowly get there over time?”

I shrugged my shoulders, knowing perfectly well when the moment was that I first fell in love with him, but did not know how exactly to put it into words. A strong breeze blew across us, sending Kyle’s bangs into his face and my hair into my eyes. I reached up, pushing aside my hair and then scooted a little closer to my companion.

“Did you know that Johno and I have been together since eighth grade?” I questioned.

Beside me, Kyle shook his head.

“Before Johno I had had a couple of boyfriends, but nothing serious. Nothing like Johno. I was going to dump Johno after our eighth grade graduation because I thought he was lame.” I smiled. “But he gave me a pretty charm bracelet and seduced me with flowers, so I held off and decided to see where the summer took us. We were supposed to go to this big show one night … it was supposed to be the biggest show of the summer you know. Anyway, I got sick and I told Johno to go without me. He did go for a little while, but then he left the show and came over to my house.”

I paused, laughing at that night.

“I wasn’t supposed to have any friends over, least of all a boy, after ten o’clock, so Johno climbed up to my second story window with a thermostat full of chicken noodle soup and a box of crackers. As soon as he came through the window I … somehow knew that I was in love.”

“Even at fourteen years old?” Kyle questioned.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” I said, “it’s was just kind of like … I don’t know. That’s the moment he won me over. Just the fact that he was there with me, even in all my ugly sickness business, instead of at the show he had been talking about nonstop for six weeks, it meant a lot you know. It made me realize that he wasn’t messing around. I realized he really cared for me.”

Kyle smiled warmly and then wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “You’re very lucky, you know. Johno is crazy about you, and you are most definitely crazy about Johno. Most people don’t find a love like that so soon, if at all.”

“I know.” I said quietly, letting myself fall into Kyle’s embrace.

Kyle hugged me tightly and then released me in a somewhat hasty manner. I looked up at him, giving him a weird look.

“You never know,” he said, climbing back to his feet and offering his hand out to mine, “O’Callaghan might have someone keeping an eye on us, and you just may get that gladiator battle after all.”

I rolled my eyes and suppressed a smile as I slipped my hand into his, letting him help me up as well. After Kyle released my hand, we set off in comfortable silence down the sidewalk, heading back to Kyle’s house.

Tomorrow afternoon Johno and I were heading back to Arizona, but after spending time with the guys here in Texas I found that tomorrow afternoon seemed too soon.