Learn From Cigarette Burns

With a start, I woke up and quickly glanced around the bare bedroom. I took a few deep breaths and sat there motionless in an attempt to calm my racing heart. When my heart beat was back to normal, I pushed the blankets back and climbed to my feet. The cold hardwood floor sent a small jolt through my lower limbs, but the feeling quickly went away as my feet got use to the sudden difference of temperature.

My feet safely maneuvered me around the piles of boxes that had sat there for six weeks, waiting patiently to be unpacked.

John and I had managed to close the deal for our house three days before he left for tour. The three days that followed were hectic and stressful for everyone. With the help of our friends, family, and the high school aged neighbor boys that lived across the street, we managed to get everything moved out of our old apartment and into the new house.

So far, the only thing I’ve managed to unpack was the kitchen and dining room. Those two rooms were the only rooms that I’ve had the heart to unpack, simply because they seemed like the most impersonal rooms in the entire house. I wanted John to be here with me, setting up our bedroom and the living room, I wanted it to be something we did together, seeing as how that was where we would spend the most time, both together and apart.

John’s parents stopped by the day after he left for tour and insisted on buying us a dining table; our old table simply wasn’t big enough to hold a proper meal on. While looking at tables, my mom ‘happened’ to run into us and then offered to buy us a dining room hutch so that we had a place to put all the dinnerware we had received as wedding presents. It just so happened that the table John’s parents bought matched the hutch that my mom had picked out.

Granted, both pieces are beautiful, so I truly can’t complain.

I slowly made my way to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of iced tea. When I was done with my drink, I rinsed it off in the sink and set it on the dish rack to dry. As I was drying my hands, I felt a small kick originating from within my womb. Tossing the hand towel aside, I placed one hand on my belly where the baby had kicked, and then placed my other on the small of my back.

Taking a few more deep breaths, I closed my eyes and wished that John could be here with me, rather than being halfway across the country. It would still be two more week until he got home, and I knew that the boys he was touring with would take care of him, but still, I wanted him here.

A few days after John left for tour, I went and got my first ultrasound. My gynecologist told me that everything looked as it should, in regards to how far along I was with my pregnancy, and I relayed this news to John, along with a copy of the ultrasound.

However, there was something else I learned, that I had decided to keep from John.

I was carrying twins.

I didn’t know how to tell John. It wasn’t something I wanted to tell him over the phone. It’s not because I’m scared of how he would react, but rather because I wanted to see his face when I told him. The ultrasound I had sent was pretty undistinguishable if you didn’t have anyone to point out which part was what. And so far it seems like no one of tour has been able to make heads or tails of exactly what they were looking at when they saw the ultrasound.

I know that it will be a little bit of a shock for him to see me, seeing as how I wasn’t showing when he left, and by the time Johno get’s home, I will be nearing the end of my second trimester.

It’s taken me some time getting use to the baby bump, but to be honest, I’ve kinda taken a liking to it.

After a couple of minutes, the kicking ceased and I couldn’t help but smile to myself. I could already tell that our kids would be two feisty little buggers.

No longer tired, I decided to go into the living room and watch some television; John had made sure to at least get the television hooked up the Direct TV and a DVR before he set off for tour, there was no way he was going to miss all his favorite shows.

I grabbed a blanket from the hallway closet and then settled carefully onto the couch. Before long, I was engulfed into a heart wrenching episode of Grey’s Anatomy and was trying my hardest to fight back the tears.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and I jumped in surprise. Almost simultaneously, the kicking within my womb started back up and I placed a hand on my stomach before looking in the direction of the front door. A few seconds later, the doorbell rang again, and I heard my younger brother’s voice calling my name.

Once I realized it was David, my nerves calmed down and I got up, making my way to the front door. I undid the locks on the door and opened it, finding my brother leaning against the wall in a drunken manner.

“David, what the hell?” I asked. “Are you okay? How did you get here? You didn’t drive, did you?” I demanded to know.

Straightening himself up, he shook his head and then reached over, squeezing my hand tightly.

“I’m sorry to wake you up,” he muttered, his breath smelling of black licorice, a telltale sign of the Jager he had been drinking. “I know it’s late.”

“I ...” I trailed off, not even realizing the time.

“Can I come in?” He whispered.

“Of course,” I said, “hurry, before the cold comes in.”

He did as I said, and waited for me to lock up once again before following me to the living room. When I sat down on the couch, David kneeled in front of me and rested his head against my belly. I ran my fingers through his wavy, brown hair and sighed quietly, wondering what my brother was doing here.

As if reading my mind, he spoke up.

“Sister, I messed up.” He said. “I messed up big time.”

“David, what did you do?” I whispered, keeping myself from thinking of the worse.

“I got a girl pregnant.” He said quietly. “She didn’t tell me until today. She … she’s already four months along.” He added before letting out a small sob.

“Oh, David, I,” I paused slightly, unsure as to what to say, “are you sure it’s yours?”

“The timeline fits,” he said, sobbing quietly into my clothes, “we messed around for a few days before going on our own ways.”

I reached down, rubbing his back in comfort. “Is it someone I know?” I wondered aloud.

“Ava Peterson.” He replied.

“Ava wouldn’t lie about something like this,” I said softly, “nor would she sleep around. But … why did it take her so long to tell you?”

David shrugged his shoulders as he pulled away from me and wiped his eyes. “I guess for the same reason why I’m crying right now. She wanted the father of her child to be someone she loved, not just a boy she had jazz band with in high school. Her family is big on prolife … not that abortion is an option now, nor was it something I ever would have considered in the first place.”

“Oh, David,” I whispered. “What are you going to tell mom and dad?”

“The truth.” He said. “What else can I tell them?”

“Are you and Ava going to consider, you know … a relationship?”

David took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he got up, and then took a seat beside me. He somehow managed to snuggle his way underneath my arm and then wrapped his carefully around me, hugging me tightly.

“No,” he said, “Ava and I don’t really have any chemistry, that’s why we decided not to get involved in a relationship in the first place. I mean, if the only reason we decide to get together is because we’re having a child together, it’s not going to end well. It’s better if we stay apart, for our sake and for our child’s sake.”

I tightened my arm around my brother, and couldn’t help but admire his decision. Despite the tears and the alcohol, he was being mature about everything that had been thrown at him. When I found out about my own pregnancy, I wanted to yell, scream, and beat up everyone because I had no idea what I was going to do.

“You know,” I whispered, “our kids are going to get to grow up together.” I pointed out.

“Three little Thompson kids growing up at once?” He asked with a soft laugh, “that can’t be good. I mean, look at me, you, and Jennifer growing up together, that had to have been hell on our parents. And considering that your kids will be part O’Callaghan’s … shit will be crazy.”

“Goodness,” I smiled, “looking at it from that point of view, I understand now why everyone thinks I’m crazy for wanting a lot of kids.”

I saw my brother smile out of the corner of my eye before a serious look crossed his face once more.

“Did you tell Johno about the twins yet?” He asked. “Or does he still think y’all are only going to be bringing home one kid?”

“I haven’t told him yet,” I mumbled, “I wanted to tell him in person.”

David nodded his head in agreement. “News is always better in person. Both the good and the bad. It’s always better in person.”

Without another word, we settled in to finish watching the episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Suddenly the episode didn’t seem like such a tear jerker to me. Shit that happens in the real world is always more shocking and dramatic. And it’s always more amazing.