What Happens When They Leave You.

Being insane isn’t always a bad thing. People say being insane can be being a total mental person that needs professional help. Being insane can also be classified by being in love. You do crazy and insane things when you are in love. I guess that what brought me here. I was in love. I did stupid thing, things I wouldn’t normally do. Things that weren’t considered normal and now I have to pay the price. Not him, never him. He didn’t exactly walk away, he got taken away. Taken away from me. Taken away from our life together, the life we were going to make would have been wonderful. We were going to get married. He even said something about adopting children, since we couldn’t have our own. It was going to be wonderful, and then they had to ruin it all. Why couldn’t they just leave us alone? It’s like somebody up there doesn’t want me to be happy. Life sucks, I have gotten used to it, but there are always the things that remind me of him and the things that made me happy.
They say you become insane when everything in your world has shattered into tiny little pieces. I guess that is true. They say sometimes people around you can pick up the pieces, but other times you need that one person that broke you to pieces to pick them up. They say you need someone that you have a connection with to pick them up. I always had a connection with him, so why can’t he pick them up? Why can’t he come and safe me from myself? Maybe because he isn’t coming back, but maybe because he didn’t fight to be with me.
When they took me here everyone looked at me like I was a freak. I was just sitting in silence. It’s how I made it through. If I talked there would have been a great chance that I would have cried my heart out, and continued crying until I fell asleep. So I waited until I was given a room and then I cried. I didn’t stop, not even when they asked if I was alright. Not even when they told me I had visitors. I just cried and cried. I needed him and he left me. It was like my whole world had shattered to tiny little pieces and there was no one to bring all the pieces together. That was his job, he said he would always be with me or be there for me, but obviously he isn’t. He is not coming back. He is not going to visit me, and I don’t know how many times I have been told that everything will be alright but I know it isn’t going to be alright. I don’t have him next to me. I don’t have him to hold me, and I don’t have him to kiss me to sleep.
Sometimes I dream about him. We are in America, and he is showing me where he grew up. It’s New York and he picks up the snow and throw’s it at me. He missed but he looks so adorable so I run up to him and kiss him, and that’s when he asks me to marry him. I say yes, of course, but we have to go to some other state to get married because it still isn’t legal in New York. We travel to Las Vegas where it is nice and warm. It is definitely a change of scenery. We go straight away to the chapel and he doesn’t care what we are wearing. He tells me as long as we are together he doesn’t care. The priest marries us and we are officially each other’s partners forever. It is an amazing feeling. We end up coming back to Australia and that’s when I wake up. I never get to find out if we adopt children or if we live happily ever after like in fairytales. The dream just ends. It ends like my life.
I wish I could change what happened. I wish I could change this moment. I wish I could go back in time and tell him to be careful. I wish I could have stopped his real family. It was like they didn’t care about him. Like they wanted him gone forever. I never wanted that. I wanted him to be with me until the end of time. Until we laid our heads together and drifted off together. I wanted us to be buried next to each other, like forbidden lovers should. Like Romeo and Juliet did. I know it sounds so cliché but its how I wanted it to be. I wanted us to be everything I have ever dreamed of. Except that isn’t going to happen now. I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. I will only have my father and my siblings to look after me. Not the love of my life. My life sucks. I hate it.
One more thing I wish. I wish I would have died instead of Aaron Parks, the love of my life. I wish me, Skylar Tucker, died.