What Happens When They Leave You.

I don’t know how long I have been lying on the floor of my room. I have lost track of time. All I know is that this carpet is really really soft. It reminds me of a really big soft teddy bear that little kids would usually hug to get to sleep at night, or a teddy bear that young children would take everywhere with them. I remember I used to have this teddy bear when I was about two years old. I would take it everywhere I went. It never went out of my grasp, I always had it with me, but one day I lost it. According to Dad, I was completely lost without it. It had become my best friend. I loved it so much, and then it was just gone. Apparently I cried for days after I lost it and I wouldn’t let Dad go anywhere because he was the only other person there. I remember him telling me that he probably when to another little boy that needed him more than me that put my little self at ease. I smiled at the memory, things were so easy back then, and sometimes I wish I was little again.
“Ah, he is alive,” I jumped a bit at the voice and looked up. It was a young doctor. He looked like he was in his early twenties. I sat up and straightened my hair. It was probably going into all different directions, making me look like a clown.
“I’m Doctor Lane. You must be Skylar. Young Ryley sent me in here because he said he couldn’t get you to talk, and thought I would be able to,” he smiled softly.
“A-are you the doctor that is really nice?” my voice croaked. It sounded like I have been dehydrated for the last couple of hours. He walked over to my bedside table and poured some water into a cup. They seemed to always supply you with water at this place. It was weird.
“Here you go buddy,” he softly said as he sat back down next to me.
“Thank you,” I mumbled quietly. I took a sip and put it next to me. I started to drum my fingers along the brim of the cup. I normally do this when I get nervous.
“Can I ask you a question?” Dr. Lane asked.
“Only if you answer mine,” I softly whispered. I don’t think he even heard me.
“I think I’m the nice doctor, well that’s what Ryley says anyway,” he chuckled. I looked up at him and smiled. I’m glad he was the nice one.
“So I can ask my question now?” He asked again. Since when do doctors ask your permission to as questions.
“What happened at group therapy?” he asked.
“The nurse person was pushing me to tell the group why I am here and I didn’t want to. So I went off and stormed out,” I explained, looking down and fiddling with the end of my shirt when I got to the end of my sentence. He probably thinks I’m some immature teenage boy.
“What did she say?” he didn’t seem like a doctor. He just seemed like a regular guy. He wasn’t like any other doctor I have meant before.
“She said that if I didn’t tell anyone I couldn’t get better,” I sighed and closed my eyes. I breathed deeply. The only thing in the world that I wanted was to get better. I could live with Dad again if I got better.
“Buddy, I know you don’t want to tell anyone but could you possibly tell me what happened? You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he added. I have only really told Ryley. The people that knew me already knew and I didn’t have to tell anyone else. No one really asked, but know someone was. What if I didn’t have the strength to tell him? What if I just broke down and looked like a baby that cries all the time?
“Can’t you just read my file or something?” I asked. They have that stuff on file.
“I could, but I don’t want to. I want to hear it from you, your point of view,” he explained. I swear this guy wasn’t a doctor.
“Okay, I’ll tell you,” I took a deep breath and started my story.” About a month or two ago my boyfriend and I were in a car crash. It was horrible. He instantly lost his life. I remember I was screaming the whole time. I just wanted him back. I had terribly nightmares, and I wouldn’t go anywhere near a car. I was petrified. Dad needed to go places and he couldn’t with me like I was. I did try to kill myself a few times and it got too much for Dad, so he put me in here,” I breathed shakily. I tried not to let tears fall down, but once again I failed at that. Tears slowly fell down my cheek.
“What was his name?” he asked softly.
“A-aaron,” I stuttered. Stupid crying making me stutter. He smiled softly at me and got me a tissue. He was beyond nice. Most of the other people here would have told me toughen up.
“Thank you Doctor Lane,” I whispered.
“Skylar call me Jay, I think Doctor is too formal,” he smiled and sat next to me.
“Okay Jay,” I smiled softly.
I liked Jay. He was definitely too human to be in a place like this. Everyone else that worked here were horrible. They didn’t care about you or why you were here, they just wanted to get their days work over with. I wish there were more people like him that worked here.