Status: One-shot.
I Don't Want to Be
Anything Other Than Me
The snickering. The laughing. It was all I could hear. Another wrong answer, the teacher’s steady stare. More of the taunting from my classmates. It’s not my fault I’m not smart. I just never got a chance. So I just don’t care. The chuckles follow me through the hallway; they follow me long after my classmates have forgotten my stupid mistakes. But still they follow me.
I’m tired of all of these self-absorbed, hormone-crazed social climbers telling me how to be me. I can’t stand it. Sometimes I even think about leaving, running away from this town. This tiny, god-forsaken town, settled snug between two mountain ranges, and all but forgotten. Everyone knows everyone here, unfortunately for me. Like I said, it’s not my fault I never had a chance in this stupid little town. All of these fakes and pretenders that are smothering me. Not even a chance.
My legs ache from the cold, but if I stop, I won’t be able to get home. My guardian is working and my parents…not so much. There’s only so much you can do, buried six feet under the stars.
I sigh, my breath opaque in the air. Not a chance to ever be me. Smothered since before I even started school. I ignore the shuffling behind me, keep walking. Probably just another loose pet. Cats, dogs, no one cares around here. Everyone knows everyone.
I feel a tug on my book bag, and then cool cement on my cheek. Loud voices tower over me, for the second time this week. You would think that they would get bored of this crap after sixteen years. Not a chance…never a chance.
The voices taunt me, slap me around. I can’t feel the cement after a couple of encounters, but I feel each and every blow. There’s chain link at me back, rattling, laughing. Finally they let me go, continue on their way. I just can’t escape them, not here, not ever.
No one ever gives you a chance when your parents die in a car wreck, and the sheriff says they OD. It’s obvious crap, and everyone knows it. But question Dear Sheriff, the saint that he is? Never. The whole town knew he had it out for my dad.
I spin on my heel. Laughter. Someone’s laughing again. I can’t stand the noise. I run, my book bag bouncing on my back. I reach home, out of breath, and back probably bruised. I collapse on the floor.
Fingers pointing, eyes shining with cruelty. There are spinning faces, they all blend into one. Mine. Get out, it says, leave. Before they kill you, like they killed your parents. I scream, close my eyes. But I have to leave. I can’t keep walking around wearing this dunce cap, this shame, for the rest of my life. It’s not worth it, not anymore. Slowly, shakily, I rise to my feet. My knees almost touch, they’re quivering so hard.
Teeth chattering, I drop my bag on the floor. Open the back door. Head for the woods. Everywhere I go…they will be there: the liars, the cheats. No wonder my parents tried to leave. Ate the edge of town I stop. There’s only pavement ahead, for who knows how long. I don’t know where I’m going, only where I’m coming from.
I can’t stay here, though. I have to get out. Think of me, and my peace of mind. My chance. I was never given one here. Tired of people telling me who I am, and who I’m supposed to be. Suffocated form childhood. Now, I’m telling everybody. But I have got to get out of here first.
I take two steps, see a light, hear a crash. Feel nothing, see nothing. I’m out of here.
Forever.
I’m tired of all of these self-absorbed, hormone-crazed social climbers telling me how to be me. I can’t stand it. Sometimes I even think about leaving, running away from this town. This tiny, god-forsaken town, settled snug between two mountain ranges, and all but forgotten. Everyone knows everyone here, unfortunately for me. Like I said, it’s not my fault I never had a chance in this stupid little town. All of these fakes and pretenders that are smothering me. Not even a chance.
My legs ache from the cold, but if I stop, I won’t be able to get home. My guardian is working and my parents…not so much. There’s only so much you can do, buried six feet under the stars.
I sigh, my breath opaque in the air. Not a chance to ever be me. Smothered since before I even started school. I ignore the shuffling behind me, keep walking. Probably just another loose pet. Cats, dogs, no one cares around here. Everyone knows everyone.
I feel a tug on my book bag, and then cool cement on my cheek. Loud voices tower over me, for the second time this week. You would think that they would get bored of this crap after sixteen years. Not a chance…never a chance.
The voices taunt me, slap me around. I can’t feel the cement after a couple of encounters, but I feel each and every blow. There’s chain link at me back, rattling, laughing. Finally they let me go, continue on their way. I just can’t escape them, not here, not ever.
No one ever gives you a chance when your parents die in a car wreck, and the sheriff says they OD. It’s obvious crap, and everyone knows it. But question Dear Sheriff, the saint that he is? Never. The whole town knew he had it out for my dad.
I spin on my heel. Laughter. Someone’s laughing again. I can’t stand the noise. I run, my book bag bouncing on my back. I reach home, out of breath, and back probably bruised. I collapse on the floor.
Fingers pointing, eyes shining with cruelty. There are spinning faces, they all blend into one. Mine. Get out, it says, leave. Before they kill you, like they killed your parents. I scream, close my eyes. But I have to leave. I can’t keep walking around wearing this dunce cap, this shame, for the rest of my life. It’s not worth it, not anymore. Slowly, shakily, I rise to my feet. My knees almost touch, they’re quivering so hard.
Teeth chattering, I drop my bag on the floor. Open the back door. Head for the woods. Everywhere I go…they will be there: the liars, the cheats. No wonder my parents tried to leave. Ate the edge of town I stop. There’s only pavement ahead, for who knows how long. I don’t know where I’m going, only where I’m coming from.
I can’t stay here, though. I have to get out. Think of me, and my peace of mind. My chance. I was never given one here. Tired of people telling me who I am, and who I’m supposed to be. Suffocated form childhood. Now, I’m telling everybody. But I have got to get out of here first.
I take two steps, see a light, hear a crash. Feel nothing, see nothing. I’m out of here.
Forever.