The Moons' Call

As I watch Jacob disappear back into the darkening forest, tears flood to the brim and fall down my cheeks. I wanted so badly to tell him how I felt…to tell him that I…that I had…feelings for him.

Clutching my chest in pain I fall to my knees, unable to stay up from the sting pumping from my heart and through my veins. A dismal cry coming off my lips when I hear footsteps coming towards me.

It sounded like a four legged animal, so immediately I thought Jacob had come back to me…but I felt slight disappointment when I saw the sandy coat, wiry frame, and innocent face of Seth.

He came trotting right up to me, a sad look in his eyes as more tears stream down my cheeks. No words came to me as I gingerly pet the top of his head. Seth whined but leaned into my affectionate touch. Even after just meeting him, I felt like he was my own little brother.

Seth whined softly, nudging me towards the house.

I hadn’t noticed that I was shaking horribly. Even my teeth were chattering.

“I-I’m fine, Seth…” I lied. I had a horrible feeling that something was going to happen to the boys…to Jacob....

He huffed and shook his wolfy head. Looking me straight in the face as he sat before me.

“Oh? You don’t believe me?” It took a bit of energy to keep from stuttering. Whining, his cute ears flattened against his head, something changed in the status of the pack.

Whimpering and muttering yelps he looked back and forth, standing and beginning to pace. His high bark startled me when he focused those brown eyes on me.

“What’s wrong?” My voice was strangled, new tears streaming down my cheeks when there was an abrupt agonizing howl that echoed throughout the forest.

“Jacob!?” I scream, knowing without a doubt that it was him. Seth jumped in my way before I could randomly run through the woods to look for him.

“Jacob!!!!” My voice was a high pitched shriek that got even Emily’s attention. She came running out of the house in a hurry, taking one glance at Seth before moving onto me. My eyes frantic and searching for a way around the wiry beige wolf that stood in my way.

“Astra, what’s going on?” She asked, holding me back to relieve Seth from blocking my way like a goalie blocking a soccer ball. But I couldn’t answer her question, my sobs choking my voice box.

“Shh, shh…calm down and tell me what’s wrong…” She soothed, rubbing gentle circles on my back, my head buried into my hands as more cries and tears escaped.

With a yip and nudge from Seth, Emily ushered me into the house. Grabbing a towel on the way up to my room, where she proceeded to dry my damp hair and clothes off.

By this time I had stopped my uncontrollable crying and resorted to sniffling. She suggested that I change my clothes, but I refused…they smelled like rotting foliage, rain, slight must, wood chips, and pine. It was Jacob’s scent....I didn’t want to forget that smell, scared that if I did he might really be gone.

I never did tell Em why I was sobbing so hard, I fell asleep shortly after my clothes had fully dried. No blankets covered me, all that surrounded me with warmth was Jacob’s wolfy aroma and it gave me free passage to a soft slumber.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Without knowing it, I had slept through the night and into the morning of my birthday. Groaning, I got out of bed and grabbed a pair of black jeans, a ruffled cream colored tank top, and headed toward the bathroom for a shower.

This was usually my morning routine for getting ready for school. It was when I was rinsing out the conditioner in my hair that it suddenly came to me....Jacob and the events from yesterday afternoon rushing back in huge waves of memory.

Quickly, I jump out of the shower, dry off, and change before running downstairs. Tripping face first on my own feet right into the living/dining room.

Everyone minus Jacob and Leah were there, a clump of multicolored balloons were tied to a weight on the table next to a stack of chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream spelling my name. The boys surrounded the table, some holding presents while others raised their hands in the air as a motion of surprise. Emily stood next to Sam with a now worried expression as she came to my side.

“Astra, are you alright?” She asked, helping me sit up right. Shaking the fall from my head, I turn towards her before scanning the boy’s faces.

“Jacob…where’s Jacob?” Came my surprisingly demanding voice, Embry and Quil and Seth reacted the most. The rest just kind of acted as if I hadn’t said anything other than ‘I’m fine’.

“Where is he!?” I shout louder, making Seth wince, which made me feel kind of pushy. But I was so anxious right now that it didn’t matter at the moment.

“He’s at home, Astra, said he was really tired.” Sam almost ordered his explanation onto me. As if there was nothing else other than what he said, to accept…as if I were part of his pack and his words meant more to me then just the words of my brother.

“He sent you this though…” Embry whispered placing a small box on the table. It was wrapped in newspaper with no bow, to me it was cute, but to others it may see cheap and offensive.

“If he was just tired he could have given this to me after school…” It reminded me of when the police officer gave me the single bag of toiletries my mom bought before she got in the accident. As if it were the last thing she would ever give me…or rather ‘the’ last thing she ever gave me.

Swallowing my tears I take the box into both of my hands, scared to open it. Scared to accept that this may be the only thing Jacob Black will give me.

“He has patrol with Quil all day.” Sam points out, watching me with a solemn expression. Trying to keep any emotion that may tip me off that something was wrong off his face.

But it was a little too late for that. Somehow, I already knew something grave had happened. What that something was, was still a mystery.

“Don’t lie to me.” I snap, turning to glare up at him. My hands quivering as I grip the present. Like it was the only lifeboat on a burning, sinking ship.

“Astra—” Spinning around I force my glowering eyes upon Emily, who flinched slightly.

“He wouldn’t miss today....Don’t ask me why…he just wouldn’t.” I cry, holding his gift to my pounding chest. With each hard beat came a pulsing ache.

“Sam, it’s not right to keep her in the dark.” Emily whispered, touching his tattooed bicep. Taking a deep breath he nodded and turned to face me directly.

“I’m sure you heard the howl yesterday…Seth told us you were rather frantic in getting to Jake.” I simply look to the side, my face getting a bit hot under everyone’s eyes.

“He got hurt…He lost his focus and went after the parasite that could mimic noises and got himself into a one sided fight....” Sam’s voice showed annoyance and I couldn’t help but feel like this was all my fault, and to be purely honest…it was.

If it weren’t for me then everyone wouldn’t have to be out there hunting for those vampires. No one would be hurt and they would all be happy and going on with their lives.

“H-How badly…?” I whimper, refusing to look up into Sam’s eyes anymore. The unshed tears stung at the corners of my eyes, so I kept them shut to hold in my sniveling.

“We had to call Dr. Cullen to come down here and fix him up.” He explained grimly, clearly hating the idea of even a friendly vampire coming onto Quileute land. It brought up the question of the treaty, but I pushed it aside and shrunk back towards the hallway.

“Both sides of his ribs were shattered, his arm dislocated, there’s scratched all over him, and he’s all bandaged up.” Quil murmured, looking at the weight on the table. The only thing keeping my balloons from flying away…and it felt like it was also keeping me from shriveling up and disappearing.

“The doc said the scratches are so deep that they probably won’t heal until tomorrow.” He added, without looking at me. I hoped none of them hated me for being the cause of their pack mates injured state.

“I have to see him…” I whimper, I had to apologize, to make it up to him somehow.

“I have to go see him!” I yell, running for the door, the gift still in my clutches as I throw on my rain jacket. I was about to yank the truck door open when Sam placed his excessively warm hand over mine.

“Calm down, Astra, he doesn’t want to see you.” His cold words beat me back and away from the old truck. It felt like the whole world had stopped, like my heart had ceased pumping blood through my veins…that the air in my lungs was now fire, scorching me from the inside out.

He hated me…he blamed me…he didn’t want to see me.

Hot tears mixed in with the rain pelting my exposed face. Had his birthday present to me been a farewell gift? Was it an empty box where I could place my throbbing heart into before tossing it into the fire?

“I…I want to see him…even if he doesn’t want to see me…” I whisper earnestly, it was the truth. Even if he hates me, I had to apologize and see him one last time. Then I wouldn’t bother him anymore…I’d try to forget him…Try to be invisible....

Sighing deeply, Sam opened the driver’s side door. Jingling the keys in his big hand before hopping in. I follow suit and nervously wait for us to arrive at the Black’s home.

Upon our arrival, I practically jump out of the moving vehicle and bolt towards the front door. Not taking in the sight of Jacob’s home around me. As I knock on the white door and wait for someone to answer, Sam parks the truck and makes his way to my side.

I glance anxiously up at my brother’s blank face before looking back at the door. My arms shaking impatiently when the door finally opened, revealing an older man in a wheel chair with long black hair and tanned skin. He resembled Jacob in more then one way, so, he must be his father.

“Sam, did you come to check-up on Jake?” His raspy voice was unmistakable, this was Billy Black, the man I spoke with on the phone before being passed onto his son.

“Actually, Billy, Astra wants to see him.” Sam muttered, putting his hand on my shoulder in an encouraging manor.

“I see, well, he’s sleeping right now but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you visiting, my dear.” Billy smiled and moved aside for me to get in.

This house was about the same size of Sam’s place, maybe a tiny bit smaller, either way I easily find Jacob’s room. I walk swiftly, coming to a dead stop when I view the petite room belonging to the russet colored wolf boy.

He lay, asleep, on a twin sized bed. Looking like a sweet innocent child who had outgrown their crib long ago.

Considering it was my first and last time being in his room, I took the opportunity to look around. But perhaps I was just putting off the inevitable examination of his injuries…

His room in general was kind of plain, but the small hand made carvings on the window sill above his bed caught my eye, assorted change scattered next to one carving that looked like a wolf howling.

Aside from his bed, there was a built in closet, a small desk, and a randomly placed door in the back allowed him easy access to the forest surrounding his home. On the walls were few pictures but something told me the ones up were either his favorites or intensely important.

With wary hands, I shut the door behind me and take off my jacket before sitting on the floor next to the bed. At first, I stubbornly fought the urge to look at his wounded body…because I knew that when I did I would burst into more tears.

I had spent almost all of yesterday in my emotionally hurt state, realizing I cared so deeply for Jacob then figuring he could never like me back, had caused that embarrassing moment in my life. After all, he loved Bella more than anyone…

At a snails pace I begin looking at his wrongly ill-treated flesh and bones. His right arm was bandaged from the shoulder to his elbow, guiltily glad I couldn’t see why it was covered. My eyes move back down to his torso and ribs, they were taped tightly like a second skin. Declining to look at his face just yet, I look at his right arm, it had been carefully wrapped from shoulder to wrist…that must be the arm that was dislocated…

Fresh tears stung at my eyes, biting the inside of my cheek, I managed to fight them off. That is before I looked at Jacob’s face. There were five long claw markings down the left side of his face, dragging across and down the right half of his face and neck.

Though the scratches were healing faster then any humans could, they were still there…It enraged me well past the limit of return how those vampires could inflict such injuries on Jacob. I wanted to hurt them worse then they had him…I wanted to kill them.

With shaky arms, I grind my teeth and sob into my raised knees, letting a small noise of hurt out at the mere memory of his howling. Unable to keep the loud sobs in any longer, I release them, crying hard and on the brink of hyperventilation. With a rustle and something hot being placed on my head I look up. Seeing Jacob sit up right with his hand on top of my head.

“Princesses shouldn’t cry over their knights getting hurt.” He muttered through a yawn that pained him enough to wince.

“So, why are you here? I thought I told Sam not to let you see me.” This time I wince, my breathing still unstable as more tears fall. But he waited patiently for my reply.

“It’s all my fault!!!” I shout into my arms, he sighed lightly while pushing some of my hair out of my face with gentle fingers.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Princess. I was careless. I got angry and lost my concentration.” He explained nonchalantly, pulling his hand away and plopping onto his back. Staring at the ceiling.

“Y-You don’t have to be s-such a jerk!” I snap, flushing red while wiping tears from my eyes and face with the back of my hands.

“I don’t mean to be a jerk…I just don’t want you to blame yourself. It really wasn’t your fault.” He murmured, turning his head to look me sincerely in the eye. Those sweet chocolate eyes gazed at me and I blushed again.

“You can blame me a little…if it weren’t for me…y-you…you wouldn’t be in such bad condition.” I whimper, more tears beginning to fill my eyes to the brim before spilling over. The simple thought of losing Jacob…having him die…never seeing him again, his smile, the way he laughed, how he teased me…all of it…there are no words how I would feel if he wasn’t near me anymore.

“Princess?” His deep voice brought me back to reality where I was touching his injured ribs with a light as air pressure. The feel of the gauze and tape under my fingertips felt unusually painful. Like it was made of burrs rather then cotton.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were worried about me.” Flushing darker, I use my hair as a curtain to hide the truth from him.

“And if I was, that would make you laugh, right?” No reply made me look at him. His expression was that of surprise, his eyes wide and jaw slightly slack with his lips parted.

“…Astra…do you…?” His question fades when he shakes his head, by some means getting ride of the rest of the words on his tongue. Narrowing my eyes I stare at him, waiting for him to finish that question. His eyes lower from mine, looking at my discarded jacket.

“So, Embry did give you my present…you brought it back…” Jacob’s voice softened with disappointment, as did his eyes turn from hope to dejection.

“I haven’t even opened it yet.” I reassure, retrieving it and placing it in my lap.

“I didn’t want to open it without you in the room.” I whisper, staring at the newspaper wrapping.

“Well, go ahead....Happy birthday, Princess.” His voice regained that rough amusement that I grew to adore. A small smile spread across my lips as I peeled off the paper and took the lid off the small white box. Carefully pushing aside the white tissue paper, my eyes fell upon a pretty leather braided bracelet.

“Oh my god…” Were the only words that so happened to leave my mouth, gingerly taking the leather bracelet out to examine it at eye level.

“Do you like it? It took me forever to find the nerve to get to work on it again…” He trailed off at the end, I had the feeling he wanted to explain the deeper meaning behind this simple yet intricate gift.

“Wait, you made this?” He nods once, scanning my face for any sign of displeasure but all he could have possibly seen was shock and absolute delight.

He had taken his time to make this, it must have been hard. I can hardly make a smiley face let alone a bracelet. I could almost see him getting frustrated and deciding to give up for the day before getting renewed energy to advance his work in the morning.

“Thank you so much, Jacob, it’s beautiful.” I whisper, wanting to hug him but stopped when I remembered his injuries. It was quiet for a while after that, I put up the façade of still looking at my present while he stared intently at my face.

“It’s not polite to stare.” I muse without so much as indicating a movement in his direction.

“Sorry…I was just thinking…” He whispered, turning his head to look up at the ceiling once again.

With a furrowed brow I scoot closer to his bedside. He glanced in my direction with a small smile. Something had happened to him…something that made him softer then before.

Flushing pink, I raise a shaky hand to caress his wounded cheek, hoping that my careful touches didn’t hurt. The noise that came from him resembled that of when he was a wolf and I was scratching behind his ears, a soft grumbling sound of pleasure.

Without knowing it, tears prickled and slid down my cheeks.

“I could have lost…my…” I couldn’t continue, it hurt too much to think of his rejection of my feelings.

“You know…it’s kind of an old Quileute tradition to give these bracelets as a version of a promise ring. I had to ask my dad how to make one....It was kind of embarrassing to tell him that it was for a girl.” He paused before looking me straight in the eyes.

“For a stubbornly, sweet girl that I fell for.” I could have sworn my heart stopped beating, the used up oxygen in my lungs burning from holding it in too long, my hands trembling, eyes wide…cheeks flushed. All the while with Jacob being completely and utterly serious.

“Jacob, do you—” My words were cut off when he leans forward and pecks me on the forehead. Winking before he pushes me back slightly with his index finger.

“Words always complicate things for me…” He struggles with his words while my heart beats a mile a second. My chest rising and falling with quick, uneven breathes.

“…I’m not as smooth as I want to be when I talk to you…Like…how Cullen is with Bella…” The mention of her name felt like a cold glass of water being thrown at me, but he continues despite my thrown expression.

“…Astra…” He whispered caressing my sullen face, maybe he was just teasing me again. The feeling of relief that had once washed over me at the thought of him feeling the way I feel for him was slowly receding.

“Where are you going with this, Jacob? Are you trying to mock me or something?” I hiss through clenched teeth, my head hurt from the pressure, my heart hurt from anticipating his answer.

“What are you talking about? Mock you!? I’m being totally serious, Astra!” He roared in offense.

“Why the hell would I make you a promise bracelet as a joke?...I would never ever hurt my Imprint like that.” He whispered with smoldering eyes, dark and passionate as he moved his hand down my cheek and to my neck. Never breaking eye contact when he pushed his forehead to mine.

The heat was comforting yet distressing at the same time. I wanted him to like me because he got to know me…not because of some impulse based upon his wolf instinct.

“You’re upset…why?” He says, while I pull away from his pleasant touch.

“I want you to like me because I’m me, not because of some Imprinting whim…” I whisper staring at the floor, the bed next to me shifting under his weight as he sits up right again.

“Is that what you think Imprinting is? Didn’t you say that Paul explained it to you?” I nod warily causing him to sigh.

“He said that it was a kind of impulse that urged him to be with River…that he didn’t have a choice between me and her…” I whimper, feeling my stomach bubble with irrational emotions. I didn’t want him to be forced to be with me…even though I desperately need him.

“Wow, Paul sure went vague in explaining it to you.” He grumbled, reaching towards me he cups my chin in his big hand, forcing me to look up at him.

“To be honest with you, Princess, I kind of just found out that I had Imprinted on you. It’s supposed to be one of those ‘moments’ when you see ‘the one’. I felt a spark when we first met…but I brushed it off…too absorbed in trying to convince myself that Bella could still be mine.” I wanted to pull away, but he wouldn’t let me. Subtly, he began pulling me closer and up towards him more. My hands on his knees as he speaks again.

“So, I guess, it’s not pure impulse for me. I love you even more now that I got to know you, Astra. You’re so stubborn and rational that it drives me up the wall sometimes…but I wouldn’t have you without them. Just think of my Imprinting on you as me finally figuring out that you’re the only one for me…that you’re the only thing holding me to Earth. My gravity…my heart…my life.” He whispered into my ear, sensually nuzzling into the crook of my neck.

“I’d be anything for you…everything for you…I can’t go without seeing you everyday. If I don’t then my entire boy aches with need. I can’t hold it back anymore…I just love you.” I couldn’t say anything, tears of pure joy brimming and ready to fall. He interpreted my silence as something else because he pulled away to face me.

“I’ll stay away if that’s what you wish…I don’t want to make you cry anymore.” Shaking my head violently, I place a hand on his chest, still unable to speak.

“I want to be where you are, Jacob…all the time…Everyday, all the time!” I sob, holding my face in my hands as shameful cries fill the room.

“…I thought you wanted Paul…” I quickly snap my head up to look at his somewhat alleviated smile.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you when I found out…Why I didn’t freak out when you told me about him kissing you. I wanted you to be happy and I thought you where when you were with him. You smiled so brightly…you laughed so much…Both seemed rare when you were with me.” His dark eyes turned sullen like a child who was pouting after being told no.

Giggling, I smile up at him. We had been going around each other in attempts to make each other happy with other people. He thought I was happiest with Paul. Which wasn’t exactly right, I loved Paul, he was sweet to me and kind. He had felt more like a brother then lover. I thought Jacob would be happiest with Bella. That even though she was totally in love with Edward that she could still make Jacob happier then I ever could.

“See? I smile and laugh around you too, Jake.” Before I could catch it, the nickname slipped off my tongue and lips. My hand slapped over my gaping mouth, it had been a little too early for me to be calling him that.

He stares at me in shock, wide eyes and parted lips that slowly turned into an approving smile. He chuckled lowly along side me as time passed…this had to be one of my top ten favorite birthdays of my seventeen years of life.

“Can you say it again?” He muttered through aching chuckles, his ribs still sore.

“Jake…?” I whisper, still unsure if it was alright to be calling him that. It kind of felt like calling your teacher by their first name…His smile grew while he laced our fingers together, kissing the back of my hand before placing it on his beating chest.