Bitter sweetness

“Honey you look beautiful.” She whispered in my ear. She wrapped her around around me in an encouraging manor. “I know you'll do great, you've done this a million times. Amaze the crowd just like you amaze me everyday.” She whispered once again before letting go of me and leaving me alone back stage of my high school. I watch her small figure walk away from me as a take a deep breath and wait for my name to be called.

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My hand trembles has I take a strong grip on the door handle.

I take the courage to push it open and gasp at the sight of the strong women I use to remember. I hear a loud sob and uncontrollable tears start running down my face. I walk closer to her, to see if this women could possibly be the strong women I always looked up to. I gently touch her hand, afraid of hurting her. Her skin has turned into an unnatural color.

“Joann”

She breathed. Taken back I look down at her face. “I'll always be with you. Please don't hate be for leaving you, but I don't have anymore strength to fight.”She said before taking a loud sigh and closing her eyes with a single tear drop falling down. My entire body starts to shake as I hear the steady beep start. I collapse to the ground letting out every single emotion that was bottled up inside me out.

“Joann!” Scream's my father as he runs to my side as a group of nurses rush to the side of my mother.

“shh.” She whispered as he gently ran his hands up and down my back. I shake my head, telling him that its not okay. “She deserves to rest.” She says. Upon hearing this I push him away from me.

“She deserves to rest?” I scream in bewilderment. “Is that your excuse? Or is that what your telling her conscience to let you live down the fact that you cheated on her with that slut of a

girlfriend in her last days!” I screamed as I felt strong hands wrap around my arms holding me back. “She was getting better, but you killed all hope she had.” I spat out before someone pulled me out of the room.

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I wake up with a startled jolt. My back is killing me for sleeping bent down like I was.

My lip started to quiver as my brain started to realize what I had dreamed. Goose bumps instantly formed all over my arms. I stand up straight and shake off any memory of my mom and my dad. I walk over to the restroom and splash water on my face to take off my makeup. I untie my hair and tie it back up in a loose bun. I walk over to the closet near my desk and pull out an extra sweater I always keep for times when I get cold in the shop. I call a cab to take me home. When I enter my apartment I find Katie sleeping on the couch with the telephone clutched to her chest. I walk past her and head to my room. I pull out a bottle of sleeping pills from my left drawer and pop them in to my mouth and fall in a deep sleep.