For a Genius, You're Pretty Dumb

I woke up today trying to make myself believe that valentine's day was just another day. It wasn't. I did my morning routine the same as I always had.I drank my coffee, ate my breakfast, showered, and then I got dressed.

Today I didn't have work and I was meeting Derek and Garcia at a cafe. I got dressed in a high waisted light pink flounce skirt with a lighter pink ribbed tank top tucked in. I added a gold belt and gold heels.

I walked over to my jewelry cabinet. Yes, cabinet. As any female should, I have a lot of jewelry. Accessories MAKE the outfit. I picked up my mom's gold heart shaped necklace. I closed the clasp and looked in the mirror.

The chain was short and the charm was just on the hollow on my neck.

I winked at myself in the mirror and grabbed my makeup case which had wheels. It was as big as a suitcase and had a lot of compartments. I wheeled it next to my vanity and opened it up. I took out my pink and purple eye

shadow palette, mascara, and light pink lipstick. I didn't feel like messing around with eye liner.

After I finished putting on my make up, I went through my closet and found my light pink clutch purse and sat on my bed. I was just about to switch purses when the door bell rang. Who would be at my house at eight in the

morning? I was supposed to meet Derek and Garcia at the cafe. I guess they came to get me instead.

I unlocked the door and pulled it open expecting to see Derek. Instead, standing in front of me was a teenage boy, no older than seventeen. He was tall and lanky with dark brown hair and acne all over his face. He was

holding a bouquet of red roses.

Oh, man. Is this kid trying to make a pass at me?

"Can I help you?" I asked in what I hoped was a courteous voice.

It took him a few seconds to reply. "Uh, some guy told me to give these to you. Alexandria Silver, right?" He stuttered.

"Yes," I said as I leaned in and extended my arms to accept the flowers.

"Who told you to give these to me?" I asked him, rather curious. Hehe. Someone gave me flowers. On Valentine's Day.

"Uh, I don't know," He muttered.

Hmm. I looked closely at his eyes. Glassy and bloodshot. I smelled the air around him. Grade A pot. Yep, this kids a pothead and stoned out of his mind. He's probably higher than Willie Nelson right now. Oh, I remember

those days.

"Um ... Thanks for bringing these ..."

"No problem," He said staring. And staring. Still staring. And then his gaze fell from my face to my chest.

Do I have something on my shirt? I looked down. Nothing. I then realized he was staring my cleavage.

"You little fucking pervert!" I scoffed as I slammed the door in his pimply face. Teenage boys these days.

I set the roses on the counter and went to the china cabinet to get a vase. I set the clear crystal vase on the counter and filled it halfway with water. Then I realized I forgot to look for a card to see who they were from.

I put the roses in the vase and picked the card out of them. I smiled. It was a pale lavender envelope. My favorite color. The anticipation was killing me. Who had sent me these? I took the card out of the envelope. It was

just a plain white card folded in half. I opened it and read:

"Happy Twentieth Anniversary. I can't wait to see you."

My eyes widened and my smile faded. My fingers went numb and the card slipped from my hands.

Panic. Pure, undiluted terror enveloped me as I ran to the door and locked it. I closed and locked every window and shut every curtain. My breathing was fast and uneven and I was shaking in my skin.

What am I going to do? I sat with my back against the door. I brought my knees up and put my head down. I am not safe. He found me. Just like I knew he someday would.

I got up and tried walking to the table. My legs were weak. I picked up my cell phone with a shaky hand and went to my emergency contacts. I found Derek's name and pressed send.

Of course, he answered on the first ring.

"What's good, Hot stuff?" he asked.

"Derek! I need you to get here now! Please! It's an emergency! Hurry up, please!"

"What is it, Allie? Are you okay?" He asked, worried.

"I'll tell you when you get here but I need you to hurry! Please!" I begged him.

"Are you hurt?" He asked me.

"No. I'm fine. Please just get here," I rushed him. I just don't feel safe.

"I'm leaving now," He said.

"Okay," I whispered, "Bye." And then he hung up.

I was so scared. So overwhelmed with fear. I started to cry. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. He didn't find me... I 'm safe. I wish.

I was so consumed with fear that I forgot Derek was on his way. The door bell rang and I jumped and clutched the knife I had been holding on to.

"Allie! It's Derek! Open up!"

Relief washed over me. Derek.

I ran to the door and threw it open.

"Allie! Whats wrong?" He asked as he held me.

I held on to him for the longest time. I didn't want to let go. I cried into his shoulder, and he let me. He helped me over to the couch and sat with me.

"Shh, don't cry, sweetie. I'm here now. It's gonna be okay. Tell me whats goin on," He cooed as he stroked my long blond tresses while I cried.

"Derek, he's going to kill me!"

He tensed up, stiff as a board.

"What? Who? Allie, who's going to hurt you?"

I tried to control the tears, and when I finally did stop crying I said in a whisper, "Derek, will you call everyone up and tell them to come here? I need to tell everyone whats going on."

"Okay," He nodded while letting go of me and pulling his phone from his pocket and dialing numbers.

"Hotch? ... Yeah, it's Derek ..... Can you call everyone and tell them to get to Allie's place? ... It's important .... No, she's fine .... Okay, bye," He hung up.

"Hotch is calling everyone," Derek informed me.

"Okay, I said, my voice cracking.

I sat with Derek on the couch trying to control my breathing before I had a panic attack.

When Hotch and everyone got here, Derek let them in and they all filed around me in my living room.

"Whats going on?" Hotch asked when he entered the room.

"I have to tell you guys what happened to be when I was nine years old. Then I have to tell you about the man who's after me," I said in a weak voice looking at each of them.

I sat in the middle of the couch with Spencer and Derek on either side of me. Elle and JJ sat on the love seat, and Garcia on the chaise. Hotch and Gideon stood directly in front of me, ready to the hear my story.

I took in a big breath of air and braced myself. Spencer grabbed my hand and I looked over at him. He gave me an encouraging smile. I smiled back at him and started my story.

"I was just a kid. Nine years old. I was the kind of kid who always loved the outdoors. I can remember the way the sun felt on my skin. And the smell of the water at the beach," I said, reminiscing my summer days back in

Louisiana. "I lived on base, my dad was in the ARMY, and there were a lot of other kids there, too. But when you have a parent in the ARMY, you don't stay in one place for too long. We had just moved there in June and

school was out. Sadly, my friends moved soon after, as they usually do. See, it's hard to keep friends when you move alot. We moved once a year. Fort Polk. That's where we were this year. Fort Polk, Louisiana." I was

looking at the ceiling of my apartment as I told my story. "Anyway, after my friends moved, I didn't have anyone to hang out with all day. The other kids were either too young or too old. I spent my days sitting around so my

mom decided to sign me up for swimming classes," I frowned as I said the last sentence. "My swim instructor told my parents I had potential. He said he never saw a swimmer in my age group as good as me. I stayed there

for a little over a month. It was almost mid July when my mom pulled me out. I refused to go back," I said remembering the whole conversation between me and my mom. "He gave me these bad vibes," I explained, "Even

when I was little I knew there was something about him that was off."

"What happened when you quit?"

I looked into Spencer's chocolate brown eyes and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"He called my house multiple times a day to try and get me to come back to class." This was the second time I ever told the whole story. The first time was to the cops. It's a hard story to tell, even now, twenty years later.

Biting my lip, I looked down then closed my eyes. I opened them again and scanned the room. Every one was focused on me. I could read their eyes. So full of concern, empathy, and some of them: love. I sighed and

continued, "My parents got our number changed after a week. Then one day, I was walking to the bus and I saw him. He was sitting in his car. Watching me. He was WATCHING me!" I took a deep breath and went on, "I

went home and told my parents. My dad was so angry. He called him and threatened him. He told him that if he ever came near me again, he'd drive up to his house with a baseball bat and bash his head in. The next few

weeks, I'd see him at random places. I never told my parents because when my dad was screaming in the phone, I was so scared." I closed me eyes again and gripped Spencer's hand a little tighter. I continued my story,

"One night, I was staying at a friends house and I forgot my sleeping bag so her mom drove me home to pick it up. She sat in the car while I went into the house. Even before I got to the door, I knew something was

seriously wrong. I opened the front door and everything was ... chaotic. Blood was .... Everywhere," I was sobbing now. Completely hysterical.

"Hey," Spencer started, "You don't have to-"

"Yes, I do," I cut him off, "I need to finish."

It took me a while to calm down enough to finish, but it really helped when Derek put his arm around me and when Spencer started tracing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

I took another deep breath and started again, "I ran upstairs and into my bedroom. I saw him in there, standing over my mother. She was beaten and bloody, but she was still alive. She looked at me and that's when ... That's

when he ...."

Another deep breath.

".. When he killed her," I whispered.

I took my hand from Spencer's and put my head in my hands. I don't want to finish. But I have to. I lifted my head and grabbed Spencer's hand again.

"I was frozen in fear. I couldn't move. I remember, I willed my legs to move. To carry me out the door so that maybe my friends mom could help me. He turned around and smiled when he saw me. His smile, it was crude.

And the look in his eyes, it was meant for a lover. I knew that night that I was going to die. I remember that he was talking to me. I couldn't make out what he was saying because my heart racing was droning out the sound of

his voice. He came at me and of course, I ran. But my legs couldn't get me away fast enough and he grabbed me. He pulled me over to my bed and ..." I stopped. Could I finish this story? It took the cops days to get me to

tell them the whole story, will I be able to tell them the end?

I looked across the room at Garcia. I didn't want her to hear the rest. She's got such an innocent, pure heart and every day she has to see these horrifying images on her computer and she still manages to shine bright. She

looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Penelope, you can leave the room if you'd like. You don't need to hear this," I said smiling at her.

"No, it's okay. I can take it. Go on," she said. I could hear her voice cracking.

I sighed and started where I left off, "He pulled me over to the bed and started taking off my top. I was hysterical. Screaming. Crying. Hitting. After he got my top halfway over my head, the front door opened. I could see

that he didn't know what to do. He was caught. He grabbed the knife that was in my mom's chest and st .... stabbed me ... He stabbed me six times. I remember the pain. It was the worst pain I've ever felt. After he did it,

he opened my bed room window and climbed down the lattice. That was when my friends mom walked in. She screamed and called the police. She held me until the ambulance got there."

I looked at everyone. Hotch's face was relatively calm, but when I looked in his eyes I could tell he was angry. JJ and Elle looked horrified. I looked at Garcia, who was in tears.

"Oh, honey, no. Don't cry," I said walking over to her and hugging her.

"I can't believe someone could do that to you," She said in between sobs.

"It's okay, Sweetie, I'm here and I'm fine," I said, still hugging her.

"But what happened today?" Gideon asked.

That brought me back. I went rigid in Garcia's arms. I forgot all about the roses and the message from HIM. I untangled myself from Garcia and got the vase of flowers and the note.

"I got a delivery of roses and found this note on them," I said handing Gideon the note.

"They didn't find him?"

I turned to look at Spencer.

"No, they didn't."

Spencer looked down at his lap.

"Hey," Derek started as he stood up, "Don't look so grim. If he really is back, we won't let anything happen to you. We'll get him." Derek always was the optimistic one.

"Do you remember his name?" Elle asked.

I frowned.

"I'll never forget him. He stole my childhood."

"Who was he?" JJ asked.

Everyone looked at me.

"His name is Alan Garrett," I said, looking away.

Just saying his name made me feel dirty, like cheap filth.

"I can't ... I can't talk about this anymore. I'm sorry," I said as I got up and rushed into the bathroom.

"Allie," I heard Derek call for me.

When I didn't answer, he tried again.

"Derek, I can't talk about it anymore. I'm done."

"Allie, please just come out," He tried for a third time.

"I can't ... Will you please just tell everyone to leave?"

I heard him walk down the hallway but I couldn't hear what he was saying. The door to my apartment opened and closed. Derek walked back and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Are you ready to come out?"

"No," I whispered.

He sighed and said to someone else, "You try."

"Derek? I thought I told you to make everyone leave? Who's still here?"

"Allie? Can you please come out?"

"Spencer?"

"Yes," He replied. "Will you please come out?"

"No," I answered.

"Then can I come in?" He asked.

I bit on my bottom lip and put my hand on the door knob then paused.

"Please?"

I turned the door knob and let him in. He sat Indian style across from me.

"Why don't you want to come out, Allie?"

I closed my eyes and turned my head away from him.

"I feel ashamed," I said quietly.

"Ashamed? Ashamed of what?" He asked.

"Of what he did to me," I answered.

"Allie, you were nine years old. You didn't have any control over him and what he did."

"But I-"

He grabbed my hands and cut me off, "You did what you needed to do.You survived. You're still here today. That's all that matters."

I was playing with his hands when I finally said, "I can't let go. Do you know what he did to me?"

I let go of his hands and pulled off my top, exposing my scars.

"Do you see these?" I asked.

He gasped and looked away.

"Gross, isn't it? Disgusting. Ugly."

"Allie, stop," He said.

"Hideous. Grotesque."

"Allie, please. Stop," He begged me.

But I went on, "Horrid. Revolting. Appalling."

"Allie, Stop it!" He yelled.

"Grisly," I whispered.

I couldn't control my breathing and I knew I was going to break soon.

"Don't cry," He said before I even realized tears were spilling from my eyes.

He pulled me into his arms and held me until Derek knocked on the door.

"Is everything okay? Allie, are you ready to come out?"

Spencer looked down at me as if asking for an answer to Derek's question.

"Tell him no," I mumbled.

"She said she's not ready yet," Spencer answered.

"Does she want me to stay with her tonight?"

"Will you stay?" I asked Spencer.

"Don't you want Derek to stay?" He asked looking confused.

I shook my head. He let go of me, stood up, and he said, "I'll be right back."

He went into the hallway and I could hear him tell Derek that he was staying with me. Derek sighed but agreed. Then he left. Spencer came back in the bathroom.

"Well, it's noon and we still have a whole day ahead of us," Spencer said.

I put my shirt back on and stood up.

"I was supposed to have brunch with Derek and Garcia," I said.

"We can go, if you want to," He offered.

"No, it's okay. I'm not really in the mood to go anywhere," I said. "I'll be right back. I'm gonna go change."

I walked into my room and changed into my dark grey sweatpants and black tank top. After I changed I went back into the living room and started scanning the CD rack.

"What are you looking for?" Spencer asked.

"The CD my parents used to listen to," I said after I finished looking on the top row of the CDs.

"What CD is it?" He asked while he got up from the couch to look at the rack of CDs.

"It's a Cyndi Lauper CD. My parents' song is on it."

He looked at the rack for a whole ten seconds when he said, "Oh! Here it is."

I blew dust off the case, giggled, and put the CD in the stereo.

'I had to escape
The city was sticky and cruel
Maybe I should have called you first
But I was dying to get to you
I was dreaming while I drove
The long straight road ahead'

"This was my parents' song while they were in high school," I informed Spencer.

I stood in front of him and said, "Dance with me."

He shook his head, "I can't dance."

I took his hands and swayed my hips to the beat of the song, "You were dancing with JJ at the bar on my birthday."

"Not very good," He said. He was moving, trying to dance. It was so cute and reminded me of the time I danced with him on my birthday.

When the song was over I turned off the stereo and turned on the TV.

"Wanna watch anything in particular?" I asked Spencer.

"No, whatever you wanna watch is fine," He replied with a smile.

"Kay," I said and sat with him on the couch.

We watched TV all day and ordered Chinese food then fell asleep on the couch together. If it wasn't under these circumstances, it would have been the perfect way to end Valentine's Day.