For a Genius, You're Pretty Dumb

"Allie," I heard someone whisper.

"Hmm?"

"Allie, wake up."

It was a man.

"Not wake up ..... sleep," I mumbled incoherently.

A gentle shake.

"Alexandria."

"No."

A woman chuckled. "Aaron, she's still tired. Let's let her sleep."

Oh. Haley and Hotch.

"No, it's okay. I'm up now," I said and picked myself up from the bed I was laying on. It was the fifth day I stayed at Hotch's house since Derek kicked me out.

"I made you some breakfast. It's on the table," Haley informed me. Haley's been really great while I've been here. I mean, she's always been really nice to me, but in the five days I've been here she's been kind of like a mom to me.

I thanked her as she left the room and then I walked into the bathroom to get a shower.

While I was in the shower, I thought about how I really messed things up these last couple of days. I messed things up so bad that one of the only people I have in my life that I truly trust and who actually gives a damn about me, won't even speak to me. The whole time I've been at Hotch's Derek hasn't called or texted me once. I talk to Garcia on the phone every night and she told me Derek is still upset but she doesn't think it will be too long until he shows up. I hope she's right. If I were Derek, I'd be mad at me, too. All he ever did was try and protect me like the big brother I never had, and here I am messing it all up! I sighed and stepped out of the shower then dried myself off and put on a pair of dark grey sweatpants and a black racerback tanktop.

After I got dressed, I went into the kitchen where Haley was feeding jack scrambled eggs in his highchair.

"Good morning, Allie," She said brightly.

"Good morning, Haley," I replied with a smile.

"You're still watching Jack for us tonight, right?"

"Of course," I said and smiled. "Where else would I go, anyway?"

Haley laughed then picked Jack up from his highchair. "Time to give little man his bath," She said in her baby voice. You know, that voice everyone makes when they talk to babies? Yeah, I'll admit, I have a baby voice, too.

After Haley went upstairs I picked my car keys up from the table and headed out the front door to my car. The day after Derek kicked me out he drove my car down to Hotch's house to bring my suitcases then Hotch drove him back home. I pulled out of the driveway and started making my way to Garcia's apartment. I glanced at the clock. 1:39. I had to be back at Hotch's place by 6:40 to babysit Jack. Today is the last day before the team has to be back at the BAU so Hotch decided he wanted to take Haley to dinner so he could do something special for her because their marriage is kind of on the rocks. That's the downside to the BAU. It's just so time consuming. Wake up early, go the the BAU, work, work, work, break, work, work, work, go home late and crash. Repeat process. It gets very tiring, but after closing case, it's the biggest rush. When we save a life, it feels like the greatest thing in the world.

When I got to Garcia's apartment I parked on the side of the curb and called her cell phone.

"Hey, girl! You here yet?" She asked as soon as she answered.

"Yep, I'm outside right now," I told her.

"Kay, I'll be out in a sec," she said.

"Kay," I said and hung up.

A few seconds later Garcia opened the door and sat in the car.

"Ready for some serious shopping?" She asked excitedly.

"You know I'm ALWAYS ready for some serious shopping," I said. "But don't forget I have to be back by-"

"Back by 6:40. Yeah, yeah, yeah, now lets GO! We're wasting time here!"

"Okay, okay!" I said as I turned the car on and started driving to the mall.

"Oh, my," Garcia said in a semi disgusted tone.

"What?" I asked.

"Your NAILS! They look awful! "

I scoffed. "I'm SOOO sorry I don't have enough time on my hands to go out and get my nails done!"

Garcia laughed. "Well, I guess that's what our girls afternoon is for, then!"

"Right," I said with a grin.

____________________________________________________________________

"What about these light pink pumps with that skirt I got?" I asked. I was currently standing in the dressing room in front of the mirror with Garcia.

She glanced over from the two outfits she was getting ready to try on.

She shook her head. "The white ones."

I looked down at the two shoes on my feet, the light pink pumps and the white pumps, and nodded. "The white ones for sure."

"Excuse me, miss," I called over to the saleswoman.

"How can I help you today?" She said with a big, fake smile.

"I'd like these white pumps in a size eight, please."

"Okay, I'll be right back," She said and disappeared into a back room.

"Oh, how I'd love to be alone in the Shoe Room for a few hours," Garcia said.

"You and me both," I said with a dreamy sigh.

The Shoe Room is what Garcia and I call the room where they keep all those boxes of shoes. Our heaven.

The saleswoman came back out with a black shoe box. "White pumps, size eight," She said cheerfully while extending the box out towards me.

"Thank you," I said and took the box to the register.

Another couple of hours later and we were sitting in some little Italian restaurant.

"Ughh my feet are KILLING me!" I complained while we were sitting in our booth.

"Mine, too!" Garcia said.

"But it's worth it," I decided.

"That it is," Garcia agreed.

I picked at the chicken Alfredo I ordered and then decided I just wasn't hungry.

"Hey, Garcia?"

"Yeah?"

"When do you think Derek will let me come back?" I asked, hopeful that Derek had given Garcia any signs at all that he would forgive me soon.

She patted the napkin on her lips then set it down. "I think really soon, actually. He's been talking about you alot, lately."

My ears perked up a little.

"Really? What did he say?"

"Well, not so much, like, talking about you. More like .... bringing your name up. If you get what I mean," She said.

I nodded. "I think I get what you mean."

The rest of our dinner was spent talking about our shopping trip.

"Well, you ready to go?" Garcia said after the bill was paid.

"Yeah, I gotta be at Hotch's in about forty minutes," I replied. We left the restaurant and headed to Garcia's.

After I dropped Garcia off and got back to Hotch's house I took all of my bags upstairs into the guest room I was staying in and set them next to my suitcases. I walked into Haley and Hotch's room to see Haley standing in front of the mirror in a little black dress that had a beaded bodice.

"What do you think, Allie, the black booties or the silver pumps?" She asked holding both of the shoes in front of me.

"Hmm .... Add that black scarf you have and wear the black booties," I said.

"You're a genius!" She exclaimed.

"I try," I said with a shrug.

"Jack's in his playpen watching some cartoons. I already bathed and fed him so all you'll have to do is change his diaper later. He should fall asleep in about two hours or so," She said and glanced at the clock. 7:03. We walked downstairs then Hotch and Haley left.

About an hour and a half later, Jack was asleep and I was watching a re-run of CSI. I could hardly keep my eyes open. I grabbed one of the blankets from the closet in the hallway and laid down on the couch by Jack's playpen and nodded off to sleep.

I walked up the familiar walkway that I was every night. I swear, I can count every stone in the walkway. Every crack. Every weed growing in every crack. It's morbid, really. I opened the door, like I usually do, but this time there was no screaming. No blood. No carnage. No familiar stranger in my house. Not even my parents were in the house. I walked up the stairs and into the same room I usually walk into, my parents. This is where it all started. But to my surprise, I wasn't the only one in the house. A man was there, kneeling down picking something up from off the ground. It shimmered in the light from the window. It was a bracelet. A silver bracelet, to be exact. With pear shaped amethyst stones on it.

"Who are you?" I asked, unafraid. I knew in my stomach that this man posed no threat.

He must not have heard me, because he simply sat there examining the bracelet.

I walked towards him and saw his face in the moonlight.

"Spence?"

He still didn't hear me.

"Spencer!" I yelled louder.

No response.

I stood in front of him as he stared at the bracelet in his hands, as if trying to solve some puzzle.

"Where are you?" He suddenly asked, frustrated.

"I'm right here, Spencer," I answered, knowing he was speaking to me, and also knowing he can't hear or see me.

He stood up and slipped the bracelet into his pocket. I reached out to touch him, then woke up.

Once, I had a dream when I was a kid that I was reaching out for a glass of water and woke up grabbing at nothing but air. That's what I was doing when I woke up. Grabbing for air. I sighed and looked down at Jack sleeping in his playpen. He looked so at peace. I pulled his blanket over his shoulders and stood up from the couch to get a drink. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass when Jack started to cry.

"It's okay, Jack," I called out to him, "I'll be there in a sec."

After filling the glass with water, I walked into the living room and gasped. The glass fell out of my hands and shattered on the floor.

"You ..."

Sitting on the couch with Jack in his arms was none other than Alan Garrett. He grinned at me.

"Cute, isn't he?" He asked and pinched Jacks cheeks. The baby started to cry.

"Put .... Put him down! Leave him alone!" I managed to yell. Suddenly I felt dizzy. I knew, since Valentines Day, he'd be back. What I didn't know, was that it'd be this soon.

He chuckled and set Jack back in his playpen.

"I miss you, Allie," He said as he stood up.

"Get away! Don't come any further!" I said sharply.

"Or what?" He asked, as if it was a game. A harmless game.

I didn't know what to say because I didn't know what to do. I glanced at the clock on the wall. 9:46. Hotch and Haley should be back by eleven-thirty. I knew I had to find a way to stall him. I just didn't know if I could.

"What do you want? Why are you doing this?" I whispered.

"You know what I want," He said walking closer. I was frozen in place. He was directly in front of me, reaching out to touch my hair. "You."

"No," I said firmly and turned my head away. He grabbed me roughly, pushed me down to the floor, and climbed on top of me. His hands were all over me, exploring the hills and valleys of my body. His hands landed on the hem of my tank top, greedily pulling it up.

"No, please, please, don't do this! Please!" I repeated over and over again, hoping he would stop, and knowing he would only go further.

"Such a beautiful body," He said and shoved his hand in my bra.

The tears were streaming down my face so bad that I couldn't see anything. His calloused hands continued to ravage my body.

"Please," I was still crying out. "Stop!"

His mouth was planting kisses all over my chest, making me feel dirty.

"Oh, God," I wailed, "Please stop! Stop!" He didn't. Instead he brought his head up to mine and kissed me hard on the mouth, sealing in my cries. One hand pinned mine up above my head while the other one traveled down towards my pants. My eyes widened as he pulled them down. I knew what would come next.

He unzipped his pants and pulled my underwear down. I closed my eyes as he shoved himself inside me. His mouth over top of mine continued to muffle my cries. As I laid there, I focused on Jacks cries, and stopped fighting. I knew I couldn't win. My body was tired. I laid there while he raped me, until everything went black.