Into My Arms

I took Anna to Zach’s apartment…I like his apartment, I really do, but this guy kinda owns his own business and he’s living in an apartment…I admire his humbleness but don’t get it and I don’t get him…but he makes Anna happy and that’s all that matters. I was there as they had a moment and apologized to each other. She went to her car to grab something.

“Thank for bringing her back” he said to me.

“Not a problem at all…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you she was in jail but she asked me not to”

“It’s okay…I’m just happy she’s back…I don’t know what I would do if she left and never came back”

“You really love her…I can see that…everyone can see that…but I think Anna cant sometimes…she may not show it but she can get insecure…and she loves you more than anything…she just needs to know that you love her back…maybe while we go on location, you can keep her mind off work…she refuses to take vacation time and she‘s overworked”

“I’d be happy to” he smiled.

“Great. Okay, I’ll see you tonight when we leave” I said and gave him a hug.

Then I turned and Anna came in. “I have to go now to be with Nick” I told her.

“Okay, we’ll come by to pick you up around 10:00 tonight, it gives you plenty of time with Nick, then you can sleep on the plane and by the time we get to New York, we wont be mobbed by fans or paparazzi, we’ll get to the hotel, you’ll sleep some more in a bed and then we get to the set by eight” she explained. I rolled my eyes.

“See what I mean?” I asked him and he just smiled at me, then her. “Okay, plans all set. Now just relax” I told her and hugged her before walking out.

I got back to the house and sighed as I walked inside to the empty house and I found a note on the banister.



~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I hung out with Miley before she had to get back to work with interviews and whatnot, then I hung out with Taylor while I could and we baked cookies. Then Jake, David, Collin and Austin stopped by, picked me up and we went roller skating. Some fans asked for our autographs and pictures and we gave them but I had a lot of fun. While we took a break from the skating and got some drinks.

“I really hate bringing it up but…how’s…he doing?” I asked, reluctantly. They all looked at me.

“He’s…better…” Jake said.

“More like bitter” Collin said.

He didn’t have to explain that one. “Do you guys think I should talk to him?” I asked, avoiding all of their eyes.

“No” they all said.

“You’ve tried talking to him before…you let him in and he took advantage of you” David said.

“You keep trying and he’ll just think you’ll always be there when he needs something” Jake said.

“But if I’m not there for him then who is? He’s so messed up now that he’s disconnecting himself from everyone”

“Rach…he knows we’ll always be there for him…we hate what he did to you…or what he tried to do…” Collin said.

“But we’ll always be his friends and family…him and Jake were the ones that really helped with our confidence levels and they got us to where we are today…”

“Whatever you do though, do not go looking for him. Please promise us Rachael” David requested.

“Okay…I promise” I told them.

“Good. Now enough of that. You’re leaving tomorrow. No need to be all weird and depressing” Jake said.

“He’s right. Lets go get you some new shades” Austin said excitedly.

He was seriously obsessed with sunglasses. Was it such a bad thing to worry about someone who tried to hurt you? Does it mean I’m just kind-hearted? Or does it mean I’m naive and stupid?

~~~~~~~~~~~

I sighed internally as I smiled up at my dad who sat in front of me and we ate. “Something bothering you?” he asked. I guess my sigh was more external than internal.

“Kind of…” was all I said.

I watched as he waited patiently for me to continue and the look he had on his face gave me that warm feeling that I loved getting from him…knowing he’d really listen and give me advice if needed. He was really good at it, believe it or not…for a business man.

“Well…it’s kind of a bunch of things…”

“Okay…one step at a time” is what he said and I nodded.

“Well…It’s kind of about Eric…I know he’s changed…he’s changed a lot…he’s not the guy that I thought I was falling in love with…he’s someone completely different…and I know what he’s doing…and what he did…was stupid and is stupid but I still care about him…and I’m kind of worried…everyone thinks I shouldn’t have any contact with him whatsoever…but I don’t think that’s even possible. We’re in the same business so we’re bound to run into each other…I want to be friends with him…with no attachments…and I want to be able to talk to him about whatever…but I don’t know if I should want that”

“Have you mentioned any of this to Nick?”

“Nick? No way. I don’t talk about or mention Eric whenever Nick’s around, I don’t even think about Eric because sometimes I feel like he can read my mind…I don’t want to upset him or anger him…why would you ask me if I mentioned this to Nick?”

“Well…you seem to really only care about what Nick has to say…you really care about Demi and Miley’s opinion’s as well…even Joe when it comes to some topics…and I know you don’t go to Kevin as much as you told me you did…and I know you talk to Anna about everything…”

“Except this” I mumbled.

“Right, except this… and I think in the end, it doesn’t matter because I know it’s Nick you go to for the answers…he helps you decide and he gives you his input…you take his input so seriously that it ends up being the cause to your end result. Which is why I seriously think you should be talking to Nick instead…even if it is about Eric…you both aren’t 16 anymore…Nick is mature, especially for his age and he’s grown over the years…he loves you so much, I don’t think he would get mad anymore if you brought it up…sure he’ll feel very confused and maybe even a little jealous…which I doubt because he knows about the history between you and Eric and about how you really feel about him…you just have to present your case in a right way” he explained and I nodded, absorbing everything he just told me.

He was right. I did consult Nick on all my decisions and whatever he came to a decision on, that’s the direction I went in…and he hasn’t let me down yet.

“Did I help somewhat?” he asked, unsure of himself and I saw hope flash in his eyes.

“Oh yea. You helped a bunch” I assured him with full seriousness and truth.

He helped me realize how much I really do need Nick in my life…I don’t think I would function properly without him and all my decisions would lead me down…a bad path. He also helped me realize I cant be afraid to tell Nick what’s on my mind…I should be able to trust we don’t get into some big fight…or at least hope…it’ll be normal if we fight but I don’t want to turn into this breakup, get back together thing. I have to be done with that.

“What else is on your mind?” his voice interrupted my thoughts.

“I’m just trying to figure out who my real friends are”

“What do you mean? I thought Demi…”

“No, obviously Demi is a real friend. I love her to death. She’s the sister I never had…”

“She’s the ying to your yang, I heard” he chuckled and it made me laugh.

I smiled at how he always listened and watched all of my interviews.

“Yea…she’ll always be in my life. I don’t know how I know, but I know…and that’s what I used to think about Taylor…but then the whole thing with her and Selena happened and we still talk and hang when we can but things wont be the same…Selena I don’t have a problem with. I think she’s awesome and everything but I knew we wouldn’t be like best friend forever…but then with Miley…I could’ve sworn we would stay sisters forever…but then I think about how she kissed Nick behind my back and how they got together when we broke up last Valentines Day…and it makes me think of how he got with Selena and Miley after we broke up…I think it bothers me that he got with Selena and then went to Miley…”

“And it bothers you that his songs might be about her” he assumed.

I thought about Last Time Around and Rose Garden. I mean he never actually told me that Rose Gardenwas about me…Selena and I lead similar lives, it could simply be about her instead. Then there’s Last Time Around that could be so obviously about her. He talks about last summer…and at the time he wrote this, last summerwas when Demi first introduced Selena to the guys (and me) during the filming for camp rock…but I was there too so it could be about me. Then it talks about hair being longer and Selena had cut her hair…sure my hair went from my waist to the middle of my back but would he really put that in the song if it wasn’t such a dramatic cut? Wow, I’m being over dramatic about hair cuts now…how pathetic can I get? Selena goes from town to town sometimes…but I’m always all over the place…then there’s Selena and Taylor Lautner and when they apparently went out…there were rumors about me and Jake and me getting together at the time…so yeah I guess the song could easily be about me as well. Maybe it’s about both of us…I’m reading too much into this. Why doesn’t he tell me who his songs are about anymore? Oh yea, because there were and are other girls in his life from the three years we didn’t speak to now. I started to sing Last Time Around in my head.

Keep on moving like you did last summer,
When the grass was greener and your hair was longer.
If you become familiar with another in town,
Don't forget about the fun that we had
Last time around.

You walk around with a new man, new plan.
You think it's over but I'm just getting started.
I try to call but you don't ever answer.
I'd let you go but you're all that I'm after.
Can't you remember?

“I guess it might bother me…but what can I do? Those songs are really good”

“Yes they are…and they have a lot of meaning too…just like the ones he did write about you, including the ones he wrote with his brothers…Please Be Mine, Hello Beautiful, Just Friends, Fly With Me possibly…Stay” he ended.

He knew how much I loved that song. I didn’t even know he knew the names of their songs! “Yea I did my homework” he chuckled.

“No one knows Stay is about me…” He gave me a look but avoided the topic.

“I’m just saying…maybe he went out with Selena and Miley after you two broke up because it was his way to cope with losing you…he didn’t know what else to do…”

“Well okay, he didn’t know what to do but Miley is supposed to be my best friend and she went for my boyfriend and then he became my ex and she went for him again…how am I supposed to react to that? Just act like it never happened?”

“Well I think it might be a little late for that since this happened such a while ago…and you have to remember that you did go for Nick when he was her boyfriend”

“I didn’t want it to seem like that…and we didn’t kiss or anything…maybe absentmindedly flirted, but that was it…”

“But then they broke up and you went for him once he told you he still had feelings for you. Isn’t it the same thing?” He got me there.

“And I’m sure the obvious feelings between you and him didn’t help the case for Miley or Eric…he’s still upset about it Rach…I think he still needs closure…and with the whole Miley thing…maybe you should at least try talking to her about all of it…she’s with Liam now but you never stop loving your first love…he was her first love…but you were his”

He made so much sense…where was he when I needed this advice when all of this was actually going on? “How do you know everything that went on?”

“From what you told me and from a few talks I’ve had with Billy Ray…we hung out a few times…then there were the small talks Nick and I had…”

“Oh geez”

"Nothing embarrassing, I promise…just getting to know each other…he was interrogating me more than I was interrogating him” he chuckled.

“Was he really?”

“He may not have wanted to seem like it but he was throwing millions of questions asking me why I really came back, asking if I was staying or how long I was staying…he cares for you deeply”

“I know” I smiled, just thinking about him. “The thought about being away from him for a month and a half kind of hurts”

“I know, but I also know when you get back, he’ll be waiting”

“Thanks dad…” I murmured, looking down at my drink.

“Anytime sweetheart” he said and I could tell he was looking at me.