Dear You: Sincerely, Me

The next letter was slipped under her door when she was setting the classroom up for her 12 o'clock debate class. It was very spy-like and secretly, Ann would never tell anyone this, but she loved it. She bounced in an excited blur to the door where she leaned her pale face against the glass, hoping to catch a glimpse of her student but only saw a whirl of black hair streak by the door. She sighed and picked up the letter, pulling herself onto a stool by the door, too impatient to walk across the room to her desk.

Dear Father,

Thank you.

I know you're probably double-checking that sentence because I never once have, told you thank you or I love you because I don't. I never have before, you selfish, righteous son of a bitch! I've hated you, I've wanted to be you. But I have never loved you. I've never been your little girl, your princess. I've never wanted to be. We're a dysfunctional family, but you already knew that. Mom is constantly drowning herself in gin, Laura got out as soon as she could with her son and girlfriend. And you, well, you slept with every bar skank and secretary you could get your claws into. You tried for me once. But I'm not one of those kids. I don't sleep with my father. Call me crazy.

There's something I never told you, and you will probably hate me forever for this. But that's okay. I'm in love, with your best friend. You know that girl Mikey was always talking about? He always said how beautiful she was, how amazing she was, and how in love with her he was. That's me. We're happy now. He's always telling me how he just wanted you to know that we love each so much. It was an accident, out first kiss. He caught me as I threw myself off the balcony and our lips just crashed together. I was 16. Now, years later, I lay in my lover's arms, watching our favorite movies and our children play on the carpet (something, I'd like to add, you never did). You don't know about your grandchildren. Twins, a boy and a girl. But you wouldn't love them, because you don't love. You know of lust, desire but not love.

So I have to thank you, Dad. You brought me Mikey and that in turn gave me love and then came Mickeyla and Braxton. I wish you could see that. They love you and they've never met you. That's unconditional love, one that I know you'll never understand. As I watch Braxton kick his soccer ball or Mickeyla playing with her baby doll in her toy house, it reminds me of when Laura and I begged for your attention... the attention we never got.

I will never be like you, Dad. Ever!
So thank you.

Sincerely,
Your Daughter

That poor girl, Ann thought to herself once she finished, she never knew love until someone accidentally showed it to her. She was glad that this girl had a happy ending with twins and the love of her life. If only they all ended in such a manner, Ann thought with a heavy-hearted sigh.