Random stuff
funny sayings
One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me
Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary
"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork"
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
Don't follow me, I'm lost too
At least I don't care what those mindless people think of me
It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?
I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where their going and hook up with them later
Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?
Haha. I don't get it
So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.
If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you
Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them
Set sail in a genaral that way direction
Music is my boyfriend
Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when your bored
Poke me. I dare you.
This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.
Doctors say I have multiple personalitiess. We disagree with that.
I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
When life gives you lemons make apple juice and then laugh when people try to figure out what the hell you did.
When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.
It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.
Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some priminal areas.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubburn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.
I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid I'd take over.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do? Kill me?
Whenever you feel pissed off at someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way your a mile from them and you have their shoes. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Did you know Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity?
Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it!
Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?
364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?
An apple a day keeps the docter away, if well aimed.
Parents spend the first part of our lifes teaching us how to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.
How are the force and duct tape the same?- They both have light and dark sides and hold the universe together.
Never go to a doctor who's office plants have died.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Isn't Disney Land a people trap operated by a mouse?
When life hands you lemons throw them right back and tell life to make it's own dang lemonade!
The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out?"
Who was the first person to say "You see that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt?"
When french people swear do they say Pardon my English?
Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary
"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork"
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
Don't follow me, I'm lost too
At least I don't care what those mindless people think of me
It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?
I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where their going and hook up with them later
Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?
Haha. I don't get it
So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.
If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you
Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them
Set sail in a genaral that way direction
Music is my boyfriend
Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when your bored
Poke me. I dare you.
This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.
Doctors say I have multiple personalitiess. We disagree with that.
I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
When life gives you lemons make apple juice and then laugh when people try to figure out what the hell you did.
When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.
It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.
Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some priminal areas.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubburn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.
I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid I'd take over.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do? Kill me?
Whenever you feel pissed off at someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way your a mile from them and you have their shoes. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Did you know Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity?
Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it!
Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?
364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?
An apple a day keeps the docter away, if well aimed.
Parents spend the first part of our lifes teaching us how to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.
How are the force and duct tape the same?- They both have light and dark sides and hold the universe together.
Never go to a doctor who's office plants have died.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Isn't Disney Land a people trap operated by a mouse?
When life hands you lemons throw them right back and tell life to make it's own dang lemonade!
The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out?"
Who was the first person to say "You see that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt?"
When french people swear do they say Pardon my English?
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XD