Pull Me In The Undertow.


My name is Carrie, short for Carolyn. My life was a mess. My mother died when both I and my sister were young leaving us to our abusive father. Some say she committed suicide but others say my father killed her. Either one was probable. It’s sad to think about it. I tried to convince Sarah that she didn’t commit suicide. That she wouldn’t leave us with our father on purpose. The more I said it the more I realized I needed the convincing. My mother loved us that was no doubt but she was always ‘different’ around us when our father was around. She let him beat us without saying a word about it. She would hear our cries for help but never showed any emotion on her face. It was as if she wasn’t there mentally but only physically. I remember the night she died. Our father had snuck into our room and started touching Sarah inappropriately. I didn’t know what to do so I laid there silently sobbing hoping our mother would help.

After a few minutes of hoping I decided to take matters into my own hands. I grabbed my nightlight and yanked it from the wall. I jumped off my bed and headed straight for my father. I hit him in the head, grabbed Sarah’s hand and ran out of the room as fast as I could go. I heard my fathers’ yells. I ignored them as I dragged Sarah down to the basement. I had a hiding spot there. It was stocked with a few items so we could stay there for a few days if we needed to.

Once we made it to the hiding spot, we both sat there trembling. We didn’t know if he followed us or not. Then we heard my mother’s voice yelling. I knew she was fighting with my father. A smile stretched across my face, she did care. We heard a lot of loud bangs and glass breaking. Sarah was crying with silent sobs in between. I wrapped my arms around her, telling her it would be okay. The yelling and crashing seemed to go on for hours. I fell asleep rocking Sarah to sleep. When we woke up, I didn’t know what to expect. I was afraid to leave our spot.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and I held tight to Sarah. I could hear voices and I didn’t recognize them. I peeked through the crack in the wall and saw people with uniforms on. They were police officers. They made it to the bottom of stairs and started shining their lights around. They looked around for a few minutes and started to head up the stairs. Then Sarah sneezed and they stopped in their tracks. They backtracked down the stairs to look for the source.

“We won’t hurt you; we are here to help you.” The female police officer said. I was afraid of what happened to my mother so I decided it might be smart to let them help us. I pushed on the little door I made for the hide out. I stepped out with my sisters’ hand in my own. Our nightgowns were soiled with dirt and you could tell we had been crying. They stared at us with apologetic eyes before speaking.

“I’m sorry girls, but your mother…” The female officer hesitated before finishing. “Your mother is dead.”

That was twelve years ago. It was still vivid in my mind as I stood here on this island. I didn’t fit in with this crowd. I didn’t even know why I chose to work at the tattoo and piercing parlor. But it was a job and I needed money to take care of Sarah and myself. I ran my fingers through my sandy blond hair. I was so worried about Sarah right now. I didn’t know how long we’d be stuck here. There was only enough food in the apartment for just a few days.

“Guys! Guys!” Dominic yelled, breaking my concentration. “Shut the fuck up. Seriously. Standing on this stupid island in the middle of nowhere and arguing about stupid shit isn’t going to help anything. What we need to do is find some way to get the hell off this place.”

I nodded, “Yeah seriously guys. Fighting isn’t going to get us anywhere.”

Brian looked at me when I spoke astonished I even spoke. I never said much to anyone. I liked to keep to myself. I didn’t need anyone sticking their noses where it didn’t belong. Dominic was always nice to me. But I think it was because he knew my past and how hard my life has been. I hated it. I didn’t need pity. Not from him and not from anyone. But whenever I saw Dominic these days, it made my day better. I’m not sure why I feel this way for him. I didn’t need a man in my life, not after the last man in my life ruined it. I stared at the ocean as Dominic started pairing us off. I was with Skylar. We set off to get stuff to build with. When we entered the woods, we started picking anything and everything that we could use. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was more worried about Sarah then I was for us. I just wanted out of here so I could get back to my sister. Tears escaped my eyes and I couldn’t stop them. It had been ten years since I cried. Crying was a weakness and it only brought back the past. I kept trying to stop them from falling but I couldn’t. I stumbled on something and fell over.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I heard Skylar mumble. “Let her work here, it’ll be good for business. Yeah right.” She said in a mocking voice. She walked over to me and offered me her hand. I took it. Once I was back on my feet, I brushed myself off and apologized. “What’s your story, anyways?” She asked.

“You don’t want to know.” I said moving away from her and continued searching for usable pieces of wood. And you'll never know, I added inside my head.