Just Wanted To Be Loved

It was midnight when we got to my house which never has been a home. I can't stop thinking why I did that. Why didn't I just talk to him? Why didn't I just tell him why I kept it from him? Those question went though my head over and over and over again. Kelly got out of the car and opened my door I sat there. "Well, are you going?" I couldn't move. "What's wrong?"

"Will he be OK?" I didn't move from the spot I was in. "Will I be ok?"

She bent down and cupped my face with her hands. They were warm unlike Max's. "First, you got to tell me why you left." A tear ran down my face but after that one no more came down.

"Well, I went my room and we had a fight because I didn't tell him why I kept it from him." I wanted to cry but I couldn't.

"Kept what from him?" She was like an angle that was sent to help me thought whatever happens but sometimes she makes it worst.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply and managed to get out "Why I didn't tell him that I loved him sooner."

"Was that it?" She looked like that was the worst move I have ever did in my life.

"Yes that was it and he got all mad because I didn't tell him and he just stop talking to me so I got my clothes and left him a note and called you and then left. Was that bad?"

She dropped her and and stood up. "Just go inside and I'll take care this. I love you so good-night." I got up and grabed my bag and went inside. I heard her car racing down the street. I opened the door slowly and closed it even slower. Before I could even take a breathe I hurried up the stairs and made sure I couldn't hear myself moving. I open the door to my room. I dropped my bag and sat on my bed. 'What is love?' I thought. I stood up and went to my dresser and got out the notebook that I wrote whatever I had on my mind. I opened it and wrote the date and the time that was on the clock in my room.

~What is love.
To me.
Love is... forgiving. Even when you shouldn't be forgiven.
Love is... thinking about you. All the time.
Love is... trust. Keeping secrets, keeping promises.
Love is... doing anything and everything you can. Even if it is hard.
Love is... knowing everything about each other. Especially each others past,
Love is... Knowing we're not prefect. But for me, you don't have to change a thing.
Love is... friendship. Best frineds.
Love is... caring. Going though everything together. Good or bad.
Love is... you and me. I love you and everything about you.
Love is... us.~

I closed the notebook and put it back in the dresser. I laid back on my bed and fell asleep.

*after I woke up*

I woke up and my door to my room was wide open. I looked around and saw no one in the room with me. I got up and I was in my boxers. I hurried to the dresser and my clothes were gone and so was the notebook. I ran down stairs in anger. I hear Mother in the kitchen. I walked in the kitchen and she was sitting at the table and she had my note book reading it. "I love him so much. I can't wait to tell him. Max, if only you would be mine forever." I remember writing that about four mouths ago. She kept reading. "I just want you to take me away from this hell hole and this evil thing that calls her self a Mom."

"What are you doing?! Give that back!" She didn't stop. She fliped to what I wrote last night.

"What is love.To me.Love is... forgiving. Even when you shouldn't be forgiven. Love is... thinking about you. All the time. Love is... trust. Keeping secrets, keeping promises. Love is... doing anything and everything you can. Even if it is hard. Love is... knowing everything about each other. Especially each others past. Love is... Knowing we're not prefect. But for me, you don't have to change a thing." Her face change to disgust when she kept reading. "Love is... friendship. Best frineds. Love is... caring. Going though everything together. Good or bad. Love is... you and me. I love you and everything about you. Love is... us." She stood up and looked at me.

"What the fuck are you doing!? That is mine! And where the fuck are my clothes!" She laught at me. "What the fuck are you laughting at?!" She simled at me and started to walk towards me.

"I see your home a day eraliy. What you guys have a fight or did you just miss me?" She drew her hand back and was about to punch me. But when her hand swang back to hit me I moved and her hand hit the wall. She just look at me for a second. I knew she was surprise that I moved.

"What? You thought I would let you hit me? Fuck no." She came towards me again. I walked towards her and she stopped. "I'm going to be you now and your going to be me." I let a tear escape my eye and it ran down my face. I pushed her back and she nearly fell. I punched her and then she fell. I kicked her like she kicked me and I made her cry like she made me. "Now that you feel the same way I have everytime you hurt me. I hope you like beating on other things `cuz I'm leaving." I looked at her and she looked at me. I knew this was where it ends. I turned and went up stairs into her room. I found all my clouts I put some dark green pants on and a red shrit. I didn't really care if I match. I grabbed a black zipup hoodie and went down stairs. I heard her crying in the kitchen. I smiled at what I have done. "Remember I have never told and never will. FUCK YOU!" I open the door and Max was across the road sitting and the side walk.