Just Wanted To Be Loved

We sat down on the swings and for awhile I thought he didn't want to know what was wrong. And I didn't want to tell him what was wrong.

"Mark, what's wrong? Your starting to make me worry." He was looking at the ground and not once did he even take a second to see if I was about to talk.

"Max, did you know I had a brother?" I looked up just for a moment to see if he was looking at me but he wasn't.

He didn't say anything (like he was thinking) and I was about to go on but he said still looking at the ground "No, you never told me about a brother but you said something about a sister."

I got up and started to walk around him. "Well my mom told me about him about a week ago and I can't get him off my mine."

He looked at me and said "That's it?"

I stop walking. I turned so I didn't see his face when I said "He is is .................., well he is-"

"What is it?" He got up but then sat down because he saw some tears running down my face.

I covered my face with my hands and said "He's dead. Been dead for a long time now and, and-" I didn't finish what I was going to say but I think he knew what I was going to say. But before I knew it his arm were wrapped around my waist from the back and his head was resting on my left shoulder. The wind just started to blow really hard and it was getting cold, but he was keeping me warm with his body.

He whispered into my ear "I didn't want you to know but my brother die too but I knew him. He die in a car crash and my mom was the diver. How did he die?" My knees collapsed and I couldn't stop crying. He want down with me and whispered "Please don't cry. Just to tell you, you look like a girl when you cry, not trying to be mean though."

I turned to face him still tearing up but not crying. He wiped the remaining tears that were on my face and I smiled at him. He smiled back as if I was his new girlfriend. "I want you to know how he died but I don't like it." I whispered in a sad voice.

He tilled his head like a confused puppy. "If you don't like it don't tell me. I won't care OK?" He whispered in a sweet voice.

"I'll tell you." He had a smirk on his face and now he looked like a cute puppy. "He died because he well um slit his wrist and got into the bath tub." I knew he was going to ask 'Why would he do something like that?' I didn't like why he died because I'm gay. "He did that because he was gay. He couldn't deal with people calling him names because of the way god made him. I don't really understand why I haven't done that alright but I have something to live up to."

He wasn't whispering any more. "What do you mean why didn't you do that yet?" I looked at him and he didn't have a smirk on his face, "Your gay like him?" I nodded my head yes. he let my hands go and I smiled.

I got up and said "I knew this is the way you were going to act when I told you. I didn't have to act gay when you told me to. I knew when you kissed me it was fake so I didn't care. And all those times before I told you that no guy ever would love you the way girls love you, I was telling the truth. OK?"

I walked away and I started to cry. I couldn't help but leave him there. Now that I told him I wonder what he is going to act like.