Status: Completed.
I Miss You Most At Christmas Time
I Miss You...
I felt my body shiver. It was finally winter. I wanted to be happy, I didn’t want to be a sad that another year has come and I’m still alone. No, I was going to try and be happy this year. I knew I said that every year but this year was going to be different. I wasn’t getting any younger. I wasn’t always alone. I had my family and I had…Thomas. Bringing up his name brought back memories I had suppressed all these years. I gazed out the window on this cold winter’s night.
I continued to call his phone. He was over an hour late. We were supposed to meet at the café down the street at seven. I looked at my watch one more time before calling again.
“Hey, I’m at the café. You were supposed to be here over an hour ago and I’m just a little worried. So call me.” I hung up the phone as I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I knew everything was fine. He did this often to me and it was one reason we were supposed to meet up. We needed to talk about us. I looked out the window. The snow was starting to fall a little harder than it was an hour ago. I put my coat on and grabbed my purse. I was going to confront him about standing me up. This was the last time. I promised myself I wasn’t going to let him convince me he would change and that he was sorry. He would then make every excuse why he couldn’t come, call or answer his phone.
He made it so hard to trust anyone again. But I still miss what we had. Christmas time always did that to me.
Away in the distance the carolers are singing in the snow
Everybody's laughing
The world is celebrating
And everyone's so happy
Except for me tonight
Even after everything we went through I still couldn’t get him off my mind. The memories of us just being together happy was what played through my mind. The days we spent throwing snowballs or just curled up next to the fireplace.
Because I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you, most at Christmas time
My tears start to flow and I couldn’t stop them. Or maybe I didn’t want to. I leaned my back against the window and cried like I hadn’t cried in a long time. I could taste the salt filled liquid running passed my lips and hitting my pants. I always tell myself I’m better off without him. But my heart doesn’t believe it. Or maybe my heart just hasn’t had the chance to get passed it.
In the springtime those memories start to fade
With the April rain
Through the summer days
Till autumn's leaves are gone
I get by without you
Till the snow begins to fall
Since Thomas I’ve been alone. I stopped hanging out with any of my friends. I rarely speak to my family. I knew they were worried about me. They left messages every day after Thomas and I broke up. The messages are fewer these days. I appreciated each message even though I never called back. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about calling my mother and talk to her about everything. But I just knew she wouldn’t understand what I was going through. Hell, I didn’t even understand what I was going through. I wondered if I would ever know what I was going through. All I knew was I really missed him right now.
And then I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right...
But then I miss you, most at Christmas time
I continued to call his phone. He was over an hour late. We were supposed to meet at the café down the street at seven. I looked at my watch one more time before calling again.
“Hey, I’m at the café. You were supposed to be here over an hour ago and I’m just a little worried. So call me.” I hung up the phone as I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I knew everything was fine. He did this often to me and it was one reason we were supposed to meet up. We needed to talk about us. I looked out the window. The snow was starting to fall a little harder than it was an hour ago. I put my coat on and grabbed my purse. I was going to confront him about standing me up. This was the last time. I promised myself I wasn’t going to let him convince me he would change and that he was sorry. He would then make every excuse why he couldn’t come, call or answer his phone.
He made it so hard to trust anyone again. But I still miss what we had. Christmas time always did that to me.
Away in the distance the carolers are singing in the snow
Everybody's laughing
The world is celebrating
And everyone's so happy
Except for me tonight
Even after everything we went through I still couldn’t get him off my mind. The memories of us just being together happy was what played through my mind. The days we spent throwing snowballs or just curled up next to the fireplace.
Because I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you, most at Christmas time
My tears start to flow and I couldn’t stop them. Or maybe I didn’t want to. I leaned my back against the window and cried like I hadn’t cried in a long time. I could taste the salt filled liquid running passed my lips and hitting my pants. I always tell myself I’m better off without him. But my heart doesn’t believe it. Or maybe my heart just hasn’t had the chance to get passed it.
In the springtime those memories start to fade
With the April rain
Through the summer days
Till autumn's leaves are gone
I get by without you
Till the snow begins to fall
Since Thomas I’ve been alone. I stopped hanging out with any of my friends. I rarely speak to my family. I knew they were worried about me. They left messages every day after Thomas and I broke up. The messages are fewer these days. I appreciated each message even though I never called back. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about calling my mother and talk to her about everything. But I just knew she wouldn’t understand what I was going through. Hell, I didn’t even understand what I was going through. I wondered if I would ever know what I was going through. All I knew was I really missed him right now.
And then I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right...
But then I miss you, most at Christmas time