Status: Complete.
Give Love a Try
Chapter Twenty One
Shane’s POV
“So,” Nate said, once we were back in our cabin. “What’d you want to say?”
I turned to face him. What did I have to say? I had no idea. I was confused about what happened and why Nate was in my bed this morning. I remembered the whole Alicia situation from yesterday. How embarrassing was that? What was more embarrassing was crying in front of Nate like I did. I didn’t know why I had. It was like I hurt him. I could see the hurt on his face when he confronted me about the impromptu make out session with Alicia. It felt like, I was cheating on Nate. I didn’t understand that feeling at all. It was like I had feelings for Nate. Did i? Is that why I’m feeling this way? My thoughts were broken into by Nate waving is hand in my face.
“What?” I said to him, annoyed that I had been interrupted. “I asked you what you wanted to say.” His facial expression mirrored my thoughts. He looked confused too.
“Um, I wanted to ask why you were in my bed this morning.” I started timidly.
“Don’t you remember what happened yesterday?” Nate mused, tilting his head like he did.
“I remember Alicia attacking me and you catching us out. I remember you telling me that I should’ve told you about being with Alicia then denying everything and I remember crying like a moron.”
“Is that all?” Nate looked at me. I shrugged.
“You don’t remember me hugging you and pulling you into the cabin?”
I shook my head; then stopped. I did remember that. I remember him telling me to lie on my bed and he lied beside me. I remember him promising to never leave me, and I remember him holding me. I remember curling into him, like a child. I also remembered him singing to me.
“I remember you singing to me,” I smiled at him. He half smiled back at me, but I could see something was troubling him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. He looked down. I tried to catch his eye but he turned away. I stepped in front of him and grabbed his arm to keep him from turning away again. “Nate? Nate? Talk to me!” He licked his lips nervously.
“Do you remember almost kissing me?” I stepped back, letting go of his arm. Twice?”
He looked up, finally catching my eye. Of course I remembered. I had been so mad when Jason interrupted us both times. But what would happen if I actually admitted this? Would he expect us to just become a couple, fall in love, kiss under the moonlight, hold hands on the way to class? No. That couldn’t happen. I’m not gay.
“No,” I lied. Nate looked shock.
“Liar,” Nate glared at me. “You’re a terrible liar.”
“How can you tell if I’m lying or not?”
“You’re eyes,” he told me almost immediately. “Your pupils dilate when you lie. And right now, they’re huge.” He put his hand on his hips like a PMS-ing teenage girl.
“So!” I tried my hand at a comeback. “I’m not lying! Besides, why the hell would I kiss you, or try to for that matter?”
“I don’t know!” Nate answered, matching the volume of my voice, which was getting louder.
“I thought we, you know, had something.”
“Like what? I argued. “I’m not some queer, Nate. Just because I’ve been nice to you in the past, doesn’t mean I’m in love with you or something.” I looked at Nate. What did he think of this? His face gave me the answer. His face was a canvas of emotion, all of which were negative. He was hurt, to say the very least. He was staring into nothing. What had I done? I saw his eyes light up, before looking at me.
“Well, I’m not in love with you either! I was pitying you. It was always you trying to kiss me. And don’t deny it Shane. I could see the disappointment in your face when Jason caught us every time. I’m not blind or stupid Shane. I can see you feel something. You’ve never looked at a girl here. Is that what Brown was talking to you about after I left? Asking you if we’d hooked up yet. Are you gay Shane? Are you?” Nate was fuming.
“I’m not fucking queer Nate!” I yelled at him. “Get that through your thick skull! Are you gay? Do you want me Nate? Do you want to hug me, kiss me, make sweet gay love to me?” With that he slapped me hard across the face before making his way to leave the cabin. I sighed and rubbed where he had hit me.
“Nate, wait.” I walked after him grabbing his arm again. Was He shrugged it off angrily and swung his fist. The connection of his fist with my eye sent shock waves through my body. I gaped at him. He stepped close to me so our faces were only centimeters apart.
“Just stay the fuck away from me,” he said in a hushed voice. The look in his eyes scared me. It was hatred. Complete hatred. The cabin door slammed closed and I broke down. Collapsing onto my knees in the door way, I sobbed. What had I done?
“So,” Nate said, once we were back in our cabin. “What’d you want to say?”
I turned to face him. What did I have to say? I had no idea. I was confused about what happened and why Nate was in my bed this morning. I remembered the whole Alicia situation from yesterday. How embarrassing was that? What was more embarrassing was crying in front of Nate like I did. I didn’t know why I had. It was like I hurt him. I could see the hurt on his face when he confronted me about the impromptu make out session with Alicia. It felt like, I was cheating on Nate. I didn’t understand that feeling at all. It was like I had feelings for Nate. Did i? Is that why I’m feeling this way? My thoughts were broken into by Nate waving is hand in my face.
“What?” I said to him, annoyed that I had been interrupted. “I asked you what you wanted to say.” His facial expression mirrored my thoughts. He looked confused too.
“Um, I wanted to ask why you were in my bed this morning.” I started timidly.
“Don’t you remember what happened yesterday?” Nate mused, tilting his head like he did.
“I remember Alicia attacking me and you catching us out. I remember you telling me that I should’ve told you about being with Alicia then denying everything and I remember crying like a moron.”
“Is that all?” Nate looked at me. I shrugged.
“You don’t remember me hugging you and pulling you into the cabin?”
I shook my head; then stopped. I did remember that. I remember him telling me to lie on my bed and he lied beside me. I remember him promising to never leave me, and I remember him holding me. I remember curling into him, like a child. I also remembered him singing to me.
“I remember you singing to me,” I smiled at him. He half smiled back at me, but I could see something was troubling him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. He looked down. I tried to catch his eye but he turned away. I stepped in front of him and grabbed his arm to keep him from turning away again. “Nate? Nate? Talk to me!” He licked his lips nervously.
“Do you remember almost kissing me?” I stepped back, letting go of his arm. Twice?”
He looked up, finally catching my eye. Of course I remembered. I had been so mad when Jason interrupted us both times. But what would happen if I actually admitted this? Would he expect us to just become a couple, fall in love, kiss under the moonlight, hold hands on the way to class? No. That couldn’t happen. I’m not gay.
“No,” I lied. Nate looked shock.
“Liar,” Nate glared at me. “You’re a terrible liar.”
“How can you tell if I’m lying or not?”
“You’re eyes,” he told me almost immediately. “Your pupils dilate when you lie. And right now, they’re huge.” He put his hand on his hips like a PMS-ing teenage girl.
“So!” I tried my hand at a comeback. “I’m not lying! Besides, why the hell would I kiss you, or try to for that matter?”
“I don’t know!” Nate answered, matching the volume of my voice, which was getting louder.
“I thought we, you know, had something.”
“Like what? I argued. “I’m not some queer, Nate. Just because I’ve been nice to you in the past, doesn’t mean I’m in love with you or something.” I looked at Nate. What did he think of this? His face gave me the answer. His face was a canvas of emotion, all of which were negative. He was hurt, to say the very least. He was staring into nothing. What had I done? I saw his eyes light up, before looking at me.
“Well, I’m not in love with you either! I was pitying you. It was always you trying to kiss me. And don’t deny it Shane. I could see the disappointment in your face when Jason caught us every time. I’m not blind or stupid Shane. I can see you feel something. You’ve never looked at a girl here. Is that what Brown was talking to you about after I left? Asking you if we’d hooked up yet. Are you gay Shane? Are you?” Nate was fuming.
“I’m not fucking queer Nate!” I yelled at him. “Get that through your thick skull! Are you gay? Do you want me Nate? Do you want to hug me, kiss me, make sweet gay love to me?” With that he slapped me hard across the face before making his way to leave the cabin. I sighed and rubbed where he had hit me.
“Nate, wait.” I walked after him grabbing his arm again. Was He shrugged it off angrily and swung his fist. The connection of his fist with my eye sent shock waves through my body. I gaped at him. He stepped close to me so our faces were only centimeters apart.
“Just stay the fuck away from me,” he said in a hushed voice. The look in his eyes scared me. It was hatred. Complete hatred. The cabin door slammed closed and I broke down. Collapsing onto my knees in the door way, I sobbed. What had I done?