The Unwanted Bird Sings

Its been 2 weeks since the incident at school and people were still making a big deal out of it. Girls were whispering and guys were still asking rude questions my patience was starting to run out a little bit. Today was Tuesday October 19th. The boys weren’t going to be with me today cause they had something going on but it wasnt like I needed protection or boy guarding. I walked through the front doors of La Push High only to be stopped half way down the halls by a line of girls and in the center looked to be the leader of this bunch.
" Excuse me please I needed to get to class"
"Your not going anywhere slut, you think your so great just because your hanging out with Paul and them but your nothing to them but a little follower"
" Who's the follower? I'm friends with them because I’m not some love sick puppy drooling over them" I rebutted back.
Her face got redder in color as her anger was rising
" Who would be friends with you?? Your just a dirty skank"
" Apparently them because they're my friends, and if your gonna say shit about me, don’t be a coward and say it to my face"
"You cant prove it was me who said anything"
"Cause you can whisper quietly and I can hear what you say"
The scowl on her face got Angier and she took a step towards me
"Your nothing but a disease, an insect waiting to be crushed"
"Well this insect is close with the guys that you've been dreaming to talk to, I can just imagine what you wanna do to me, so why don’t you do it... Hit me"
Bodies were tensing and fists were clenching.
" Come on, I know you wanna do it, hit me"

*SLAP*

Her hand was in front of her and I had a cut on my cheekbones from her rings, that one hit was all I needed to let loose. This girl was only a small part of my anger but she was the one who made if overflow. I cranked my right hand back and slammed into her face. I hit her so hard that it seemed like she blacked out for a little bit. Her goons realized what was happening so they ganged up on me and let her have her way with me, slapping, scratching and an insult here and there was all that she did but it left its mark, more scrapes on my face and the occasional bruise forming here and there. Slipping from the goons hold I started pounding on this girl, taking her to the floor where I left her in a small beaten pulp, there was a little blood but nothing too serious. I stood and walked out the front doors walking back to Jacob's house.

When I reached the drive way what I saw didn’t help my mood at all
Jacob kissing a girl who looked a lot like Bella, what happened next was a surprise, she punched him and it seemed to have smashed her hand. While she was holding her hand yelling at Jacob I saw that it was actually Bella Swan not someone that looked like her. I didn’t want to see what happened next cause I turned into the forest. You'd think that after my first little adventure that I wouldnt want to go into the forest again but right now I didn’t give a damn where I was going and where I walking through. My heart was aching and it was because of Jacob.
*This is why making bonds with people is pointless, they'll only disappoint and abandon you*
After about an hour walk the cliffs where I met Paul came into view. I sat down letting my legs hang from the ledge, letting the ocean breeze go through my hair.

The silence was calming but also sickening as well, the silence was soon ended by someone walking up behind me.
"Tash, what are you doing way out here everyone has been looking for you, what’s going on? We got a call from the school saying you beat someone up and didn’t show up to class"
"Doubtful, but yes I did beat someone up cause she was asking for it."
"Doubtful? Tasha what are you talking about"
I stood up and faced Jacob with the ocean to my back
" I don’t think lip locking Bella counts as looking for me"
The look on his face went from confused and concerned to complete and total shock
"How do you know about that?"
"Cause kissing on your driveway isn’t something that you easily hide"
He didn’t seem to like that comment and gave me a nasty glare
"Why do you care huh? I love Bella and you just want to make everything a big deal because you have the pack wrapped around your fingers."I just smiled shaking my head.
** This is why I shouldn’t make bond with people*
" No one is wrapped around my finger and they probably wont ever be."
Jacob started shaking and approached a couple steps closer
"O yeah? Than why do you have them do everything you want? Were not your slaves or butlers and I'm done kissing your feet!"
" I never asked anything of you guys except for a place to stay for a little while, you even volunteered to help me out after what happened at the school, so don’t give me that bull!"
With our voices getting louder and louder the rest of the guy showed up even Sam did, they seemed to understand what was going on with Jacob and I with furious looks on our faces only a couple feet from each other.
"Well since you think your so great, why don’t you tell us why your out here and why you were left your aunts house huh, enough with the secrets Tasha time to fess up!"
"Since you want to know so badly I'll tell you. I'm originally from California where I lived with my mom and little brother, my old man ruined it all he took me away from my home, family, friends, school opportunities, and everything that mattered to me taking me to Colorado all I had left was my hate for that man and my skiing. So to get my revenge I did everything in my power to make his life miserable because he took everything away from me I became everything he feared I would become. I stole, destroyed property, got into fights, and I even went as far as assault and grand theft auto, it soon became too much for him to handle and so he sent me here to live with my aunt and uncle in Forks but soon they couldn’t deal with me so I left. You know where the story goes from there and now here we are, does that answer all of your questions?"
"Tasha why didn’t you tell anyone?"
" Why so I can get your pity I didn’t want it Paul"
"Tasha... I-I"
I interrupted him.
"Didn’t I just say that I didn’t want your pity and does that satisfy your needs Jacob Black?? Are you happy now that you know about my past? And what little future I want and have? Because my brother turns 17 in 2 days and I cant even spend it with him!!"
I inched back towards the ledge of the cliff
"Tasha come here we can do something just please come over here, just please get away from that cliff"
"Ya Tasha Seth's right come away from the ledge"
Reaching his hand out to me even though he was out of arms reach.
"I don’t think so, I was stupid to make bonds with people here, they've only disappointed and abandoned me, so I'll make everything easier for you all"

I corrected my posture and stood tall and looked Jacob right in the eyes

"Especially you Jacob Black, I’m sorry for everything that I've done, just remember the sad bird sings the loudest when its most lonely and all it wants is to be needed"
I closed my eyes and fell back toward the ocean. I heard faint screaming and I opened my eyes to rotate and flip just to slam into the ocean feet first. The ice chill was exactly the same as it was the first time I jumped. I looked around and saw nothing but a grayish green blurry fuzz, my will to be there for others was gone.
* No one needs me anymore and no one wants me*
I let the current take me across the ocean side to side always moving, my body was telling me I needed to surface soon, my lungs were yearning for new air. The grayish green fuzz was starting to get darker and darker and right before it went completely black i felt the temperature around me change, get warmer. That heat hit my lips and pressed new air into my lungs, wrapping itself around me pulling me in a direction that i couldn’t tell was up or down. Soon the biting air hit my face and I was placed on solid moving ground. That warmth pressed against my lips against putting more air into my dieing lungs until I coughed up a little water and opened my eyes.

It was Seth leaning over me dripping wet with a look on his face that he was almost about to cry.

"Seth??..... I’m sorry"

and the fading darkness swallowed me whole.