Something To Aim For.
Chapter 1
Everything in this world seems so utterly trivial to me. I listen to the conversations of girls my age, and I want to cry out with frustration. Boys, parties, clothes. Do they really matter in the grand scheme of things? Maybe they do. Maybe the grand scheme of things isn't so grand after all. Maybe this is it. We grow up, and we fall in love, we get job, and then? Then we die. we cease to exist. And how fucking pointless is that?
Now don't get me wrong, I do it too. The current often pulls me along with the rest of them and suddenly I find myself discussing upcoming nights out, anf the new boy that's just moved to town. In some ways I want to be like them, to enjoy mundane topics that flares up such emotion inside of them. But my mind continues to scream, "What's the point??" What's the point in friends, family, grades, work and love? In the end it's all forgotten. We leave in behind, and we die alone. But no-one seems to notice, or care about that. They are blissfully ignorant and I envy them so intensely for that.
My name is irrelevant, but I will tell you it anyway for the sake of this story. I'm Scarlett Silverman. I'm seventeen years old - I was born on the second of January. I have black hair, green eyes, shorter than average etc etc. People find these facts about themselves so important don't they? As though it means something vital about them, as though they can relay the core of themselves with this data. I get the grades I need in order to stay in school, and I'm civil to my parents despite their anxiety over my disdain for society. Nothing has happened to me that should have made me so cynical. I live with my mum, my dad and my younger sister, Casey. Now she gets just as exasperated with me as everybody else over my unwillingness to go along with the crowd. We have a nice house too, it has a pretty pale blue door and a huge garden with a swing. Everything's just...perfect.
Have you ever heard the phrase "ignoring the elephant in the room."? Well I feel like that; I feel like there's this elephant in the room, and I'm the only one who is actually taking notice of it. Everyone else is just walking around it, totally ignoring the glaringly obvious as though if they ignore it for long enough, it will just disappear. But for me, it's not disappearing. It's just contrasting ever more starkly against the rest of the grey world.
Then something happened. Something that brought colour to my black and white world, something that gave me something to aim for. Damien. He showed me what I could do, what I could experience. It's not how you think though; he didn't suddenly make me want the 2.4 kids, and white picket fence. Just the opposite, in fact.
Now don't get me wrong, I do it too. The current often pulls me along with the rest of them and suddenly I find myself discussing upcoming nights out, anf the new boy that's just moved to town. In some ways I want to be like them, to enjoy mundane topics that flares up such emotion inside of them. But my mind continues to scream, "What's the point??" What's the point in friends, family, grades, work and love? In the end it's all forgotten. We leave in behind, and we die alone. But no-one seems to notice, or care about that. They are blissfully ignorant and I envy them so intensely for that.
My name is irrelevant, but I will tell you it anyway for the sake of this story. I'm Scarlett Silverman. I'm seventeen years old - I was born on the second of January. I have black hair, green eyes, shorter than average etc etc. People find these facts about themselves so important don't they? As though it means something vital about them, as though they can relay the core of themselves with this data. I get the grades I need in order to stay in school, and I'm civil to my parents despite their anxiety over my disdain for society. Nothing has happened to me that should have made me so cynical. I live with my mum, my dad and my younger sister, Casey. Now she gets just as exasperated with me as everybody else over my unwillingness to go along with the crowd. We have a nice house too, it has a pretty pale blue door and a huge garden with a swing. Everything's just...perfect.
Have you ever heard the phrase "ignoring the elephant in the room."? Well I feel like that; I feel like there's this elephant in the room, and I'm the only one who is actually taking notice of it. Everyone else is just walking around it, totally ignoring the glaringly obvious as though if they ignore it for long enough, it will just disappear. But for me, it's not disappearing. It's just contrasting ever more starkly against the rest of the grey world.
Then something happened. Something that brought colour to my black and white world, something that gave me something to aim for. Damien. He showed me what I could do, what I could experience. It's not how you think though; he didn't suddenly make me want the 2.4 kids, and white picket fence. Just the opposite, in fact.