Breathe

"The lighthouse?" I didn't know there were any in this area. Of course, I should've figured, because we were in Washington, right by the ocean.

"It's my favorite spot. When I need to get away from everyone I go there. So, basically," he said, looking at me again, "it's my secret place."

I smiled. "Sounds nice."

"Oh, it is."

The sun had set a long time ago, and the stars were a lot brighter than last night. When we arrived, I had made sure to put my jacket on before getting out of the car. Jacob found my hand before we were even ten feet from the car, and while it had taken me quite by surprise, I didn't object. Neither one of us spoke until we were at the top of the lighthouse. It hadn't been run in a many years, Jacob explained. The owners died a long time ago and no one had taken the initiative to start it up again. While we stood in darkness, leaning against the rail, I thought about last night.

"Thank you for .. listening last night." I fell against him, mostly for warmth but because I wanted to be closer to him. "I don't talk about it. Ever."

"Well," said Jacob, wrapping his arm around me. "I suppose that means you trust me, right?"

"Yeah." I watched him smile, and he caught my gaze.

"That's good," he whispered. "If you couldn't trust me, then we might have a problem."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I can't tell you yet. Eventually, I will. It's all a matter of when you think you're ready to keep a secret that's not yours."

I pondered this, slightly confused. "Alright," I said.

Jacob turned so that he faced me. He kept opening and closing his mouth, like he wanted to say something, but for the longest time, nothing came out. I watched the water below us, the dark tides washing the sand away. I had always been a water baby. When I was younger, I went swimming every chance that I had. But now, I was interested in anything.

"You look really pretty right now," Jacob said softly, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

I blushed, and looked at him. "You're way too nice to me."

"Why would I be anything but? I like you."

"I know, I just.. no one's been this nice to me for a long time."

"That's a shame."

I placed my hand on his chest, and his heart rate rose steadily. I had always been rather sensitive about emotions, and could pick up on them with hardly a glance. Jacob was nervous.

"What would you do if I kissed you?" He asked.

I smirked. "Are you asking permission?"

"I just want to know if you'd, you know, run away, or something."

"You didn't answer my question." I laughed quietly.

"You didn't either. What would you do?" He pulled me closer to him, his hands on my hips. I gasped, the cold air burning my lungs.

"I don't know," I whispered. Jacob moved in, and I could feel his breath on my face. Our noses touched, and my heart pounded against my ribcage, furiously beating like it was about to explode. His lip brushed mine. Too close! The internal alarm system screamed in my head.

I pushed him away, inhaling sharply. "I'm sorry, Jake," I said. "I'm not ready."

He sighed, and his arms dropped to his sides. Turning away from me, I knew he was upset. I reached my hand up to his shoulder, and at first I thought he was going to ignore me, but he asked, "when did he leave?"

I blinked. "Three months ago."

"I don't want to sound like a complete dick, Sarah, but he left you. I know you were in love with him but why should you have to suffer for some stupid decision that he made?"

To say that I was surprised would be an understatement.

"I care about you. You shouldn't be beating yourself up about this guy."

"Jake -"

"I'm sorry, Sarah. But-"

"Jake, listen to me."

"- you can't do this to yourself."

He wasn't going to listen, so I put my hands on the base of his neck and kissed him. He took a few steps back in surprise. Jacob took my face in his hands, rubbing his thumb softly across my cheek. The physical contact overflowed with energy. It felt good to feel close to someone. We kissed for another moment before I broke it, trying to catch my breath.

"What was that?" He asked, taking in a deep breath.

"I wanted to. And, you weren't going to shut up."

"Oh, is that the case?" He grabbed me, pulling me into a hug. "You are so unpredictable."

"Isn't that a good thing?" I asked into his chest.

"Sure. In some aspects, I guess it is."

I gave him another kiss, this one short. "I like being spontaneous."