Breathe

I have never been the type of person to pry into someone else's business, but as soon as it involved me, I was going to do everything I could to resolve it. The idea that Liz was trying to sabotage my relationship with Jacob drove me insane, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.

Knocking quietly on Liz's bedroom door, I sighed. It was still a mystery to me why our relationship had gone to the blender. "What?" Liz called.

The door squeaked when I entered, and as I shut it behind me, I said, "yeah, we need to talk." Liz stared at me from her lying position on her bed, a book raised to her nose. "What do you have against my being with Jacob?"

She raised her eyebrow, and then sat up. "I don't have anything against it, I just think you're both being immature. You spend more time with him than you do your own family."

"That's because my family is where he is, Liz. You think this is my family because your mom married my dad?" I crossed my arms. "That is bullshit. You know that I didn't want to come here in the first place. But that doesn't mean that I'm not happy."

Liz stared at me, and stood up, closing her book with a snap. "Why are you still here if you don't want to be here?"

"Because I don't have the money to move out. You know that."

"You wanna know why you don't have any money? You dropped out of high school and don't have a job. You're ruining your own life."

I hadn't expected to get this angry, but the more she spoke, the angrier I became. "You're the one who spends all of their time in their bedroom, fantasizing about the life that you could have, because ever since Embry, no one has found you attractive."

Liz looked at me, her eyes flickering back and forth. They glistened in the dull flourescent light. "You're a hypocrite, Sarah."

"I never tried to sabotage anyone."

"Who said that's what I was doing?"

I sighed contempuously. "You're jealous because I have someone that really cares about me, and actually wants a lasting relationship with me. And you're mad because the only guys that you can find are the ones who only want a good fuck. So, you're trying to sabotage my relationship with Jake because you can't bear to see anyone else but you happy."

"What are you going to do about it?"

I smiled, and shook my head. "Nothing, silly. I'm going to ignore you, probably even pretend you don't exist. Because, well, I don't care what you think."

She clenched her jaw, and I turned around, leaving her bedroom quietly. The war wasn't over just yet, I knew that for sure.

*

"Wait, so, what happened?" Jacob asked as we walked along shops of downtown Port Angeles. He held my hand, folding my small, thin fingers into a little ball.

"Liz is being retarded, that's all. She's jealous."

"Of what?" We stopped in front of the movie theater, and I glanced at the Now Playing posters.

"She's mad that Embry broke up with her. Still." I laughed quietly, and dug through my pockets to look for money. "She thinks that I spend way too much time with you and that it's unhealthy."

Jacob stepped in front of me, pressing his other hand against my pocket. "I'll pay. Don't worry." He kissed me softly, and I resisted the urge to make it last longer. "It sounds like she's just bitter," he said as we bought our tickets. We hadn't seen a movie together at the theater since the first time I met him, and it was making me think of the way he acted. It was sort of cute, really.

"Yeah, well, I think she's declared war, so, I don't know."

"What else was said?" We skipped the concession line and went straight into the auditorium. This was the first real date that Jacob had ever taken me on, and I was so excited that I was beginning to think my dinner was going to make a reappearance.

"Um, that I won't get anywhere in life because I dropped out of high school and don't have a job."

Jacob looked at me, a slight frown on his face. "That's a little over the top, isn't it?"

I shrugged, and we sat down in the reclining cushioned chairs. They had redone this theater a few years back, according to Ophelia, and before had been uncomfortable wooden chairs that no one liked. "I understand why she said it, though. Because it's true."

Jacob sighed. "Just because you didn't finish school and don't have a job does not mean that you won't get anywhere in life. Besides, you don't need to go anywhere." He smiled at me, and I rolled my eyes, taking his hand in mine and pulling it into my lap.

The movie started, and I tried to pay attention, but the words kept playing in my head. Liz had been harsh, but I knew she was right. What was I going to do with my life? Stay with Jacob in La Push? While the scenery was quite enjoyable, there was no way I was going to be able to live in such a small, isolated area.

When the story really started to pick up, I had gotten so distracted with my own thoughts that even Jacob noticed. He leaned over the armrest and whispered, "are you alright?"

I glanced at him, and shook my head. "I feel weird." We both stood, leaving the auditorium. Thank God for late movies, because if there had been any other people in our row, I would've felt like a complete dumbass.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked, putting his hand on my waist.

"I don't know. I - " I ran my fingers through my hair, and sighed. "God, I haven't felt like this since before I moved here."

"Do you need something to drink?"

I shook my head and took a deep breath, the salt from the ocean air stinging my lungs. My head was clouded and it seemed almost impossible to clear it. What if Liz was right? I would never be able to get a good job without an education. I wouldn't be able to support myself if I couldn't get a job, and I'd end up on the street, maybe living with Dad when I'm twenty-two.

Oh, God.

"Sarah?"

"I - what?" I looked at Jacob, who looked seriously concerned. "I'm fine. I just .. I'm sorry." I rested my forehead on his chest. "I'm a fucking failure."

"I think you're pretty great."

I looked at him, eyebrow raised. "Jake, do you know how much I've screwed up in the past eighteen years?"

He frowned, then leaned down to kiss my forehead. "Do you want to go home?"

"I don't know what I want, Jake. Stop asking so many questions."

Jacob pulled me closer to him, his arm wrapped around my waist as we began walking down the sidewalk. "You need to calm down, darling."

"Did you seriously just call me darling?" I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic, and pushed his arm away. "Really?"

He heaved a sigh, and stopped, taking my wrist and guiding me to him. "Stop it, Sarah. You're panicking because Liz said something that was meant to mess you up, and that's exactly what it's doing. Do you want her to win?"

"Of course I don't, I just can't -"

"You're letting her win."

I stared at him. "I hate you."

"No, you love me." He pressed his lips against mine, knocking my breath away. I clung to him, grabbing at his shirt, and his strong neck, and the back of his head. Hardly a month had gone by, and Jacob had completely changed. He wasn't hesitant anymore. He wasn't reluctant. I didn't have to fight for his attention anymore.