Studying the Dead

I was sitting at my dad's desk in his house. I wanted to look through Trent's folder to see if anything new had been found. Dad had apparently hidden it. I couldn't find it, at least, regardless of how hard I looked. I tried all his usual spots and it wasn't there. I knew it had to be I in the house. It was his current project, he had to have it somewhere. Unless... He might have already summed up the whole case. I had tried pleading with him to look deeper. He was still convinced the whole thing was a suicide. I had spent the last few days trying to convince him otherwise. He seemed not to believe me. According to him, I was far too close to the case to make any decisions or to even rely on my own sense as an investigator. It aggravated me to no end.

I sighed and placed my head on the desk. I felt like crying. The funeral had been earlier. I had to go. Part of me didn't want to. It hurt like hell to go and see his casket being put under ground. But I had to. If for nothing else, I had to do it for Trent.

This whole thing was ridiculous, really. I hadn't even known him all that well. We had only had a few classes together and I had always studied at The Bat Cave where he worked. But when I added all the time I actually spent with Trent, it started to make less and less sense to me that I was so devastated knowing he was gone. It almost seemed like everyone else had more right than I did to mourn. I had seen Trent's parents at the funeral. They were a wreck and certainly had a right to be. I had seen Trent's roommate Cole and he had been just as much of a wreck as Trent's parents. But he had a right to that too. Everyone else there just seemed to have the right to mourn. I just didn't feel as if I should be so miserable.

I lifted my head as I heard my dad coming in the door.

“Alice, what's wrong?” He asked immediately upon seeing me. “Why are you crying?”

I wiped my face. I hadn't even noticed I was crying. Having my eyes tear up had been a constant thing in the last few days.

“Anything new with Trent's case?” I decided to change the subject.

He sighed. Trent had been a constant conversation topic in the house the last few days. He tried to refuse me any information as I tried to convince him Trent's death was in no way a suicide. “No,” was all he said. I didn't know if that was to refer to no new information or if it was his way of telling me he wasn't going to discuss this again.

“Fine,” I told him as I stood up. I was upset with him. It was as if he refused to even listen to me about this. He didn't think I knew Trent well enough to decide whether or not he was a suicide case. Either way, it was as if he didn't even care about my opinion on this matter. I wasn't sure if I was annoyed because he wouldn't listen to someone else's advice and opinion, or if I was offended and hurt because he was ignoring my advice and opinion. He had always listened to me in the past. The excuse that I was too close to the case was just bull. I still had the investigator instincts that were screaming at me that there was something more under the surface. But I was a student and couldn't dig on my own. I needed Dad to believe me and back me up and yet he was full out refusing.

“How did you even know Clyburn?” My dad refused to refer to Trent by his first name. He tried to keep everything about his work impersonal. He didn't want to think about Trent as a person, just as a victim. He would have referred to Trent as just another victim if he didn't know how it upset me.

The question itself stunned me. He hadn't bothered asking me that question even as I was crying hysterically and he knew I was hurting.

“We had a few classes together. And he works at that cafe I always go to.” I stopped myself. “Uh, worked, I mean.” I could feel my eyes tear up again. I turned away from my dad.

He coughed uncomfortable. Dad had always been there for me as I was growing up, but even he wasn't use to a woman crying. I grabbed my purse from a nearby table.

“I'll see you later,” I told him for both his sake and mine. He couldn't stand to watch me cry again and I couldn't stand to cry in front of him again.

“If it wasn't a suicide, then it was an accident or a homicide. Did he have enemies?” He asked before I was out the door. Thoughts flooded my brain. The one that surfaced first was Jesse. He had always had a thing against Trent for reasons unknown to me. I shook my head. I didn't want to believe Jesse would do something so stupid. I knew Jesse just as well, if not better, than I knew Trent and Jesse really wasn't the type. He acted like a bad ass, but he wouldn't do something like this.

“No,” I answered Dad. “Not that I can think of. Uh, I got to go. I'll be at the dorms if you need me.”

“Try to get with some friends. You could use a night out.” He told me with a smile before he kissed me on my forehead. I suddenly had the urge to ask him about Trent's folder and where it was. I fought the urge. I could tell from the look in my dad's eyes that he didn't want me thinking about this now.

I smiled at him instead. “Sure thing.”