Set Me Free

In the cafeteria Zander and I were silent. Cori sat with us with some of her friends. They talked amongst themselves, not bothering us, probably because they knew not to.

I didn’t want to talk, because I knew something was up with Zander and whatever it was he needed to think about it. I didn’t want to bother him so I stayed silent by his side, occasionally sending a smile his way whenever I felt his eyes on me.

When Zander finished eating he and I left, silently walking up to our room, fingers intertwined between us. My smile was huge as I swung our arms between us, humming some cheesy love song that was stuck in my head. From the corner of my eye I could see the smallest, almost invisible smile on Zander’s face.

The sight made my heart soar with joy. Whatever was wrong with Zander must be fixed, because he seemed a lot less upset now than before.

“Hey Zander,” I chirp. “Can you tell me what you were thinking about now?”

“Can you survive a serious conversation?” He teased.

I chuckled. “With you, of course!”

We reached our room, Zander twisted the knob, pushing the door open and leading us inside before shutting the door behind us and sighing. His back was facing me as he rested his head against the door, fingers still wrapped around the golden knob.

“I really shouldn’t complain. Most kids don’t even have the honor to have parents.”

I turned my head to the side, curious to know what his parents had to do with his solemn mood.

“It isn’t that I don’t want friends. It’s not that I don’t like people or not care…it’s just that he’s a very strict man. When angered he frightens me. Sometimes he even hits me. My parents expect a lot from me, to make good grades, good decisions. They want me to grow up too fast and…I don’t want to disappoint them.”

“So I push people away in hopes that I won’t want to make friends. That way it’ll be easier for me to accomplish everything my parents want. But you…you’re making it extremely hard to do that.”

Zander had turned to face me now, a frown marring his beautiful features. I bit my bottom lip, so it was my fault he was sad? I guess now it would make sense, somewhat.

“Why are you expected to do so much?” I ask.

“My brother was supposed to do it all, take over the company, be the perfect son, and do as my father told him, but when he got into high school he realized that he didn’t want that. He told father that he wasn’t going to do it, that he was going to become a photographer. Dad was ticked, told him if he wasn’t going to do his job he couldn’t be part of the family. At 17, my brother was disowned and homeless. He went to live with some friends and for the last five years I’ve hardly seen him.”

“I guess you could say I’m scared the same will happen to me, only I don’t have friends to go to. I have no one to depend on if it happens. So I try to do as father says, in hopes to keep my family. Even if they are strict and sometimes ignorant, I love them to death.”

“Well I think that’s bull!” I shout. “You try hard. You get the grades, they should give you some freedom. They should let you have one thing that you enjoy, not lock you up in the house to ruin your high school life.”

“Try telling them that,” Zander sighed, moving around me to go towards his bed. He kicked off his shoes and grabbed some night clothes.

I watched him as he went to the bathroom. Minutes later he was out in some plain pajama pants and t-shirt. As he moved into his bed I couldn’t help but think that, that wasn’t what was bothering him. That probably bothers him everyday, whatever this was, was different.

“So what was really bothering you today?” I asked, moving to his side, although he was buried under his blankets I could clearly see him flinch.

“There is something I want, that I cannot have,” was his simple answer. “Now go to sleep.”

Feeling that I have dug enough today I nodded and went to change. When I came back Zander was sound asleep in his bed. I curled up in my own, more than happy to fall asleep not long afterwards, because I had learned more about Zander today than I had in years of knowing him.

I now knew what his family life was like. I now knew why he pushed people away, why he was the way he was, and now I was determined to help him, to fix the life that he doesn’t have.