Set Me Free

Waking up the next morning to find Zander fast asleep in my arms was heavenly. Smiling, I rub his hand, which was still curled into my own. I wanted to kiss him, but I was scared that might wake him and I really, really didn’t want him to wake up.

I wanted to just hold him a little longer. So sighing, I close my eyes and just enjoy his presence until there’s a knock on our door. It was one of the council members. “Zander, there’s a meeting in ten minutes. Meet us in the cafeteria.”

Zander yawned, “Ok.”

I whined as he sat up, moving away from my arms. I looked up at him and watched as he stretched his limbs, his shirt riding up to show a piece of his beautiful skin. I wanted to touch him, but I resisted the urge.

“Are you gonna leave me now?” I whined, sitting up to pull him against me again. I was thrilled to see that he didn’t pull away. At least…I was thrilled, but the frown on his face made me realize that something was wrong.

“Hey…what’s wrong?” I ask softly, moving so I could see his face better. His eyes were downcast, concentrating on the floor instead of anything else. “Zander…babe, are you all right?”

He blinked and looked at me. He got out of the trance that he must have been in. “Huh?”

“What were you thinking about?” I ask concerned. “You were looking like you were about to cry.”

“Nothing,” Zander somewhat snaps, quickly pulling away from me. I frowned and watched him stomp away to grab his things and head to the restroom. He seemed to be stressed so I stayed silent as he got ready to leave.

Just when he moved to the door, his hand on the knob he stops. I stared at the blankets while wiggling my toes, watching the way the blanket moved. The sound of Zander’s footsteps told me he was heading towards me, but I wasn’t sure why until I felt a hand cup my chin.

Zander forced me to look up and I had no time to realize what he was doing until his lips crashed against mine. My eyes widened, shocked, I stayed motionless until I realized this might be the only time Zander ever kisses me first.

My eyes shut and I applied as much pressure back. Our lips moved in sync, but sadly he pulled away from me with a soft ‘pop’ and before I had time to speak he was out the door, leaving me curious and confused.

Did that…really just happen?

~

“He what?” Cori choked on her juice.

Maybe if I wasn’t so concentrated on walking Zander I might have pat her back to make sure she was ok, but I didn’t. Zander was sitting across the room with the student council. They were all talking, discussing something, probably out our last three days here.

I watched Zander. I watched the way his eyes were stern around those stuck up kids. I watched the way he spoke, how his lips moved and how he occasionally would push the hair out of his face. I watched whenever his tongue would dart out to lick his lips…

God he was so beautiful, but he was so confusing.

He kissed me. It wasn’t the other way around. I didn’t kiss him. He kissed me. He started it and he finished it. Was it his way of saying that he liked me to or was he just so frustrated that he just wanted to kiss somebody? Maybe he’s just fucking with me?

Would he do that? Something told me that he wouldn’t.

I sighed. It was tie for one of the “activities”. Cori and I sat together near the back of this large room. That woman with bug eyes and what looked like an afro was talking to us about love. Someone up there must hate me because damn…this was making my chest tighten up.

It was making me feel like shit because I was confused as hell. Did Zander like me or not? Sometimes I thought he did, but others I swore he hated my guts.

I didn’t want to hear this anymore so I rested my head on the desk before me. I could feel eyes on me so I looked up over my arms to see Zander looking right at me. The tension in the room appeared fast. Zander realized I caught him and he spun around fast.

Again, I was confused. Sighing, I bury my head in my arms. I tried to block out the bug eyed ladies words because she was only making me feel worse. She was only making me more confused and right now I just really didn’t want to think about it.

~

“It’s ok babe, it’s Zander he’s the definition of confusing.”

“I know, that’s what makes it worse! That pretty much tells me I’m never going to find out what his deal is,” I growl, running my fingers through my hair.

All I wanted was to hear Zander say, I like you too. Is that too much to ask for? I guess so since he hasn’t said it yet, just shows it, then…un-shows it. I don’t know, damn it this sucks. It really sucks.

Cori and I said our good-byes and went our separate ways. Walking down the hall, I shoved my hands in my pockets. The halls were silent as I sighed and walked down to our room. I expected it to be empty when I opened the door, but instead I found Zander lying in his bed.

He was awake. It was obvious because when the door opened he stiffened and curled up further in the blankets. Biting my bottom lip I shut the door behind me and move to my bed where I kick off my shoes before grabbing the remote to turn on our TV.

Zander left later on that afternoon. I wasn’t sure where he went because I didn’t follow after him. The tension between us told me that we needed some time away from each other. I needed time to think and…I think he did too because right now things were too weird between us.

Too confusing.