Set Me Free

“Why hello there Zander, you look mighty beautiful today!”

“Fuck off Ollie.”

“Do you know you have beautiful eyes? I often find myself getting lost in them!”

“What part of fuck off don’t you understand?” Zander growled, throwing a cold glare that could freeze magma, my way.

Most people would run away screaming, but my mother always told me I was different. I actually find his glares seductive and I can’t help but jizz a little in my pants every time I see it. No wonder I have to buy so many new boxers! Zander forces me to ruin them all.

“You know you’re so hot when you’re angry,” I giggle like an obsessed high school girl, which I am except the girl part. I am proud to say that I have a dick. Zander only grumbles an insult at me before stomping off down the hall, leaving me in a daze.

I don’t know how long I stood there drooling, but I know it was long enough for it to form a puddle, that some girl tripped in, but like hell that I cared. I was still dreaming about having Zander all to myself…oh the things I’d do to that boy…

“Yo, Ollie, stop having wet day dreams about Zander!”

I whined, “Cori you ruined it!”

Cori, my bestie, stood next to me staring at the puddle I had made. She gave me a raised eyebrow and I shrugged before pointing my finger in the direction Zander had went. “He has an amazing ass.”

Cori sighed, “When are you going to give up on that boy?”

“Never!” I gasped, how dare she ask such a question? Me, give up, on Zander? Fuck to the no! That boy will be mine one day, even if we’re too old and wrinkly to have sex! It will happen I tell you, it will.

“You’re hopeless.” Cori shook her head from side to side.

“Actually.” I grin. “I’m hopeful.”

Cori screamed, something that she did often around me. People always told me that I had a far too optimistic attitude and that my energy matched that of the sun. Endless.

Cori began moving down the hall and I skipped happily after her. People stared, but not in the bad way. Everyone around here knew me as the happy ball of sunshine. I was always smiling, laughing, joking, and being nice to everyone and everything. The school has become used to my craziness and has accepted it a long time ago.

Now they all know, just to laugh at my silly antics and move on. Because if they don’t the cookie monster will eat them…roar…

“Hey Ollie, have you signed up for that field trip that?” Cori asked, her hand digging through her locker for something.

I rocked back and forth on my feet, my smile never leaving, as I thought that over. My tongue poked out the side of my mouth, making look like a six year old instead of 18 before I finally squeaked, “Nope!”

I whined when Cori began to hit me. I fell to the ground, curling up in a ball, while I screamed, “Rape! Mommy, mommy I need an adult! Rape I tell you, rape!”

Cori giggled, “Shut up you weirdo.”

I peaked out of my arms to see that Cori had lowered her weapon. Slowly, I uncurled myself and sat Indian style on the floor with a foxy grin while I spoke, “You know what sucks. Girls can get away with anything! They can get away with murder! And-and if they hit their husband it isn’t spouse abuse but if a guy hits their wife it’s spouse abuse! What the hell is up with that yo? So un-cool.”

Cori laughed at the pout I was sporting. “It’s because girls are awesome.”

“No, they’re just sluts and they sleep with the law!”

It only took a nanosecond for Cori to attack.

I screamed, but no one saved me. How rude!