Dear Black Goodbye
Dear Black Goodbye - Four
The school day seemed to just drag on. I hadn’t even been to my fourth class. I was thinking about skipping. It was only gym. I could get some kind of pass or just skip entirely. To bad neither of my options worked out. Now I was stuck watching the football team practice since their season was coming up very soon. So the coach, my gym teacher, thought he should take advantage of class and make it a practice. Well at least all I had to do is watch. Which I didn’t really do.
I sat there writing on the bleachers. It was only about half way through the hour long class. was thinking about just getting and bathroom pass and ditching. I loved writing though. It was my favorite hobby. Not poetry, no I couldn’t rhyme for crap. Just stories. That no one would ever read. I had five or six five subject notebooks at home filled with writing. Still I let no one read any of it. I’ve never even gone back to read what I wrote. I sat with my pen over my paper. Thinking of what to write next.
*Hey Maura. I have a question,* A voice said behind me. I turned around. There was Nicole Spencer, or Nicolette.
*What do you want?* I asked wishing she would leave me alone.
*Why the hell is your name Maura. I mean was your mother on crack when she had you?* She said. I turned my back away from her. I could hear her turn back to her group of gossiping girls. I got up to get a pass. Planning on skipping the rest of class. We weren’t doing anything anyways. I couldn’t stand Nicole. I couldn’t even believe we used to be friends. Yeah at one point in time I had friends other then Mio. It was in the fourth grade. The time when Mio, Frankie, and I had drifted apart. I could remember those days as if it were yesterday.
Flash Back
Nicole, or Nicky as I called her, were the best of friends. We were almost inseparable. We had our other friends too. It was around the time that cliques were being formed. The one I was in just happened to be gaining popularity. There was still no real pressure to fit in yet. I left Mio behind for these friends. That was a big mistake.
My little group loved to tease people. Not some thing I particularly liked. It was becoming like a favorite past time. To me this didn’t seem fair. We were picking on people for now reason. Maybe this was because I was a little to mature for my age. The other kids didn’t like that. I stayed quiet for my own safety though. I knew what it was like to be rejected, and I wanted to avoid that. One day they took it to far. It was stupid and immature, but they took it to far for me. We were in the playground on the swings. All of us had one, except Nicole. Apparently Mio was in hers.
*Mio your in my seat,* She said with an attitude.
*Uh your names not on it,* Mio replied. I started laughing as they threw stupid insults back and forth. I couldn’t help it. It was way to stupid. I got to my feet though hoping I could just end it.
*Nicky just take my swing,* I said. This was stupid even for a fourth grader.
*No sit back down Maura. It’s going to get up,* She said. The insult parade went on. Then I heard a squeal and looked back over. Mio was on the ground, her feet still attached to the swing. Nicole had pushed her off. I ran over to help Mio. I felt bad that I didn’t stop this. My group never mention the incident again. I knew they thought about it though. Then one day my worst thoughts came true.
*Maura we cant hang out any more,* Nicole said. She was looking at the ground like she didn’t want to do this.
*Why?* I asked.
*Cause your not cool enough to hang out with us. No one likes you anymore,* She said looking at her fake nails. Seriously what kid got fake nails in fourth grade? I just walked away form Nicole. Knowing things would never be the same.
End Flashback
I walked off the field to leave class. Throwing one last glance at Nicole and her group. She looked me in the eyes for the first time in years. Was the remorse in her eyes? Did she regret doing what she did? No, no the was ridiculous. I shook these thoughts out of my head and kept walking. I wondered where to go. No one was on the grounds. I headed into the parking lot, head down. Then I crashed into something, or someone. They helped me up.
*Funny how we keep meeting like this,* Gerard said. I laughed and looked at him. Right in those beautiful eyes.
I sat there writing on the bleachers. It was only about half way through the hour long class. was thinking about just getting and bathroom pass and ditching. I loved writing though. It was my favorite hobby. Not poetry, no I couldn’t rhyme for crap. Just stories. That no one would ever read. I had five or six five subject notebooks at home filled with writing. Still I let no one read any of it. I’ve never even gone back to read what I wrote. I sat with my pen over my paper. Thinking of what to write next.
*Hey Maura. I have a question,* A voice said behind me. I turned around. There was Nicole Spencer, or Nicolette.
*What do you want?* I asked wishing she would leave me alone.
*Why the hell is your name Maura. I mean was your mother on crack when she had you?* She said. I turned my back away from her. I could hear her turn back to her group of gossiping girls. I got up to get a pass. Planning on skipping the rest of class. We weren’t doing anything anyways. I couldn’t stand Nicole. I couldn’t even believe we used to be friends. Yeah at one point in time I had friends other then Mio. It was in the fourth grade. The time when Mio, Frankie, and I had drifted apart. I could remember those days as if it were yesterday.
Flash Back
Nicole, or Nicky as I called her, were the best of friends. We were almost inseparable. We had our other friends too. It was around the time that cliques were being formed. The one I was in just happened to be gaining popularity. There was still no real pressure to fit in yet. I left Mio behind for these friends. That was a big mistake.
My little group loved to tease people. Not some thing I particularly liked. It was becoming like a favorite past time. To me this didn’t seem fair. We were picking on people for now reason. Maybe this was because I was a little to mature for my age. The other kids didn’t like that. I stayed quiet for my own safety though. I knew what it was like to be rejected, and I wanted to avoid that. One day they took it to far. It was stupid and immature, but they took it to far for me. We were in the playground on the swings. All of us had one, except Nicole. Apparently Mio was in hers.
*Mio your in my seat,* She said with an attitude.
*Uh your names not on it,* Mio replied. I started laughing as they threw stupid insults back and forth. I couldn’t help it. It was way to stupid. I got to my feet though hoping I could just end it.
*Nicky just take my swing,* I said. This was stupid even for a fourth grader.
*No sit back down Maura. It’s going to get up,* She said. The insult parade went on. Then I heard a squeal and looked back over. Mio was on the ground, her feet still attached to the swing. Nicole had pushed her off. I ran over to help Mio. I felt bad that I didn’t stop this. My group never mention the incident again. I knew they thought about it though. Then one day my worst thoughts came true.
*Maura we cant hang out any more,* Nicole said. She was looking at the ground like she didn’t want to do this.
*Why?* I asked.
*Cause your not cool enough to hang out with us. No one likes you anymore,* She said looking at her fake nails. Seriously what kid got fake nails in fourth grade? I just walked away form Nicole. Knowing things would never be the same.
End Flashback
I walked off the field to leave class. Throwing one last glance at Nicole and her group. She looked me in the eyes for the first time in years. Was the remorse in her eyes? Did she regret doing what she did? No, no the was ridiculous. I shook these thoughts out of my head and kept walking. I wondered where to go. No one was on the grounds. I headed into the parking lot, head down. Then I crashed into something, or someone. They helped me up.
*Funny how we keep meeting like this,* Gerard said. I laughed and looked at him. Right in those beautiful eyes.