Dear Black Goodbye
Dear Black Goodbye - Seven
Frank’s POV
This Gerard person is very sketchy. I don’t like him one bit. Does any one care about my opinion? No of course not. Yes I know I’m acting like the misunderstood teen who isn’t at 14? Sitting here off in the corner. Just watching the party. Watching her. There was still something about Gerard. The way he hung all over her.
I’m talking about Maura when I say her. But you probably already knew that. It just wasn’t fair. I hated the way I act around her. All jackass like. It’s my fault our friend ship is gone. So far gone its never going to come back. I love her though, and she hates me. Yes I say love even though its such a strong word. The feelings I have for her are that strong. I guess I started loving her when she was around five. Even if I didn’t know it then. I sure as hell do now.
FLASH BACK
Maura sat on the swings. She was staring blankly out into the distance. Her red hair blown back from the wind. Black eyes blank and expressionless. I watched from a distance, not really understanding what I was feeling. I was only four at the time. This was just to complex for me. She got off the swing and walked toward me. We stood not even a foot apart. I had no clue what to do. She stood there just staring at me. A look of question was in her eyes. I still stood there with no clue. Then it came to me. I reached up and kissed her.
We broke apart. I still had that odd feeling in my stomach. Maura still stared at me. A faint smile was on her lips. I was just as nervous as before. Wondering if that was the right thing to do or not. Then she leaned down and kissed me again. There was a slight blush on her cheeks when she pulled away. She smiled and turned around walking back to the swings. I watched her walk away looking like an idiot.
END FLASH BACK
I thought on this memory often. It always gave me that weird feeling in my stomach. I really do love Maura too. Its gotten to the point where I cant date anyone else. My family probably thinks I’m gay. Its not like I haven’t tried dating around either. I just cant do it.
I must have gone on a million dates with a million different girls. I can never concentrate on them though. Always I compare them to Maura, always. I just need to see if their better then her. Which they never are. More then once I’ve called my date Maura instead of their actual name. I don’t even know why. My chances with her are completely shot.
I put my fingers to my lips. Hoping I could still feel hers there. Of course I couldn’t. that had almost ten years ago. Why did I have to be such a jackass to her? How come I couldn’t just be nice? She gave me so many chances. I blew them all. She has the right to hate me. Even the right to kick my ass and kick it good.
The whole party I watched her. I didn’t really drink. Only a beer or two. I mean really I’m only 14. Surprisingly I’m pretty responsible too. The rest of the people here obviously aren’t. They were all playing a drinking game now. Maura was getting pretty trashed. That’s not normal for her. She almost never drinks. She and Gerard were all over eachother. I couldn’t sit there and watch it anymore. So I told Mio I was leaving and left. I didn’t need to see anymore. I was jealous enough already
This Gerard person is very sketchy. I don’t like him one bit. Does any one care about my opinion? No of course not. Yes I know I’m acting like the misunderstood teen who isn’t at 14? Sitting here off in the corner. Just watching the party. Watching her. There was still something about Gerard. The way he hung all over her.
I’m talking about Maura when I say her. But you probably already knew that. It just wasn’t fair. I hated the way I act around her. All jackass like. It’s my fault our friend ship is gone. So far gone its never going to come back. I love her though, and she hates me. Yes I say love even though its such a strong word. The feelings I have for her are that strong. I guess I started loving her when she was around five. Even if I didn’t know it then. I sure as hell do now.
FLASH BACK
Maura sat on the swings. She was staring blankly out into the distance. Her red hair blown back from the wind. Black eyes blank and expressionless. I watched from a distance, not really understanding what I was feeling. I was only four at the time. This was just to complex for me. She got off the swing and walked toward me. We stood not even a foot apart. I had no clue what to do. She stood there just staring at me. A look of question was in her eyes. I still stood there with no clue. Then it came to me. I reached up and kissed her.
We broke apart. I still had that odd feeling in my stomach. Maura still stared at me. A faint smile was on her lips. I was just as nervous as before. Wondering if that was the right thing to do or not. Then she leaned down and kissed me again. There was a slight blush on her cheeks when she pulled away. She smiled and turned around walking back to the swings. I watched her walk away looking like an idiot.
END FLASH BACK
I thought on this memory often. It always gave me that weird feeling in my stomach. I really do love Maura too. Its gotten to the point where I cant date anyone else. My family probably thinks I’m gay. Its not like I haven’t tried dating around either. I just cant do it.
I must have gone on a million dates with a million different girls. I can never concentrate on them though. Always I compare them to Maura, always. I just need to see if their better then her. Which they never are. More then once I’ve called my date Maura instead of their actual name. I don’t even know why. My chances with her are completely shot.
I put my fingers to my lips. Hoping I could still feel hers there. Of course I couldn’t. that had almost ten years ago. Why did I have to be such a jackass to her? How come I couldn’t just be nice? She gave me so many chances. I blew them all. She has the right to hate me. Even the right to kick my ass and kick it good.
The whole party I watched her. I didn’t really drink. Only a beer or two. I mean really I’m only 14. Surprisingly I’m pretty responsible too. The rest of the people here obviously aren’t. They were all playing a drinking game now. Maura was getting pretty trashed. That’s not normal for her. She almost never drinks. She and Gerard were all over eachother. I couldn’t sit there and watch it anymore. So I told Mio I was leaving and left. I didn’t need to see anymore. I was jealous enough already