Status: Completed
I'll Never Say I Love You
17
I had the feeling that everyone had regretted the beach barbecue as soon as we arrived there the next day. Summer was winding down, the winds rolling in off the ocean becoming colder. I could feel goose bumps rising on my legs as Alex and I sat on a blanket watching Marie and Anne, Alex’s younger sisters, as they built sandcastles. I was sorely tempted to move to the back of the blanket and fold the front half onto my legs, but refrained. Alex was probably just the right temperature, and so he would burn up if I did it.
“Just do it, Tahara, I know you want to.”
I looked to my left to give Alex a questioning look, but he wasn’t there. It appeared that while I had been thinking of moving backwards, I had actually done it, and he was now sitting slight ahead of me. I poked my tongue out at him and pulled the blanket over my crossed legs as he scurried back.
“Maybe one of these days I’ll actually be able to read your mind,” he said. He put the first two fingers of both his hands to his temples and looked at me, his face filled with concentration. “You’re thinking that I look like an idiot,” he said mystically.
I laughed. ‘No, I was still thinking about how cold it is,’ I replied.
Alex dropped his hands. “Fine, don’t play along,” he said, deliberately sounding hurt.
I groaned. ‘Stop being an idiot and watch your sisters, okay?’
“Idiot! Oh yeah!”
I rolled my eyes at him. It was weird. Last night I promised myself that Alex and I would just be friends now, and I was surprised by how easy it was. I had expected my heart to argue and fight me every step of the way, but it was being surprisingly agreeable. It was weird to be just friends with Alex again; it had been just over three years since I had last been like this with him. I was amazed I was okay.
“So, you and Kyle kissed last night, huh?”
Staring straight ahead, I nodded in response.
Alex let out a low whistle. “My little Tahara’s growing up so fast,” he said dramatically. “Next thing I know, you’ll be going on dates with him.”
I threw him a warning glare.
“Chillax, Tarie,” he said, laughing. “I just want to know when I’m going to meet him.”
‘When you grow up,’ I replied.
“Dinner’s ready!” Mum called from the barbecue.
I waved to let her know I had heard. “Marie, Anne, time to come for dinner!” Alex called.
Both little girls came running. I walked over to where they had been playing to gather their things while Alex walked them up to the barbecue. I grabbed the blanket and began walking through the sand towards the stairs that would take me up to the barbecue. As I did, Alex flashed me that smile, and I nearly dropped everything I was carrying.
Okay, maybe this whole falling-out-of-love thing wasn’t going to go as smoothly as I had hoped.
***
When school started on Monday, I had expected things to be different. I had sort of expected the girls to run up to me and ask me if it was true that Kyle and I had kissed, I had sort of expected Kyle to seek me out straight away, and I had sort of expected that my girls would seek me out as well.
Nothing of the sort happened. I walked to my locker, sorted my books and walked to Science without any interruptions. Melissa arrived shortly after I did.
“Morning, Tahara,” she said with a smile. “Nice weekend?”
Okay, Melissa is the queen of gossip. If she isn’t discussing what happened Friday night with me, then did it really even happen?
“Tahara, are you with us?” Melissa asked, waving her hand across my face.
I shook my head to snap myself out of my thoughts. ‘Fine,’ I answered. ‘You?’
She sighed, dropping into her seat. “Horrible. Went to the movies with James yesterday, and it turns out he’s a total perve! He spent the majority of the two hours staring at my chest!”
‘Sorry.’
“Don’t worry; he’s the one who’s sorry now. I told him that I need a boyfriend who wants to spend time with me, not my girls.”
By the time Social Studies rolled around, I was even more confused. Not even Kate, who had been within a metre of Kyle and I when we had the first kiss, mentioned anything. What if nobody knew other than Kyle and myself? No, that was impossible; I had gotten abusive glares from the entire female population of the school the day after Kyle had asked me to the dance. Surely someone had seen the kiss, and word had spread faster than what it had last time?
When the bell rang and the four of us headed out for recess, I was beginning to think that no one knew. I wondered how I would tell them. Then I remembered that Alex knew. If Alex knew, then someone else had to know, right?
“Hey, sweetie,” a voice whispered in my left ear as I walked through the courtyard to get to my locker. I jumped, turned, and saw that Kyle had been following me.
I swatted him playfully.
“Yeah, I guess I deserved that,” he said. “Follow me; I have a surprise for you.”
He lightly grabbed my wrist and led me to the nearest table. He stepped up onto the bench and then onto the table, dragging me after him. I tripped slightly as I made the quick little jumps, but managed not to look like an idiot...I hope.
Kyle let out a loud whistle. “Attention, fellow students!” he yelled.
Amazingly enough, everyone in the courtyard turned and looked at him, and therefore at me as well. I could feel myself blushing so much that you could have fried an egg on my cheek.
“I would like to introduce everyone to my smart, beautiful girlfriend, Tahara Anderson!”
The students seemed to take no notice as they groaned, grumbled, mumbled and walked away. Kyle leapt straight down to the ground, and I followed him as three smiling faces rushed up to us.
“He made us promise not to tell, Tahara! He made us act all normal and crap so that he could surprise you! How romantic!” Melissa exclaimed.
I smiled at Kyle, who kissed me on the cheek. “I just wanted to do something special for you,” he explained.
“C’mon Tahara, we must talk about things!” Kate said, grabbing my wrist and beginning to drag me away.
“Yeah, she’ll see you in Home Ec, Kyle!” Melissa called as they pulled me to our table.
Now this was what I had been expecting.
***
“So he officially introduced you as his girlfriend?” Alex asked incredulously.
I nodded enthusiastically. It was after school and Alex and I were sitting on my bed eating lemon and chocolate cupcakes, Mum’s treat for the day. I had just finished telling him what had happened at recess, because it seemed like he was the only person in the school who hadn’t heard about it. Though, taking into consideration his self-appointed ‘big brother’ status when it came to my relationships, he had probably avoided hearing it at all costs.
‘Sure, no one except for my friends seemed to care, but it’s the thought that matters, right?’ I asked excitedly, and picked up a cupcake.
“Oh, it’s definitely the thought that matters,” Alex replied in a tone that implied he knew more than I did about the whole thing. His knowledge was like bait to me, a fish.
I put down my cupcake and bit the bait. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I asked.
‘It means that he’s getting serious about you,’ Alex explained.
‘You say that like it’s a bad thing,’ I told him, confused. ‘Besides that, why are you using sign language?’
“That’s because it is a bad thing,” Alex replied in a tone that made me feel stupid. I hated when he switched back and forth between speech and sign language – he had a habit of overlapping the two, saying two different things, and I simply couldn’t follow. Thankfully, this wasn’t one of those times. ‘And I’m using sign language because, believe me, you do not want your mother hearing that he’s getting serious about you.’ Ah, he’s back to sign language. ‘You see, when a chick gets serious about a relationship, nothing much happens because the majority of the male species are too insensitive to care about it, and yes, I realise that I just insulted my own gender but I don’t really care because it’s true. The point is, when a guy gets serious about his relationship, everything changes. You become less of a girlfriend and more property that he does intimate stuff with.’
I rolled my eyes at him. ‘Kyle’s not going to treat me like his property,’ I said. ‘Our relationship is just getting started; I’m sure he’s just announcing our relationship to brag to his meathead friends about it, and to tell the world that his girlfriend is the best person alive.’
Alex scoffed. “Sure you are, Tarie,” he said. “I’m sure you are.”
I picked up a cupcake and ignored him.
“Just do it, Tahara, I know you want to.”
I looked to my left to give Alex a questioning look, but he wasn’t there. It appeared that while I had been thinking of moving backwards, I had actually done it, and he was now sitting slight ahead of me. I poked my tongue out at him and pulled the blanket over my crossed legs as he scurried back.
“Maybe one of these days I’ll actually be able to read your mind,” he said. He put the first two fingers of both his hands to his temples and looked at me, his face filled with concentration. “You’re thinking that I look like an idiot,” he said mystically.
I laughed. ‘No, I was still thinking about how cold it is,’ I replied.
Alex dropped his hands. “Fine, don’t play along,” he said, deliberately sounding hurt.
I groaned. ‘Stop being an idiot and watch your sisters, okay?’
“Idiot! Oh yeah!”
I rolled my eyes at him. It was weird. Last night I promised myself that Alex and I would just be friends now, and I was surprised by how easy it was. I had expected my heart to argue and fight me every step of the way, but it was being surprisingly agreeable. It was weird to be just friends with Alex again; it had been just over three years since I had last been like this with him. I was amazed I was okay.
“So, you and Kyle kissed last night, huh?”
Staring straight ahead, I nodded in response.
Alex let out a low whistle. “My little Tahara’s growing up so fast,” he said dramatically. “Next thing I know, you’ll be going on dates with him.”
I threw him a warning glare.
“Chillax, Tarie,” he said, laughing. “I just want to know when I’m going to meet him.”
‘When you grow up,’ I replied.
“Dinner’s ready!” Mum called from the barbecue.
I waved to let her know I had heard. “Marie, Anne, time to come for dinner!” Alex called.
Both little girls came running. I walked over to where they had been playing to gather their things while Alex walked them up to the barbecue. I grabbed the blanket and began walking through the sand towards the stairs that would take me up to the barbecue. As I did, Alex flashed me that smile, and I nearly dropped everything I was carrying.
Okay, maybe this whole falling-out-of-love thing wasn’t going to go as smoothly as I had hoped.
***
When school started on Monday, I had expected things to be different. I had sort of expected the girls to run up to me and ask me if it was true that Kyle and I had kissed, I had sort of expected Kyle to seek me out straight away, and I had sort of expected that my girls would seek me out as well.
Nothing of the sort happened. I walked to my locker, sorted my books and walked to Science without any interruptions. Melissa arrived shortly after I did.
“Morning, Tahara,” she said with a smile. “Nice weekend?”
Okay, Melissa is the queen of gossip. If she isn’t discussing what happened Friday night with me, then did it really even happen?
“Tahara, are you with us?” Melissa asked, waving her hand across my face.
I shook my head to snap myself out of my thoughts. ‘Fine,’ I answered. ‘You?’
She sighed, dropping into her seat. “Horrible. Went to the movies with James yesterday, and it turns out he’s a total perve! He spent the majority of the two hours staring at my chest!”
‘Sorry.’
“Don’t worry; he’s the one who’s sorry now. I told him that I need a boyfriend who wants to spend time with me, not my girls.”
By the time Social Studies rolled around, I was even more confused. Not even Kate, who had been within a metre of Kyle and I when we had the first kiss, mentioned anything. What if nobody knew other than Kyle and myself? No, that was impossible; I had gotten abusive glares from the entire female population of the school the day after Kyle had asked me to the dance. Surely someone had seen the kiss, and word had spread faster than what it had last time?
When the bell rang and the four of us headed out for recess, I was beginning to think that no one knew. I wondered how I would tell them. Then I remembered that Alex knew. If Alex knew, then someone else had to know, right?
“Hey, sweetie,” a voice whispered in my left ear as I walked through the courtyard to get to my locker. I jumped, turned, and saw that Kyle had been following me.
I swatted him playfully.
“Yeah, I guess I deserved that,” he said. “Follow me; I have a surprise for you.”
He lightly grabbed my wrist and led me to the nearest table. He stepped up onto the bench and then onto the table, dragging me after him. I tripped slightly as I made the quick little jumps, but managed not to look like an idiot...I hope.
Kyle let out a loud whistle. “Attention, fellow students!” he yelled.
Amazingly enough, everyone in the courtyard turned and looked at him, and therefore at me as well. I could feel myself blushing so much that you could have fried an egg on my cheek.
“I would like to introduce everyone to my smart, beautiful girlfriend, Tahara Anderson!”
The students seemed to take no notice as they groaned, grumbled, mumbled and walked away. Kyle leapt straight down to the ground, and I followed him as three smiling faces rushed up to us.
“He made us promise not to tell, Tahara! He made us act all normal and crap so that he could surprise you! How romantic!” Melissa exclaimed.
I smiled at Kyle, who kissed me on the cheek. “I just wanted to do something special for you,” he explained.
“C’mon Tahara, we must talk about things!” Kate said, grabbing my wrist and beginning to drag me away.
“Yeah, she’ll see you in Home Ec, Kyle!” Melissa called as they pulled me to our table.
Now this was what I had been expecting.
***
“So he officially introduced you as his girlfriend?” Alex asked incredulously.
I nodded enthusiastically. It was after school and Alex and I were sitting on my bed eating lemon and chocolate cupcakes, Mum’s treat for the day. I had just finished telling him what had happened at recess, because it seemed like he was the only person in the school who hadn’t heard about it. Though, taking into consideration his self-appointed ‘big brother’ status when it came to my relationships, he had probably avoided hearing it at all costs.
‘Sure, no one except for my friends seemed to care, but it’s the thought that matters, right?’ I asked excitedly, and picked up a cupcake.
“Oh, it’s definitely the thought that matters,” Alex replied in a tone that implied he knew more than I did about the whole thing. His knowledge was like bait to me, a fish.
I put down my cupcake and bit the bait. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I asked.
‘It means that he’s getting serious about you,’ Alex explained.
‘You say that like it’s a bad thing,’ I told him, confused. ‘Besides that, why are you using sign language?’
“That’s because it is a bad thing,” Alex replied in a tone that made me feel stupid. I hated when he switched back and forth between speech and sign language – he had a habit of overlapping the two, saying two different things, and I simply couldn’t follow. Thankfully, this wasn’t one of those times. ‘And I’m using sign language because, believe me, you do not want your mother hearing that he’s getting serious about you.’ Ah, he’s back to sign language. ‘You see, when a chick gets serious about a relationship, nothing much happens because the majority of the male species are too insensitive to care about it, and yes, I realise that I just insulted my own gender but I don’t really care because it’s true. The point is, when a guy gets serious about his relationship, everything changes. You become less of a girlfriend and more property that he does intimate stuff with.’
I rolled my eyes at him. ‘Kyle’s not going to treat me like his property,’ I said. ‘Our relationship is just getting started; I’m sure he’s just announcing our relationship to brag to his meathead friends about it, and to tell the world that his girlfriend is the best person alive.’
Alex scoffed. “Sure you are, Tarie,” he said. “I’m sure you are.”
I picked up a cupcake and ignored him.