I'll Never Say I Love You

Being in a relationship was fantastic. It had been just over two months since the Valentines Dance now, and I couldn’t be happier. Kyle showered me with affection, which did wonders for my ego and my confidence. He was also a gentleman. If we were walking into a room together, he would hold the door open for me. He was courteous and polite to my friends whenever their paths crossed. He told me how beautiful I was on a regular basis, even more so when I dressed up for our movie and dinner dates. He was a great kisser. He wasn’t pressuring me to do anything I didn’t want to do or move faster than I wanted to. He was sympathetic and understanding whenever I was being a hormonal bitch because it was that time of month and I hadn’t eaten enough chocolate to have the ability to treat him like a human being as opposed to a doormat.

There was just one problem.

“Hello, sweetie pie,” Kyle said, taking my hand in his and kissing my cheek. It was Monday afternoon, and I was waiting outside the library for Alex when Kyle had arrived to greet me as he normally did before I went on my way with Alex. “Enjoy Math?”

I shrugged. I like Math, I find Math excessively easy, but can one ever really enjoy it? I took my hand out of his. ‘You?’

“Well, I didn’t fail last week’s test, but I didn’t exactly pass with flying colours.”

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Alex walking over. I braced myself as he called out my name. Kyle turned, saw Alex, and grabbed my right hand in his left. Turning so that he was in front of me, facing me as opposed to standing to my right, he used his free right hand to lean against the wall, effectively pinning me between him and the wall. He dropped my hand, bought that hand up to cup my cheek, and pressed his lips against mine, kissing me passionately.

You may be wondering why this is a problem for me. I like the passion, and I like the kissing. What I don’t like is the fact that Kyle always does this specifically when he sees Alex approaching. Only Alex; any other guy was fine. Seriously, he’s like a dog marking his territory, only instead of pissing on me he kisses me. I don’t know why he does it. Maybe he’s just proving to the three of us that I am his girlfriend, not Alex’s, to shut those rumours down. You see, Alex hasn’t had a public girlfriend since Hannah broke up with him, which has led to rumours that I am cheating on Kyle with him, and that’s why he has remained publicly single. Kyle has told me that he believes me when I say the rumours are full of it, but his actions beg to differ.

Kyle pulled away, flashed a very quick smirk at Alex (who was now standing next to me), and turned back to me. He smiled warmly, the different colours in his eyes dancing. Swoon. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay babe?”

I nodded, bring my hands up. ‘See you then,’ I replied.

Kyle kissed me on the cheek and walked away. Alex let out a low whistle and leaned against the wall next to me. “I thought you were going to talk to him about those rumours?”

I pushed myself off the wall and glared at Alex. ‘I have. I don’t know where his mind’s at on this one.’

Alex went into a position that was half surfing, half crouching. It looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it. “We have just seen Kyle, the dominant male of the Clindon Senior School pride,” he said in a soft British accent. I realised the position now – that classic animal documentary present position as they introduced a new, dangerous species. “Kyle was using his dominant male status to reiterate his possession of Tahara, one of the females in the pride. Kyle partakes in this territory defining behaviour whenever he feels his control over Tahara is being threatened by Alex.”

I let out a noise that was a surprisingly feminine combination of a sigh and a grunt and walked past Alex towards our lockers. Okay, maybe Kyle’s slight overprotectiveness of our relationship wasn’t the only problem I was having. There was also the fact that Alex didn’t seem to like Kyle at all. It wasn’t like he spoke about how much of a dick Kyle was all the time, but whenever he was presented with an opportunity to point out Kyle’s faults, he didn’t hold back at all.

“Tahara!” Alex protested, jostling his way through the crowds to get to me as quickly as he could.

Lucky me, I could now make my way through crowds quickly. I had been training myself to see gaps and judge distances and necessary times and take advantage of what I was given. By the time I made it through the crowd, Alex was barely halfway. I let out a small laugh, making sure he saw it, and walked to the lockers. I leaned against mine, smug, waiting for Alex to arrive.

“That was low, Tahara,” he said as he arrived.

I shrugged. ‘I have these skills, I might as well use them,’ I replied. ‘It’s not my fault you won’t let me teach you.’

Alex gave me a confused look. “Who the hell are you?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

Now I was the one looking confused. ‘What do you mean, Alex?’ I asked.

Alex groaned. “Tahara, over the past few months I have watched you go from a sweet, naive little girl into some confident, mean-spirited person I’m not sure I know.”

I bit my lip. I knew that some aspects of me had changed, but I didn’t think it had been bothering Alex at all. He hadn’t mentioned anything. I knew that some traits Kyle had, such as being confident, had been rubbing off on me, but I didn’t think I was as bad as what Alex told me he thought Kyle was. Alex’s opinion of Kyle was that he was confident to the point of being almost permanently arrogant and cocky. As for me being mean-spirited...I wasn’t mean-spirited and neither was Kyle. That angered me.

‘You’re a liar!’ I accused. ‘I am not mean-spirited! Yes, I have become more confident since I started dating Kyle, but that is not a bad thing! You know how scared and shy I have always been; finally being confident to do the things I want to do for once is good for me and you damn well know it! As for being mean-spirited, I apologise if I treat you like crap every now and then, but you’re doing the exact same thing to my boyfriend! Stop hating on my changing for the better just because you hate him, Alex!’

Alex gave me a blank look as he watched my tirade. I simply glared at him. I don’t think I’ve ever been that mad at me in my life, but it was his fault. So what if I was getting more confident; I was happy. Isn’t that what mattered?

Now Alex was biting his lip. “You’re right, Tarie,” he admitted eventually. “I just...you know how I feel about Kyle, and to see you changing into someone like him is just killing me. If it keeps going you won’t be my Tarie anymore and that possibility terrifies me.”

I gave him a sympathetic look. ‘So you’re getting angry at me to cover up your own insecurities. Cute.’

Alex smiled at me. “Classic Tarie,” he said. “You know, I have one way we could solve all this.”

I raised a curious eyebrow.

“Introduce me.”

I groaned. Yes, it had been two months and I still hadn’t formally introduced Kyle and Alex to one another, nor had Kyle met my parents. I hadn’t even brought up the idea of such an event with Kyle, and he didn’t seem to mind at all. I hadn’t expected Alex to bring it up. It wasn’t that I was scared of all of them meeting one another, exactly; I was worried. Worried that Kyle and Alex wouldn’t get along (which I had a sneaking suspicion they wouldn’t), worried that Kyle and my parents wouldn’t get along, worried that Alex and my parents would gang up and emotionally abuse Kyle, and worried that Kyle would dump me.

Honestly, I don’t know where I find the time to do my schoolwork with all these worries.

‘That will happen when it happens,’ I told Alex firmly. ‘Now, let’s put the idiocy and madness that has been this afternoon behind us and get ready to go home.’

Unfortunately, Alex didn’t drop it. He must have spoken to my parents. More likely, he just spoke to Mum and Mum spoke to Dad, because once Dad got home from work the next evening they both spoke to me, while Alex stood nearby and smirked at me.

“Tahara, you and this Kyle character have been dating for two months now. We think it’s about time we met him,” Dad said firmly.

I groaned. ‘What does it even matter, Dad?’ I asked. ‘He’ll meet you one day; why must we rush it?’

“Because we need to make sure he’s a good person before you two get any more involved in your relationship,” Mum answered.

‘Mum, we’re just teenagers, how much more involved do you think we’re going to get?’ I asked.

Mum and Dad exchanged a glance, and I braced myself. Every teenager child knows that parents exchanging a glance is never a good thing.

“Tahara, have you had sex yet?” Dad asked slowly.