I'll Never Say I Love You

The drive to the Smith house went quicker with Bec than what it did with Dad, because Bec sped the whole way there. I was used to her erratic driving, even if I didn’t like it. She screeched to a halt in front of the house and jumped out in the same instant, obviously excited to get out and display her newest model. I got out and followed her to the front door, which opened before we got anywhere near it. I smiled expectantly, but it wasn’t Alex. It was Sandy. Sandy has long blonde curls with brown eyes. Compared to her kids, she’s rather short, only around my height. She’s also stick thin, thinner than me.

“Wow, Bec, you did a good job,” she said approvingly, looking me up and down. “The hair looks great.”

“Thanks, Mum,” Bec replied, sounding proud. I snuck a glance at her. If people really did swell with pride, then my guess would be that right now she would be bigger than a hot air balloon.

“Tahara, I can’t remember the last time I saw you wearing something that wasn’t black, other than your school uniform,” Sandy said to me, smiling.

I blushed.

“You’re going to have to get used to the attention, Tahara,” Bec said in a sing-song voice.

I poked my tongue out at her. The three of us walked into the house, and I wondered why Alex hadn’t come down yet. Surely he knew I was here? I walked up the stairs and into Alex’s room. He wasn’t there, so I sat down on his bed to wait. Alex’s room is a typical guy’s room: clothes, both dirty and clean, everywhere; the bed, with its blue spread, was only half made; the desk was littered with schoolwork and CDs; and the shelves were filled with random items in no apparent order. He knew I hated it, but he never did anything because he knew I would tolerate it.

The things we do for love.

I had just sat down when the door opened. I looked, and had to bite my tongue to stop my jaw from dropping. Alex stood there, wearing nothing except a towel around his waist. I almost gasped when I saw his muscled chest and abs. Sure, it wasn’t the first time I had seen it, but like that smile, it got me every time.

“Wow,” he said breathlessly when he saw me. I could see the surprise on his face, but more importantly than that, his jaw actually dropped. I could feel myself blushing, and my heartbeat began to go crazy.

‘Yes?’ I signed expectantly.

“Tarie, you look...fantastic,” he said breathlessly. “C’mon, give us a twirl.”

I stood up and spun quickly, almost tripping on my heels but catching my balance at the last minute. I smiled when I saw the delight on his face. ‘Bec did a good job,’ I signed.

“No kidding.” He looked down at himself. “I guess I’d better find some clothes and get dressed,” he said, looking around the room. He walked over to the desk and grabbed the t-shirt and jeans on there. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he said, smiling at me, and walked out of the room.

As soon as I was sure he was gone, I collapsed back onto the bed and tried to calm down my heartbeat. He liked it. His jaw had dropped! Was this new hair and this new outfit really good enough to make him go crazy over me?
If that was true, then it was all worth it.

***

By the time Bec pulled up in front of Ray Jenson’s house I was shaking with nerves. People wouldn’t recognise me, so the spotlight would be on me. I wasn’t used to attention. Normally people went out of their way to ignore me. I was the emo-looking, mute freak no one wanted to be friends with. Why Kate, Alex and the rest of my friends had befriended me was beyond my comprehension.

“Alex, do you need a ride home?” Bec asked.

“Uh...” Alex looked at me. “Reckon your mum would be able to take me home?”

I nodded.

Alex turned back to Bec. “Mandy will bring me home,” he said to her.

“Right then,” Bec replied as we hopped out of the ute. I stumbled, but regained my balance before Bec or Alex noticed. We closed our doors and Bec drove off.

Alex and I walked towards the large house together, hearing music playing from the backyard. We were barely halfway when we were joined by Hannah Stin, who Alex was dating. Looking at the type of girls he dated always upset me a little, because they were always gorgeous. Hannah had olive skin, wavy brown hair and narrow brown eyes. She was short, busty and thin.

“Hey, baby,” she said, giving Alex a peck on the cheek as we all stopped walking. “You ready to go?”

“Uh, sure,” Alex said, taking her hand in his. He turned to me. “I’ll see you out here at ten.”

I gave him the thumbs up and he walked away. Hannah turned and glared at me. I gave her a ‘What the hell have I done to you?’ look and she turned around, walking away with Alex. I saw her lean closer to Alex.

“Who was that with you?” she asked quietly, but not quietly enough – I had excellent hearing.

Alex laughed. “Tahara, of course,” he answered.

I followed them slowly, dreading having to see everyone. I didn’t want to deal with the stares and whispers when everyone asked everyone who I was. But, like Bec had said earlier, I would have to grow used to it. I walked through the Jenson’s house and into the backyard. The patio was already crowded when I reached it. There were some people in the pool, and some, such as Kate and my other friends, sitting at the tables that had been set up around the backyard. People looked at me casually, then did a double take when they realised they had no idea who I was. I blushed, ducking my head so that my curls covered my face, though not as well as what my straight hair had.

I hurried towards Kate and the others, finding a seat and trying to ignore the stares and whispers that were spreading through the people.

“Can we help you?” Melissa James asked. Out of the corner of the eye and a gap in my curls, I could see her concerned blue eyes.

There was a gasp. “Holy shit, Tahara, is that you?” Kate whispered. I gave her the thumbs up.

A gasp went around the table and I looked up. “Tahara, what did you do?” Janice Young asked with a low whistle. Her brown eyes lit up as she smiled. “You look slamming.”

“Alex’s sister Bec gave her a makeover,” Kate explained. “She’s right, Tahara, you look awesome, Bec did a great job.”

‘Thanks,’ I signed, smiling weakly. Obviously people saw this, as I heard an increase in the whispers behind me. I tried to pick out what people were saying, but they were too quiet.

“I can barely believe you’re the same person,” Melissa exclaimed. “Who would have known that this babe was hiding underneath all that black?”

“This is the first time I’ve seen you wearing colour, like, ever,” Kate said. “You bought new clothes as well? Without me? How many?” She fired the questions at me as though I was a fox during hunting season and she was an avid hunter with a really fast firing gun.

‘She did,’ I signed. ‘Lots of them.’

“Bec bought you new clothes?” Kate asked. “Wow. She really was begging for this, wasn’t she?”

I laughed. ‘I guess,’ I answered.

The conversation carried on, with the girls discussing my new look. They all seemed pleased with it, which made me happy. Their opens mattered a lot. Soon, thankfully, the conversation moved to gossiping about the people there. I, however, don’t much care for gossiping.

‘Anyone want a drink?’ I asked, standing up.

“Cola would be great,” Melissa said, smiling.

“Same here,” Janice agreed. Kate merely smiled and held up her water bottle.

I walked over to the esky on the patio, grateful that people were no longer staring. Everyone now knew that the chick with the bushfire on her scalp was boring old Tahara. People flicked glances over every now and again, but no one spoke to me about it. I was glad for the lack of attention.

I knelt down to dig through the esky to look for some cola, the ice freezing my hands. Eventually I found two cans, and placed them on the ground while I dried my hands. Once my hands were no longer trembling, I picked up the cans and stood up. I turned to walk towards my friends, but was blocked by someone in my path.

I didn’t recognise who was in my way. He was taller than me – then again, who wasn’t in this town – and bulging with muscles. He wore blue jeans and a white button-up shirt. His skin was a light brown colour, as though he was tanned, but I could tell it was his natural skin colour. I looked into his eyes, brown but flecked with spots of green and blue. His face was long, with a strong jaw. His hair was brown and cut short. He was cute, very cute.

“Hi,” he said, sounding nervous.

Not having my hands free, I simply smiled.

“I’m Kyle,” he said, smiling back. “I just moved here.”

I nodded. That explained why I didn’t know him, but it also meant that he didn’t know that I didn’t speak. I felt terrible for him. He was probably thinking I was being a snob.

“So, what’s your name?” he asked casually, leaning his weight on one leg.

Dear gosh, this guy was cute!