Fake

I guess it’s not too uncommon that you find yourself kissing your best friend. But kissing your best friend that’s a guy… that’s not so common. One minute we’re talking about the past and the next minute, I find myself leaning in closer and closer, entranced my his small, cute smile and the way his pink lips just seemed so inviting. Not to mention now that Nicole was out of the picture Joni could focus all his attention on the things he needs instead of what she needs. Because we all know she’s a bitch who’s been sucking the life out of Joni.

Besides that, though, I have no idea why I kissed him. Comfort maybe? I mean, the chick he’s been going out with for two fucking years has been fucking some guy on the side for God-knows-how-long. Maybe I wanted to show him I still cared about him. Deeply so, I might add. I mean, he was the sole reason I was even still here in this disgusting town.

I have no idea if I was blushing or not as I pulled away. Being the courageous person I am, I was able to look Joni in the eyes afterward. I needed to search for something, anything. I don’t want to destroy our friendship so I’m hoping that he didn’t look disgusted. But as far as I could see, his brown eyes meekly staring back at me under his bleached fringe. His cheeks were dusted with a dark pink.

I wasn’t afraid of what he was going to say. If he was angry at me, if he hated me, I’d leave and he’d never hear from me again. If that was what he wanted.

Suddenly, I felt like I’d do anything for him, not that I wouldn’t have before. What the hell is wrong with me? My emotions feel like they’re running haywire. I didn’t know what I wanted or what I was going to do in my life from this point on.

Funny how a kiss can change everything so drastically.

I felt myself breathing again, my breath hitting Joni’s pale face. We were still so close. Close enough to- But suddenly my body was moving before my brain told it to and my lips were back on Joni’s. Softly, gently, our lips molded together as my eyes shut.

I don’t even care about leaving anymore. In fact, I just want to stay here, with him. I don’t care if he wants nothing to do with me, I’m staying here, damn it.

It was only an innocent kiss between us, but I felt mentally and physically drained. Pulling away was a smooth process, but we were further away than the previous time.

“I-I… Lucas…,” He breathed. His face was graced with so many nameless emotions.

“Please don’t say you hate me,” I was aware of the pleading tone in my voice. I don’t plead, I never plead or beg. My emotions were in knots though so if didn’t feel like it mattered.

“I-I don’t… b-but… why…?” He stuttered. Every tensed muscle relaxed and my mind was put at ease by that. I don’t know what I’d do if he hated me. I really don’t.

“I don’t know. I just felt like it,” I told him. It wasn’t like it was a complete lie. I really didn’t know.

Quietly, he dipped his feet back into the lake. I spun and joined him with my feet in the lake too. “Are you going to ignore me?” I wouldn’t blame you if you did.

“N-no… I just… I don’t kn-know what to say…” He kicked up some water before turning to me.

“Are you glad I’m here?” I questioned, looking back at him.

He twisted to look at me, his eyebrows bent. “Of course! You’re my best friend,” he said, stutter-free, like it was the single thing he was the most sure of.

Now came the difficult question. “Do you…” I couldn’t even get it out.

“Hmm…?” His expression looked a little worried.

“…want to be… more than friends…?” I asked. There was so much difficulty in just asking that one question.

“I-I don’t know…,” he said, looking sad. “I j-just broke up w-with Nicole and… I shouldn’t care about her because of… you know… but i-it was such a shock…”

I smiled at him before saying, “I think that’s the most you’ve spoken since you started speaking.”

There was a half-smile on his face and he looked back down at his feet him the water before his shyly kicked at it. “Yeah… I-I guess so…”

“If you don’t want me here, I’ll leave. Remember, you’re the only reason I’m even staying here,” I reminded him.

“No! P-please don’t go. I-I… I need you,” he said, forcing me to wrap my arms securely around him.

When I pulled away from the hug, I said, “Should… start a trial relationship…? It’ll get your mind off Nicole.”

“Wh-what do you mean…?”

“We’ll go out for… say two weeks. If we find that it’s not working, we end it and go back to being just friends and forget it ever happened,”

“Just ’friends’?”

“Okay, okay, best friends,” I said, chuckling. On the outside I was laughing, but I was terrified of what his answer was. I wanted to be more, I wanted to fill whatever void he was hiding in his heart.

“W-We can t-try,” he answered.