Once a Fragile Design

“Did he really say that?” Sierra asked, staring at Becca and Acey as I felt a laugh exit my mouth. Kennedy is a strange, strange boy.

“Yes! Rox, your boyfriend is so weird,” Acey told with a small smile on her lips, I just nodded knowing it is true.

“Alright enough about boys, Acey dear, how the fuck are you?” Vicky asked, I just sat back and watched Acey shrug. She knows everyone here as I’m just stuck being the oddball. I hate the fact that I’ve never toured and that I’ve never met half of the people Acey’s met.

“I’m good, I guess.” Acey shrugged. Despite the cold she sat down on the pavement and lit up a cigarette.

“Just good? Damn Acey, you’re dating John O’Callaghan, he’s always wanted you! At least, that’s what he told me when I first met him,” Vicky mused laughing slightly as Acey just shrugged.

“I guess, it’s just weird, you know? What’s really going to happen now?”

“He’s not going to fuck up what you have Acey,” I clenched my jaw, she doesn’t even like him. I can tell. She never did.

“I don’t know. I have my doubts.” I glared, I stood up from my spot and began to walk away. “Roxii what the fuck did I do?”

“You are so blind you can’t fucking see you have one of the greatest guys at your fingertips. You have your doubts that John’s always wanted you? He’d rather have you, someone who doesn’t care about him than m-someone who does.”

“Who someone like you?” She was now facing me, if we were the same height we’d be nose to nose, chest to chest. “What would it matter, Roxanne? You have Kennedy. Or aren’t you happy with him?” I couldn’t even respond. I was being pulled back, I looked over my shoulder to see Becca holding me with a small apologetic smile playing on her lips. Sierra had Acey who was shaking, holding a cigarette between her lips.

“Come on Roxii, we can get to know each other and you can calm down.” I nodded reluctantly as Becca and I walked away from where Acey was. Becca and I walked towards the bus, we walked on to see Pat and Jared playing video games in the back lounge so Becca decided that the front lounge was better for talking.

“So what was that back there?” Becca turned so she was facing me, I looked over to see that Pat and Jared couldn’t even notice us so I sighed before spilling everything. And when I mean everything I mean from when I started liking John to about five minutes ago.

“And so I just guessed Acey doesn’t like John and it kind of bugs me. I can’t get over him right now.” Becca stared at me before blinking and nodded, she chuckled a little before looking at me with a smile.

“You should really talk this out with Acey, she’s not that hardheaded. I mean, I’ve known her a little less than you have but I remember her telling me about you last summer. She told me that you’re her best friend and she hated keeping things from you. But most of all, she hated hurting your feelings.” I bit my lip, pulling one leg towards my chest so I was resting my chin on that knee.

“I guess. I don’t know. I can’t bring myself to it. I just see how John is so happy with her and I don’t want to hurt Kennedy either.” Becca nodded but suddenly she looked up with a bright smile on her face, she laughed while rubbing her hands together like a lunatic.

“You know, I think tonight’s party might help this decision along. Yes, tonight there will be a party half in the parking lot and half on Boys Like Girl’s bus. Let fate take control.” I just stared at Becca like she was completely nuts but then I just nodded, giving in.

“Sure, let the party begin.” Becca smiled, hugging me tightly before telling me that we should talk more. I just went with it.

--

Once it was darker out people began drinking and partying between buses and the parking lot. It had to be slightly quiet so the music played on busses and the drinking mostly took place outside. I found myself drinking a beer, walking around trying to look for something to do; someone to talk to.

“Roxii!” I heard someone call my name, I turned around to see Vicky walking towards me with a small smile on her face. “Roxii, I’m so sorry for practically causing that fight earlier. I didn’t mean to cause Acey to say things that pissed you off.”

“It’s okay, really. Becca and I talked about it and I’m trying to find Acey.” Vicky nodded, she pointed over towards Boys Like Girls’ bus with a small smile on her face.

“I last saw her over there fighting with Martin about him wanting her to photograph the band.” I laughed, knowing Acey hated when people asked besides the Maine and Rocket. I thanked Vicky before walking towards the bus, I passed Garrett and Becca talking and I winked to her. She admitted she kind of liked Garrett but never really talked to him last summer. I saw John staring at his phone, a beer in the other hand at his side. His facial expression held confusion, I took in a deep breath before chugging the rest of my beer. I got the courage and walked up to him.

“What’s up John?” John looked up at me, his face still held confusion and I bit my lip.

“This,” John held up his phone, a text message held on the screen and I read it.

“I don’t think I could do this tour.” I read out loud, I saw Acey’s name above the message with a little less than three as a heart next to it. I decided not to let it bother me, it was cute how he likes her so much. “Where is she?” John shrugged, he put his phone in his pocket while taking a drink of his beer. He ran his now free hand through his hair and looked at me with the saddest smile I’ve ever seen.

“I don’t know but I’m afraid to look for her. Did I do something wrong?”

“No John, you could never do anything wrong. I’ll go find her.” John smiled before pulling me towards his body and hugging me tightly.

“Thank you Roxii, seriously, you’re my best friend because you’re always there for me.” I smiled while nodding.

“No problem John,” I tipped my empty bottle of beer to him indicating I’ll see him later and began to walk off. I discarded my bottle at a trash can and got myself a new one, I walked around before I spotted Acey sitting near a white van with Sierra sitting next to her. It looked as if Acey was crying, her knees were brought to her chest and her forehead rested on her knees. Sierra had a hand rubbing her back, I could barely see her lips moving but I know she was trying to console her. I got closer, standing in front of them and Sierra looked up at me with a small smile on her face. She stopped rubbing Acey’s back causing Acey to look up at me.

“What do you want?” Her voice was cold and hoarse, in the small light we had her face was glistening with tears. I saw her shiver before putting her head back on her knees, I heard the small sob and I silently motioned Sierra to leave. She nodded before walking off.

“Acey I’m so fucking sorry about earlier. I don’t care if you and John date anymore, I have Kennedy and I should just be happy with him. He’s sweet and he likes me a lot. But why don’t you like John? I mean he’d do anything for you in a heartbeat and he’s so much better than any other boy you’ve ever got with. When John showed me your text I wanted to cry, you can’t leave me on this tour Acey. I’m not going to go all mother on you and say you have a responsibility to the Maine and Rocket but I am gonna go best friend on you. You need to stay, you’re going to hurt so many people if you leave. Not just John or me, but what about Becca or Sierra? How about Jared, Pat, Garrett, Kennedy, Justin, Jimmy or Andrew? What about Tim, even? Who am I gonna torment him with? Please, Acey talk to me.”

“All that this tour has done is cause drama, not only between you and me but I’m just pissed off at everyone,” she started, taking my beer from my hands and drinking it hungrily. “It’s just I don’t want to be the tour photographer for fucking everyone, Martin thinks just because he’s so fucking famous he could control me. I yelled at him and ended up getting Paul and Jared mad at me while doing so because they thought I was just gonna photograph John all the time. I mean, Paul and I get along but Jared! Jared got mad at me like I’m not being a good friend. This tour isn’t for me. I should have gone to fucking college.”

“I don’t think you and college would have mixed, you’re an amazing photographer and you do well making money from it. Fuck Martin, he sounds like a woman when he sings anyways.” Acey laughed a little, staring off in a different direction.

“I think if I left things would get better. I mean, you and I wouldn’t fight over this stupid boy shit. And then no one will fight over me taking pictures of them.”

“Acey, if you leave you’d break John’s heart.” Acey stayed silent, I sipped my beer before I had a thought. “You don’t like John because you like Kennedy don’t you?”

“W-what makes you think that?” I laughed softly, Acey looked at me with a confused face.

“We wouldn’t have fought today if we both liked the people we’re dating.” Acey laughed a little, wiping her eyes as she did so.

“It would help if we did, so I guess you like John don’t you?”

“I did but Becca helped me realize that it’s not anything to stay pissed about. I mean, he’s helplessly in love with you and always has. And I have Kennedy, I should be happy.”

“I guess you are right, I mean, it’s not even like Kennedy ever liked me like he’s always liked you.” I smiled, taking the last few gulps of my beer.

“Now do you wanna go back to the party and just let fate decide what we should do next.”

“Yes, please.” I laughed as Acey and I both got up and headed back to the party. Fate, do what you need to do.