Once a Fragile Design

To say everything was awkward was a complete understatement. After Garrett, Jared and Pat hugged me they roamed off towards the kitchen claiming they “needed a drink” and left Kennedy and I to stare awkwardly at each other. I bit my lip, trying to think of what to say or what to do. I had no idea. Kennedy played with his phone, taking a seat on the Lazy-Boy that Acey had demanded we get. I stood awkwardly by the couch. I sat down, the silence was starting to become too much. I couldn’t take it. I sighed watching Kennedy look up.

“I’m sorry.” I watched him study me after I spoke, the tension growing thicker as the nerves wracked my whole body. “I am so sorry Kennedy. I’m so naïve and stupid. I liked someone who would never love me back. And I knew that, deep down I fucking knew that. And I had you.” I breathed his jaw slacked slightly, his eyes still on me. “You were the best person to me. And I fucked up.” I stopped talking after confessing all that’s been on my mind and heart since that day I left the tour.

I could hear Acey yelling from out on the porch, I could hear the hurt in her voice and I only bit my lip harder. I wasn’t much of a yeller like Acey. I would stay quiet if needed and Kennedy was only making me wish I had never spoken in the first place. Kennedy cleared his voice and my eyes moved to look at him. His face read confusion and all I wanted to do was touch him.

“If you could, would you chose John over me? Given the chance that is?” His voice was low and I could hear the small cracks of insecurity in them and I shook my head. I shook my head and looked directly into his hazel eyes.

“No, Kennedy, I wouldn’t. In case you haven’t noticed, John and Acey are in love and I think they finally realized they’re made for each other.” I paused, getting up from the couch and walking to the Lazy-Boy. I touched Kennedy’s hand softly and smiled, “I want to see if we’re made for each other.” Kennedy turned hand slightly so it cradled mine and we looked at each other. Slowly his other hand moved to pull me closer and he sat me on his lap.

“I’d like that Roxie, I’d like that a lot.” I smiled and kissed his lips softly, he kissed back harder and I could hear clapping from the kitchen.

“We did it guys!” I heard Pat yell and I pulled from Kennedy confused and I could see a blush creep up on his cheeks.

“What did you do exactly, Patrick?” I asked watching the three boys return with smiles on their faces. Pat shrugged and pointed to Kennedy, “Ask him.” So I looked to Kennedy and he removed his hand from mine to scratch the back of his neck.

“Well they kind of locked John and I in the bus and wouldn’t let us out until we sorted through the mess that happened.”

“Basically they didn’t talk at all when you two left. Talk about awkward stage presence.” Garret piped up and I couldn’t help but shake my head.

“So how did you sort it out?” I asked, curious for the answer he would give me and Kennedy laughed.

“We played Call of Duty and when I won, he’d ask a question and vice versa. It was more of the manlier way of talking about our feelings.” I rolled my eyes, typical.

“Well I’m glad this mess is sorted out, should we go get the other love birds and the booze for the party?” Jared asked with a big smile on his face and I shrugged. “Go for it,” I told them. I was just happy that I had Kennedy. He made my heart flutter and I was okay with it.

By the time the sun set the party was in full swing. Rocket was here and I felt like I haven’t seen them in a million years. Eric had made some comment about what happened on tour; Kennedy hit him with the beer pong ball before pulling him away. I laughed at the interaction, sipping on my beer before turning to Justin who opened his mouth but stopped.

“Go ahead,” I told him and he smiled.

“I’m glad that you and Kennedy are back together. Now I haven’t seen my favorite munchkin and giant since I got here.” I slapped my hand over my mouth to suppress the giggles as various thoughts and images came to mind. Justin’s mouth dropped and he shook his head. “No way! They’re probably doing unmentionables. Ewww.” I couldn’t control the laughing and I almost spilled my beer all over the floor.

“God Justin, you’re crazy.” Then I heard my name being called and I turned my head towards the beer pong table where Acey and John stood with Kennedy and Eric. Acey had waved me over and I walked over, finishing my beer and setting it down.

“Be my partner? You got better aim than this kid,” Acey asked while pointing to John who pouted and Acey rolled her eyes. “It’s true John. Roxie is beer pong champ.”

“Fine, girls vs. boys. Well see whose better then.” John challenged and instantly we set up our cups. Acey and I opted for Bud Light in our cups and John and Kennedy went for the Colt 45. It had brought back memories of when I had first played beer pong.

“Remember the first time I played this?” I asked as Acey did her first shot, right into the middle cup in the back and John drank; Kennedy eyed up the ball and smiled. Acey turned to me and laughed.

“Yes! You missed like every shot you did until I showed you the boss way to do it.” She smiled to me before catching the ball that Kennedy had managed to not sink into a cup. She handed me the ball and I smirked, remembering the technique she taught me. Eye on the cup, left last row, bring my hand to my jaw line and with a flick of the wrist the ball flew sinking right into the cup I wanted. Kennedy groaned taking a drink from the cup and John laughed.

“Yeah you also puked everywhere after drinking all six cups on your own.” I blushed remembering the taste of tequila and beer mixed with stomach acid and I made a face.

“That was disgusting, please, don’t bring it up.” I laughed and Acey drank the cup that John sank the ball into. It felt so nice to just be together with everyone and happy. None of that fighting crap, no drama—just love. I couldn’t be any happier than this moment right her. Then Kennedy made his ball into a cup and I had to drink it.