Once a Fragile Design

As soon as the bus rolled to a stop at the venue, I walked towards the front to meet with Kennedy. Acey and John both hopped off the bus, skipping towards the venue causing both Kennedy and I to stare at each other.

“Shall we?” Kennedy’s smile lit up when I took his arm and we both followed Acey and John but decided against skipping. Walking with Kennedy like this let my mind slowly give up on the talk with John. I can’t do it. I don’t know what made me even want to agree with what Acey thought of. Her plans normally don’t work, why did I agree? Groaning softly I turned into Kennedy and kissed his cheek softly.

“I’m going to warn you, Acey is going to want to talk to you about us,” I told him leaning my head on his shoulder and I heard him chuckle softly.

“We’re not officially together though,” Kennedy mused, looking at me watching my facial features. I tried to mask some sort of glad feeling and Kennedy mistook it for sadness. “I mean, we could be together. If-if that’s what you want.”

I couldn’t even answer him, so I just squeezed his hand and he took a breath of relief. I don’t know what does on in my head when I’m around Kennedy, it’s almost like my brain thinks that if I get close with him John may actually notice me. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken the semester off if I’m going to be this stupid.

“So, do you want to make it really official and go out to lunch with me after we see the other bands and stuff?” I looked up to see Kennedy smiling hopefully down at me, I just nodded. Still words couldn’t even form and yet I’m agreeing to potentially hurting one sweet boy. Kennedy and I both walked into the venue to see John and Acey talking to Sierra, Blake, Devin and Jerry of VersaEmerge.

“Okay it’s only been two months and we see you guys again, really?” Sierra told as she gave Kennedy a hug and waved towards me. I waved back, shocked a little at the fact that Sierra noticed me. I never did meet them unlike Acey considering I took summer courses last summer. “Hey, I’m Sierra.”

“Sierra, this is Roxii my best friend!” Acey interjected, wrapping an arm around my waist as she side hugged me. I watched Sierra’s face light up with a smile.

“More friends! I seriously like that this tour has more than three girls right now.”

“Three?” I asked, not really understanding where Sierra got the two other people.

“Yeah Cobra Starship is on tour with us so Vicky is one girl and our merch girl Becca is another girl. So now there are five girls!”

“See Rox! We’re not the only ones!” I just nodded. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not but one thing I do know is this is overwhelming. “Hey, why don’t you go talk to John saying you want to go find beer or something?” I nodded saying bye to Sierra quietly before approaching John.

“Hey John, you wanna go find beer with me?” I asked, not looking John in the eye but I could tell that he was taken back.

“Yeah, uh, sure Rox. I’ll talk to you guys later,” I nodded softly towards who he was talking to before walking with John. “So what do you really want to talk about?” John asked, I looked up at him surprised before looking back down at my feet.

“W-what do you mean?” I stuttered, watching my footing carefully so I wouldn’t trip like my words.

“Roxii, you’ve been acting rather coldly towards me since the party and well there has to be something up if you want to walk with me to get beer.” You really can’t get anything past these boys.

“I told Acey I’d talk to you about being with her, like to see if you’re going to be good to her.” I told him, truthfully, hoping he’d understand. I heard him chuckle, I looked up to see him smiling.

“Roxii, really? I’ve been trying to get with Acey since 8th grade. Hell, I’ve probably thought she was amazing since the first day I met her. I mean, I even told the guys never to try and get with her for years. Do you really think I’d fuck up what I finally have?” I couldn’t even answer him. It hurt to much for him to tell me that he’s always liked Acey. “I mean, I do know if I didn’t tell Kennedy about you, you wouldn’t be as happy as you are now. I don’t know why you’re acting weird. Kennedy likes you a lot, Roxii.”

“Thanks John, really,” thanks for breaking my heart.

“No problem Rox!” He hugged me tightly, showing off that smile that could make anyone melt. Right now I just want to slap the stupid smile off his stupid face. “Hey look, Cobra has alcohol!”

“I’m gonna go back to Kennedy.” I mumbled before walking away from John. I don’t think I could stand another second with him.

I don’t know why I can’t just give John up.