Show Me Your Teeth

Let me introduce myself. My name is Zoey Baker and I have a secret.

I’m a Grim Reaper.

I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the whole black robe and scythe thing stopped working after the Dark Ages. We look like normal human beings, just slightly different from our former selves; it helps avoid mass hysteria. We have houses, go to work, eat and sleep. We’re just like you! Except for the whole not ageing or dying thing. It’s just not in our master plan. Before a person dies, we show up “reap” their soul. It takes just a single touch, but it ensures that they will feel no pain upon their death. Being a reaper isn’t a paying job, but most of us make due. Perhaps you are wondering how we know who to reap? Well, in my case, every month I receive a hand written letter, containing the first initial and last name of each person who has been selected by death. It has other information like date, time, location, but never the first name.

I’ve wondered lately, with all the advances in technology, why my lists were sent on hand written letters instead of emails. I guess Death is just old fashioned.

I digress. Some reapers work in groups, some stay in one place, and some travel. Some, like me, stay in one place, work alone, and only move on when suspicion sets in. Either way, the list always finds us wherever we go. Bon Temps, Louisiana, was my newest home. I had become far too familiar in Kenai, Alaska, and I my departure was long overdue. Most Reapers do not befriend the living; it can make their departure hard. I enjoy being with the breathers. When you know someone living, they talk about others who may be someone on my list. Knowing people just makes my job easier.

Though my last home had been quite cold, I was adjusting well to Bon Temps. My only problem was my house. The only reason I had chosen this tiny town was because my long deceased family had a home here. My hopes to reclaim my family home were dashed when I arrived and learned that someone was already living there. Instead, I purchased a large two story fixer up Antebellum home that needed a lot of work. Thankfully over the years I had become quite handy and it helped that I was an excellent interior decorator. I used my skills occasionally, decorating the homes of those who asked. Mostly, I maintained my lifestyle on the funds that I had accumulated over the years.



From my living room, I heard the familiar crunch of gravel that signaled someone was coming up the driveway. The familiar old yellow car stopped in front of the porch and I groaned.

Sookie Stackhouse.

I met her my first day in the city when I stopped in the bar Merlotte’s where she worked. We chatted for a bit and she was quite friendly. But ever since she found out I live down the road from her, she has stopped by every single day. And when I say every day, I mean, every day. The only upside to her visits, was that she always brought me food. Good, homemade, Southern food that tasted so delicious, I would gladly put up with her endless chatter for it.

“Zoey ! It’s Sookie, Sookie Stackhouse!”

I weighed my options. I could let her in and possibly get sucked into some ridiculous situation, or, attempt to ignore her and hope she wouldn’t beat my door down.

Decisions, decisions.

Well, the least I could do was answer the door and see what she wanted.

A ruffled Sookie burst through the door and into my foyer, apologizing profusely for being pesky and for asking such a huge favor on such short notice.

“What kind of favor are we talking about,” I asked skeptically.

“Well…you know my boyfriend Bill? Well he was supposed to be home two days ago, he didn’t say where he’s going but I know that Eric knows. Anyway he hasn’t called or answered any of my calls and I’m starting to get worried because not everyone likes vampires you know? There’s a lot of people that would love to drain a vampire of his age and I would just die if something happened to him-“

“Sookie, while we’re young please?” If she didn’t get to her point soon we were going to have a problem.

Sookie nodded. “Please come to this vampire bar with me. Eric, his boss, owns the place and he’ll know where Bill is. Plus you’ve dealt with them before and it would make me feel soooo much better if I had someone I trust to back me up.”

I sighed and excused myself to the kitchen. Going with her wasn’t the problem, only if it didn’t interfere with any…appointments I had. I don’t like to use the word “reaps,” it kind of creeps me out. Snatching my leather bound planner from the kitchen table and deftly flipping through the pages, I stopped on the current date. There was one appointment, neatly penciled in for 3:30am, at the club we were supposed to go to. It was a good thing it was my job to escort souls to the other side, because I really did not feel like sticking around that late. 3:30 is way past my bedtime.

With no excuse, I put on a smile and returned to Sookie, assuring her that I would be joining her. She was already dressed, looking quite pretty in her red and white floral summer dress, her blonde tresses pulled back with a headband. It was already late, nearing almost midnight, and truthfully I didn’t feel like getting dressed to the nines. Assuring Sookie that we would be leaving soon so she could stop fretting, I retreated upstairs to dress, donning tailored black shorts and a silky purple tank. When it comes to high heels, it go big or go home for me, which is why I chose a pair of Dior pumps I picked up back in the 50’s.



As Sookie peeled into the parking lot, gravel shooting in all directions, I was regretting my decision not to drive. That woman drove like a bat out of hell. The line to get in was long, but she wasted no time grabbing me by the hand and dragging me along to the front. A female vampire stood at the door, checking ID’s and acting as the bouncer, wearing one of those filmy dresses they were often portrayed in. Sookie addressed the vampire as Pam, who shot me a toothy grin, but admitted us much to the chagrin of the other patrons. Once inside, Sookie’s expression went from sweet Southern belle to a woman on a warpath. It was scary to be sure, but I had other priorities than making sure she didn’t hurt someone, after all I wasn’t her babysitter.

“Go sit at the bar,” Sookie yelled over the heavy music. “His name is Chow and he’s not so bad.”

I grinned as she made her way to the other side of the club. Do you see now why I associate with the living? My dear Sookie had just pointed me right in the direction my upcoming appointment. With the happy news in mind, I made my way to the ornately decorated bad, a bounce in my step, and a dark grin that made people vacate my path quickly.

Chow wasn’t so bad at all. In fact, as vampires go, he was quite friendly. I’ve come to the conclusion that Reapers and Vampires get along well because there is an understanding that both beings are death incarnate. It also helps that for the most part, we both dislike humans. They can sense that though our bodies are human, we are not like them. Between serving mundane humans and other vampires we chatted, mostly about his tattoos that I correctly guessed were Yakuza. He was quite fascinating and I was almost sad the poorly disguised Fellowship of the Sun cronies would end his second life.

From the corner of my eye I saw Pam approaching and knew that my time at the bar was ending. I handed Chow the exact amount for the 2 Bloody Mary’s I’d consumed and discretely touched the top of his hand, watching the familiar shimmer appear of a soul leaving a body, before following Pam into a back office.

Shocking blue eyes stared as I entered and took a seat next to Sookie, who looked as if there was no new info on Bill. The man was…beautiful, but in a scary way. He was scary in the way that he could crush me without exerting any real effort. Pale muscular arms were barely contained in the fitted tee-shirt he wore and with that blonde hair he looked like some Viking warlord.

“Zoey, this is Eric Northman, Sheriff of Area 5 and Bill’s boss.” I smiled calmly and nodded, knowing that shaking hands was not something vampires did.

He moved forward, towering over me, with that look that vampires get when they try to glamour someone.

“Glamour doesn’t work on my kind- I mean, it doesn’t working on my brain,” I smiled nervously, hoping that he hadn’t caught my slip up.

“Curious, but it doesn’t matter. I assume you also want to find Mr. Compton?” he questioned seeming quite bored with the whole deal.

“I’d like to find him so she,” I pointed to Sookie, “would stop being a worry wart and let me unpack my things in peace.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“Neither is living out of boxes,” I deadpanned.

I saw a ghost of a smile but it disappeared as soon as it came. He seemed to dismiss me and focus on Sookie, who wasn’t at all happy with my comments but that really doesn’t matter to me. While they talked I tried to remember how many appointments I had tomorrow. One would be ideal, then I could finally finish unpacking, but I knew it wouldn’t work out like that. It would be just too damn easy to have one day off. But it’s not like I work for a union and can take time off when I please, I’m in this for the long haul.

“Your precious Bill checked in last night. He will be returning tomorrow, so you can run along now and bother someone else. I have more important things to attend to than your boyfriend troubles,” Eric smirked.

Sookie huffed and grabbed arm, pulling me off the couch, and stormed out of his office. We were almost to the door when I remembered the Fellowship guys. I knew Chow was going to bite it, but there was no reason for anyone else to die because I didn’t speak up. Slipping from her grasp I wormed my way back through the crowd as quickly as I could, noting the time was nearing 3:30 when re-entered Eric’s office.

“Just a FYI, there’s a couple of Fellowship of the Sun kids in your bar. I wouldn’t recommend leaving tonight,” I rushed.

The vampire quirked an eyebrow and set down the papers in his hand. “What are you?”

“Someone you needn’t worry about.”