Jenthello

So in the subsequent of five short hours I wanted to kill myself...well not really myself, I wanted to kill this person acting like me but unfortunately that would be a form of suicide...

I skipped through the school's parking lot towards my car until I caught the sound of a skateboard behind me. I turned and Gerard came into view.

Please shut up. Please shut up. Please shut up....

“Hi,” the words came out of my mouth with a smile.

“Hey...” he stopped and popped his board into his hands. “Uh I...I know you're not feeling exactly....yourself but um...” he nervously started. “You wanted to uh maybe go out sometime....if you're not working of course?” he fiddled around like he usually did. I didn't realize he did that when talking to me until now.

“Um...” my eyes rolled off before consulting with my cell phone. “Sure why not?”

“Seriously?” he seemed slightly surprised by my answer. It wouldn't be the first time he asked me to go somewhere but I never took him up on his offer.

“So now you don't want to go on a date with me?” I questioned.

“Oh no...I was just...thinking...and you don't have to call it a date...I mean if you want it to be a date that's cool but...I don't want to make you feel like it's a date,” he went on and on trying to find the right words. “But I don't mean I wouldn't want to go out on a date with you, like unless you wanted to but then I would have to ask you again.” he continued.

“Yeah....see ya dude,” I backed away as he continued talking. “And you liked that guy?”

What's wrong with him?

“Besides the fact that he has no idea that I'm not standing there anymore?” she asked as she hopped over the door of my car and into the seat.

...so he's a little flustered at times

“A little?” she laughed. “Where's Ms. Einstein anyway,” she asked me through the rear view mirror.

What...Juliana? She has practice or something, I don't take her home. How do you not know that if you're me?

“You say that as if I'm supposed to care?” she yawned at the conversation before looking over the parking lot then into the rear view mirror. “I wanna go out tonight? You wanna go out? I'm only asking you so you have a heads up but your opinions aren't going to change anything; I just want you to feel needed.” she explained full of boredom.

“Well I feel loved....what about you being grounded,” I glared back at her.

“You worry too much, has anyone ever told you that? You're a worrier?”she started the car.

“I'm not a worrier, I just listen when people speak to me unlike someone.”

“Wow, someone's getting a little feisty in there. I'm starting to wonder if it's just me you have the guts to stand up to...” I just stared at the grin forming on her face. “Long pause no answer? I take that as a yes.”

With that my car started and I was, thankfully, on my way out of this hell and back home. I was starting to wonder why I even agreed to all of this. I wasn't complaining exactly...well not yet at least but Jenna wasn't helping the situation the way I had hoped. I couldn't believe I trusted her with taking over....
I couldn't believe I just said that I was really going crazy, either that or I was an extreme schizo. That was a good idea, I was a schizo. That was the only logical reason. I must've been a schizo all this time and I was just figuring it out. Well that would make me crazy, at least I had an excuse now.

I arrived home, where Jenna hopped out of th car and skipped to the front door whilst singing some random song. She twirled my keys around her fingers before unlocking the door and strolling in.

“Wow...” she looked around the silent home she had just walked into. “Empty for once.” she shrugged, threw my bag to the floor next to the door, and continued toward my room still singing quietly to herself.

“Jeni! Come down here please!” I heard my father's voice yell for me. Jenna and I simultaneously rolled our eyes. I hated those words and the direction they came from made the situation even worse. If my dad wanted to have a good father daughter discussion he would stay home from work. He would haul up in his office in the basement, start throwing paint everywhere and trying to make sense of the fact that I'm not seven years old with pigtails and skinned knees anymore.

Please don't do anything bad

“Define bad?” She took a deep breath and headed down the hall past the stairs to the door everyone in the house avoided at all cost. Another deep breath left my mouth before Jenna turned the knob and started a slow descent down the wood steps.

The further down into the basement she got the wallpaper turned to concrete cinder blocks and eventually grew covered with canvases. She glanced over a few until she found herself in the small room lit only by a few studio lights surrounding my father and s small window in one of the corners. Like any other day he could be found in here, he was gently and strategically stroking paint across the board.

“Have a seat dear,” he said not taking his eyes of his artwork and directing me toward the worn couch in the corner of the room. Jenna strolled over and plopped down with her arms on her open legs.

“What's up old man,” she yawned before picking at her teeth for a moment and leaning back on the couch. He stopped for a moment to give her a look before shrugging it off. He cleared his throat before reaching for another brush.

“You know boys aren't the most important thing in the world,” he finally revealed the reason he called me down here.

“Really now?” Jenna yawned.

“I know you're just a teenager and it seems like it is but it's not. You shouldn't be worrying about them right now anyway.”

“You do realize I'm 18, right dad?” Jenna pointed out. He looked over at me and then back to his painting.

“I'm aware but you're exactly acting like it...”

“What do you mean” Jenna pulled herself up.

“You haven't matured from the girl who got into fights everyday at school. You suddenly changing one morning into a whorish looking version of Juliana isn't going to make anyone like you more,” He explained still painting.

“Oh wow, thanks for the fatherly love dad,” Jenna sarcastically laughed.

“This isn't a joke Jennifer. You're growing up weather I like I or not and if you start dealing with boys...god forbid I want you to realize that before something bad happens to you.” he put down his tools and approached me.

If only you knew dad, if only you knew...

“Okay.” Jenna seemed to actually smile. Was she trying to be me for a moment or was this genuine? “Got it dad,” she hugged him and smiled again.

“Good,” he returned her hug and smile. “Now...about my...ummm anatomy references, Why don't we make a deal?” He quickly got off the subject.

“What kinda deal?”

“Hmm...” he rubbed his shaved chin for a moment. “I extend your curfew and we don't bring them up anymore?”

“Tempting but I'll have to pass.” Jenna examined her nails for a minute.

“Why, isn't that what all teenager girls want? Prince charming, a diamond ring, and a later curfew,” he seemed to think out loud.

“No...” I felt a little disturbed by the statement. “That's just mom, dad.” He seemed to think for a moment before agreeing. “How about you talk her into not grounding me anymore, we don't ever bring up my tattoo again and I'll tell her I made the whole thing up,” Jenna grinned. Was she honestly negotiating with my dad. He didn't take offers he gave them and they weren't neogiable.
He turned away from her to think and then back again.

“Deal.” he held out his hand.

What the hell dude...

They exchanged shakes and nods before I was on my way. I had truly found myself in the twilight zone. I had failed miserably in the past to get away from being punished and here she got off without any effort at all. What was going wrong with the world?

“Now don't you feel bad about doubting me,” she sarcastically mumbled as she left the basement and started toward my room.

I still don't like you...

“Why not? I've done everything I said I would. No one is even talking about what happened at that party and you're not grounded anymore...not like you would be anywhere anyway but there you go.”

But you forgot that you also made most of the school including Juliana slightly afraid of me, you got me a tattoo that I can't exactly wash off, Shane hates me and he's only known me for a day, and Gerard is...

“Is what? Interested in you? Big shocker there, huh?” she laughed as she came into my room and threw herself down on the bed.

I don't want to talk about it

“Being cool is tiring,” she faked a yawn before rolling towards the end of my bed and reaching under it for something. She pulled out a brown glass bottle and popped the metal cap off on my nightstand.

Where did that come from?

“Oh some guys brought it for me the other day at that bar.” she drunk a little of the drink and pulled herself back up from the bed.

Can you not drink in my house

“Why not you do it all the time?” She continued drinking.

I don't all the time...and it's not in the house She got up and started picking through my clothes until she found a random band t-shirt on the floor of my closet.

“Eh. Tomato Tamoto,” she stuck her tongue out with her comment and examined my shirt. She gave it a sharp tug and ripped the bottom of the shirt off.

WHAT THE HELL! That was my favorite shirt

“And now it's mine,” she smiled before changing. She grabbed my vest and threw it over her shoulder before continuing over to the door.

I hate you... She turned with a grin and placed a hand over her mouth.

“MUAH!” she blew a kiss and left.