Drama, Lies, Tears ? Teenage Years.
dear diary.
- Brittany’s POV. -
Dear Stupid Diary,
Why do people even use diaries? Oh, well, here goes nothing,
I woke up naked, feeling dirty, in a bed I had never seen before; well except for last night but I surely didn’t take off my clothes in this bed. My clothes were right next to the bed, so I wrapped up in my sheet and got dressed. I left the room hoping to seek one of my friends, I was greeted by my friend Stacy, She told me she was looking all over for me && that we should probably go home.
But, I should probably talk about what went down last night. A lot of people from school went to this big party, including me, at some kid from our schools house. A lot of upperclassman would be there, so of course everybody in lower grades were dying to go. So we went, anyways I got to the party to see a lot of people making out, and drinking beer; and since there were rooms they were probably doing other things as well. The night was fun, and I decided to have a drink, big mistake, and after a while I sat my drink down without thinking and a while later I came back to it, but this time when I drake it I felt different, sleepy, tired. So I went to the couch and before I knew it I was asleep.
The last thing I remember is someone on me, and then I woke up in the bed.
So I thought it would be okay if I kept this info to myself, I went to the doctors straight away, the doctor said I had nothing serious, from my blood test, and He said he couldn't tell if I were pregnant this early in the stage. I was so depressed after knowing I had gotten raped. My Innocence was gone, my virginity gone, my dreams crushed.
Then, one night in the shower, I picked up my razor and tried to take out the blade; it worked. I cut myself a couple of times. The next day I wore a long sleeve shirt and dark skinny jeans, not normal for my usual attire. After awhile my emotions started going crazy and I started distancing from my friends. I showed my cousin Megan my cuts and then her and Hanna teamed up and talked to me. I ended up going to this group therapy, and told people about my rape, my horrible story.
They made me write this letter thing to take out all my feelings, they even suggested this diary. I figured I'd try anything because I'm sick of being judge at school. I am sick of everybody asking me to show my scars! Well here is basically what my letter said.
“Dear.....Monster, well at least that's what I think of you. I don't know what made me so much better than any of the other girls, not that it's okay for you to do it to them, but still do you know me or was I just a random girl? I feel nasty, no matter how many showers or baths I still feel violated. When I walk on the streets I wonder if it's you waiting for another moment to strike. I wish I would have never gone to that party, I've tried and tried to erase the images in my head, but I can't. I have nightmares constantly, I will never ever be the same, and it’s your fault. I will always be called emo at my school, because of you. My virginity will not be taken by my true love, because you have it, along with probably a ton of other victims. It's not right what you’re doing, I'm sick of crying every night. I'm sick of hiding it from my dad, and if he finds out..... I would die; he would think I'm horrible and that I'm a monster, a part of you. I hope you die. I've never had so much hate in my life, so congrats."
Nobody in my family knows except my brother and sister. My dad doesn’t and never will. My boyfriend knows, I’ve already done it with him, but my dad doesn’t know about that either, he thinks I'm his perfect innocent little angel.
- And I wish I could still say I was.
- Brittany.
Dear Stupid Diary,
Why do people even use diaries? Oh, well, here goes nothing,
I woke up naked, feeling dirty, in a bed I had never seen before; well except for last night but I surely didn’t take off my clothes in this bed. My clothes were right next to the bed, so I wrapped up in my sheet and got dressed. I left the room hoping to seek one of my friends, I was greeted by my friend Stacy, She told me she was looking all over for me && that we should probably go home.
But, I should probably talk about what went down last night. A lot of people from school went to this big party, including me, at some kid from our schools house. A lot of upperclassman would be there, so of course everybody in lower grades were dying to go. So we went, anyways I got to the party to see a lot of people making out, and drinking beer; and since there were rooms they were probably doing other things as well. The night was fun, and I decided to have a drink, big mistake, and after a while I sat my drink down without thinking and a while later I came back to it, but this time when I drake it I felt different, sleepy, tired. So I went to the couch and before I knew it I was asleep.
The last thing I remember is someone on me, and then I woke up in the bed.
So I thought it would be okay if I kept this info to myself, I went to the doctors straight away, the doctor said I had nothing serious, from my blood test, and He said he couldn't tell if I were pregnant this early in the stage. I was so depressed after knowing I had gotten raped. My Innocence was gone, my virginity gone, my dreams crushed.
Then, one night in the shower, I picked up my razor and tried to take out the blade; it worked. I cut myself a couple of times. The next day I wore a long sleeve shirt and dark skinny jeans, not normal for my usual attire. After awhile my emotions started going crazy and I started distancing from my friends. I showed my cousin Megan my cuts and then her and Hanna teamed up and talked to me. I ended up going to this group therapy, and told people about my rape, my horrible story.
They made me write this letter thing to take out all my feelings, they even suggested this diary. I figured I'd try anything because I'm sick of being judge at school. I am sick of everybody asking me to show my scars! Well here is basically what my letter said.
“Dear.....Monster, well at least that's what I think of you. I don't know what made me so much better than any of the other girls, not that it's okay for you to do it to them, but still do you know me or was I just a random girl? I feel nasty, no matter how many showers or baths I still feel violated. When I walk on the streets I wonder if it's you waiting for another moment to strike. I wish I would have never gone to that party, I've tried and tried to erase the images in my head, but I can't. I have nightmares constantly, I will never ever be the same, and it’s your fault. I will always be called emo at my school, because of you. My virginity will not be taken by my true love, because you have it, along with probably a ton of other victims. It's not right what you’re doing, I'm sick of crying every night. I'm sick of hiding it from my dad, and if he finds out..... I would die; he would think I'm horrible and that I'm a monster, a part of you. I hope you die. I've never had so much hate in my life, so congrats."
Nobody in my family knows except my brother and sister. My dad doesn’t and never will. My boyfriend knows, I’ve already done it with him, but my dad doesn’t know about that either, he thinks I'm his perfect innocent little angel.
- And I wish I could still say I was.
- Brittany.
♠ ♠ ♠
Yeahhh , I Got Teary Eyed Writing This !