Gynophobia.
My mind gone.
My teachers kept trying to make me talk. It was depressing. The only time I wasn't expected to talk was when I had went to the nurses office. He had heard about the lot of them trying to make me speak. He said it was stupid. If someone didn't talk for years it didn't mean that they would suddenly start. Something major had to happen to make the person speak.
He said I had Schizoid Personality Disorder. Characterized by emotional coldness, detachment, limited capacity to express either warm, tender feelings or anger towards others, little interest in having sexual experiences with another person and lack of close friends.
I think he saw my eye twitch a little when he said sexual. I didn't want to think about this or go over it. I characterized myself with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I didn't say that though. I never wrote anything about it though. Just so that if someone saw it I wouldn't have to deal with their talking.
When I got home I saw no one was home. I did my homework and took a relaxing bath. I had filled it to the top with bubbles. Just so I couldn't see the scratches. I let myself slip under the water and saw how long I could last underwater.
"Nathan!" I heard my mom yell. It was distorted. It showed how evil she really was. I lifted from out of the water and took in a deep breath of air. I wiped the suds off my face and slicked back my hair. I heard the door handle turn and saw my mother. She was looking angry before she actually looked at me.
Her face slowly softened and she smiled.
"Daddy is gone for the day with Maryann." She said shutting the door behind her. I resisted the urge to bring my feet up. I couldn't show I was weak. She could already sense it. She was like a mutt in heat.
"I want you to speak to me today." She said sitting on the edge of the tub. I just looked at her. Watching her moves.
"I remember bathing you in here. You always laughed and played in the bubbles like a little scuba diver. That's what you wanted to be when you were little." She said trying to put her hand through my hair. I moved away before she could touch me. She narrowed her eyes at me and hit me in the head. My head smacked against the wall and I felt light headed. Before I could even touch my head I felt myself being held under the water.
By instinct I tried to breath and got a mouthful of water. I could feel her fingers around my neck. I reached up not really knowing where to reach and grab. I couldn't find anything. I was quickly yanked up and out of the water. I coughed grabbing onto the fingers prying them off. I threw up the water that I had swallowed and took in deep breaths. She grabbed me by my hair and pressed her lips into mine. I grabbed onto her shoulders pushing her back.
I slipped out of the bath and found myself on the floor. She had me by the ankle. I tried to kick her and missed. She crawled up me and flipped me over. I could feel my strength being taken from me and just fear being left over. My breathing became faster and my skin was overly sensitive.
"My poor baby, you need to stay up. I need to make sure you're okay." She said caressing my face. Her blonde hair touched my chest as she moved her body down mine. I trembled and started to pull myself back. She slammed her hand down on my chest and kept my down. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth as her hand slid on my length.
I tried to imagine myself somewhere else. Anywhere else. Like in the pits of hell. My body was getting hot and couldn't control the urge to settle down. The look on her face was sick. The look of sheer enjoyment.
"I love you Nathan."
That was what broke my somewhat sane mind.
He said I had Schizoid Personality Disorder. Characterized by emotional coldness, detachment, limited capacity to express either warm, tender feelings or anger towards others, little interest in having sexual experiences with another person and lack of close friends.
I think he saw my eye twitch a little when he said sexual. I didn't want to think about this or go over it. I characterized myself with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I didn't say that though. I never wrote anything about it though. Just so that if someone saw it I wouldn't have to deal with their talking.
When I got home I saw no one was home. I did my homework and took a relaxing bath. I had filled it to the top with bubbles. Just so I couldn't see the scratches. I let myself slip under the water and saw how long I could last underwater.
"Nathan!" I heard my mom yell. It was distorted. It showed how evil she really was. I lifted from out of the water and took in a deep breath of air. I wiped the suds off my face and slicked back my hair. I heard the door handle turn and saw my mother. She was looking angry before she actually looked at me.
Her face slowly softened and she smiled.
"Daddy is gone for the day with Maryann." She said shutting the door behind her. I resisted the urge to bring my feet up. I couldn't show I was weak. She could already sense it. She was like a mutt in heat.
"I want you to speak to me today." She said sitting on the edge of the tub. I just looked at her. Watching her moves.
"I remember bathing you in here. You always laughed and played in the bubbles like a little scuba diver. That's what you wanted to be when you were little." She said trying to put her hand through my hair. I moved away before she could touch me. She narrowed her eyes at me and hit me in the head. My head smacked against the wall and I felt light headed. Before I could even touch my head I felt myself being held under the water.
By instinct I tried to breath and got a mouthful of water. I could feel her fingers around my neck. I reached up not really knowing where to reach and grab. I couldn't find anything. I was quickly yanked up and out of the water. I coughed grabbing onto the fingers prying them off. I threw up the water that I had swallowed and took in deep breaths. She grabbed me by my hair and pressed her lips into mine. I grabbed onto her shoulders pushing her back.
I slipped out of the bath and found myself on the floor. She had me by the ankle. I tried to kick her and missed. She crawled up me and flipped me over. I could feel my strength being taken from me and just fear being left over. My breathing became faster and my skin was overly sensitive.
"My poor baby, you need to stay up. I need to make sure you're okay." She said caressing my face. Her blonde hair touched my chest as she moved her body down mine. I trembled and started to pull myself back. She slammed her hand down on my chest and kept my down. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth as her hand slid on my length.
I tried to imagine myself somewhere else. Anywhere else. Like in the pits of hell. My body was getting hot and couldn't control the urge to settle down. The look on her face was sick. The look of sheer enjoyment.
"I love you Nathan."
That was what broke my somewhat sane mind.