Gynophobia.
What is Love?
I wasn't sure what to do when I discovered that. I didn't want to tell anyone about it. That would just be to weird. I also felt bad. I shouldn't have been thinking of Taylor that way. He wasn't doing that and he was just really trying to be my friend.
Perhaps that was the reason I was moved out of there. Maybe he could tell that I harbored that feelings deep inside and wanted me out. Did I speak in my sleep or something about it? Maybe that was what I had done. I had to apologize to him.
I got up urgently when I had calmed down and ran down the stairs. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and thought about it. Maybe that wasn't what happened at all. Maybe he just didn't like me anymore and wanted me out.
I ran back upstairs.
Or maybe he just wanted me to think that and something else really was up. Maybe he was really just scared I was going to harm him or something. He could have thought that since my mother was that way I was that way. That meant I had to tell him that I wasn't that way and I did want to be his friend.
I ran downstairs.
Be Taylor's friend officially. I never told him that I thought of him as a sort of friend. Well, from what my body was saying to me I liked him more as a friend. I knew what love was, I had loved my mother in a mother, son way before everything had happened. But I didn't really know what real love was. How could I tell him that I even had a feeling of friendship with him if I wasn't entirely sure if I just liked him as a friend or even more then that.
I started back up the stairs.
"Either stay upstairs or downstairs Nathan. I'm trying to take a nap." I heard Janet say from the livingroom. I took a back step and looked at her. She was curled up on the couch with a blanket lying over her. I looked out the front window and saw Dayton was gone.
That meant I couldn't ask him what love really was. I didn't know where Mary lived. I couldn't go to Taylor about this. he was who I had the dilemma with in the first place. I really wanted to know what love between a couple was.
"Janet, what is love?" I asked sitting on the edge of the arm chair. She sighed sitting up. It was nice to see that she wasn't startled by me talking.
"Love is letting a man knock you up even though you know you'll get fat, have swollen ankles, sore nipples, mood swings and feel like shit all over." She said looking overly tired. I nodded at her.
"I mean, how do you know you love someone?" She was silent for a while before speaking. I think she was trying to calm herself down.
"You desire to be with them for long periods of time. You really feel a strong connection to them. You still feel the same about them when you argue with them. Willing to do anything to be with them. And I'm too cranky to think of anything else." She said then fell back on the couch closing her eyes. I sat there for a while thinking.
I did like being with Taylor, I felt a connection with him, I never argued with Taylor so I wouldn't know about that part. I was willing to speak to him. It was a long time since I actually spoke to anyone. He was the only person I ever wanted to talk to. So if I was to think about it that way I would say it's love.
But I needed to confirm it.
Perhaps that was the reason I was moved out of there. Maybe he could tell that I harbored that feelings deep inside and wanted me out. Did I speak in my sleep or something about it? Maybe that was what I had done. I had to apologize to him.
I got up urgently when I had calmed down and ran down the stairs. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and thought about it. Maybe that wasn't what happened at all. Maybe he just didn't like me anymore and wanted me out.
I ran back upstairs.
Or maybe he just wanted me to think that and something else really was up. Maybe he was really just scared I was going to harm him or something. He could have thought that since my mother was that way I was that way. That meant I had to tell him that I wasn't that way and I did want to be his friend.
I ran downstairs.
Be Taylor's friend officially. I never told him that I thought of him as a sort of friend. Well, from what my body was saying to me I liked him more as a friend. I knew what love was, I had loved my mother in a mother, son way before everything had happened. But I didn't really know what real love was. How could I tell him that I even had a feeling of friendship with him if I wasn't entirely sure if I just liked him as a friend or even more then that.
I started back up the stairs.
"Either stay upstairs or downstairs Nathan. I'm trying to take a nap." I heard Janet say from the livingroom. I took a back step and looked at her. She was curled up on the couch with a blanket lying over her. I looked out the front window and saw Dayton was gone.
That meant I couldn't ask him what love really was. I didn't know where Mary lived. I couldn't go to Taylor about this. he was who I had the dilemma with in the first place. I really wanted to know what love between a couple was.
"Janet, what is love?" I asked sitting on the edge of the arm chair. She sighed sitting up. It was nice to see that she wasn't startled by me talking.
"Love is letting a man knock you up even though you know you'll get fat, have swollen ankles, sore nipples, mood swings and feel like shit all over." She said looking overly tired. I nodded at her.
"I mean, how do you know you love someone?" She was silent for a while before speaking. I think she was trying to calm herself down.
"You desire to be with them for long periods of time. You really feel a strong connection to them. You still feel the same about them when you argue with them. Willing to do anything to be with them. And I'm too cranky to think of anything else." She said then fell back on the couch closing her eyes. I sat there for a while thinking.
I did like being with Taylor, I felt a connection with him, I never argued with Taylor so I wouldn't know about that part. I was willing to speak to him. It was a long time since I actually spoke to anyone. He was the only person I ever wanted to talk to. So if I was to think about it that way I would say it's love.
But I needed to confirm it.
♠ ♠ ♠
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