Ash Over Seas

Months passed, and the further I found myself from January, the further Cormac was pushed from my mind. Despite the pack’s widened patrol routes, neither they nor Atticus had gotten even a whiff of the brown-eyed vampire.

I had been allowed back into school several weeks back into the new semester, though my health had hardly improved. By the time April came around, I was sporting a vicious cough and my eyes were more purple than ever, due to my father still forcing blood bags down my throat at every possibility. They were the only reason for him ever to speak to his “former” friend.

I, on the other hand, had been seeing Carlisle far more than usual, as we had continued our secret appointments; secret because—much to the doctor’s dismay—I hadn’t been able to work up the courage to tell my father of my duplicity. Still, I felt that what my father didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, and what my father did know, might hurt me. It was just better this way.

I walked into the art room one surprisingly sunny April morning and smiled as I saw that Jacob was already there. Yes, I had convinced Jacob to take Art with me. Second semester of senior year was always fun. College applications were all sent out and you got to choose your classes based on what you actually wanted to take, and mine had all been primarily in the Liberal Arts. Jake, despite from the painting class I had lured him into, opted for the school’s harsher arts, such as woodworking and other manly things.

“Hey,” I smiled softly as I slung my bag off my shoulder and took a seat next to the tall Quileute boy, fighting slightly to keep my eyes open at this early hour.

Jacob’s face lit up into a charming grin. “Good morning. How are you?”

“Well, considering the sun’s out for once, I’m doing pretty well. I could use some coffee or something, though. I’m dead beat.”

I inwardly cringed as I let the word slip, noticing that Jacob’s expression tightened.

“Um, so, want to get started?” I changed the subject quickly.

“Yeah… sure,” Jacob mumbled and we made our way over to the paint cabinet. I laced my fingers through his and squeezed his hand reassuringly. He took a deep breath as we began creating a mess of goo on his palette.

We were doing portraits this week in class, and it was Jake’s turn to paint me.

Through the rest of the hour, I sat perfectly still, trying not to giggle at the adorable mixed look of concentration and frustration playing on Jacob’s face. When the bell finally rung, I quickly rushed to my feet as the boy tried to hide his canvas from me.

“Aw, come on, Jake, let me see it,” I laughed as he held me back by my arms.

“No. You’re going to laugh. It’s horrible.”

And when I finally got past him, I did laugh and Jacob just stood behind me, arms crossed over his chest as he huffed indignantly. My nose was etched much larger than it appeared on my face, and my shoulders seemed oddly square and bulky.

“Aw, Jake, it’s not that bad,” I assured him, my laugh tapering off lightly. “I love it. It’s almost… Picasso-like.”

He snorted. “Is that supposed to be a compliment? That guy sucks.”

“Oh, come on, lighten up,” I teased as I leaned into him slightly, tilting my chin upward and leaving no room for interpretation of my wishes.

Jacob’s lips were on mine in an instant and his hands cupped my cheeks, but he pulled away quickly before we were scolded for inappropriate conduct.

“Come on,” I said after we’d put his painting away to dry. “We’re going to be late for lunch.”

The rest of the day passed nearly without a hitch. Kim had brought up the ever-looming subject of Prom, which was quickly approaching as May came around the corner. It seemed all that was on the girl’s mind was who would go with whom, and what everyone wanted to wear. For me, my concern was more about actually being lively enough to attend, and I stayed quiet for most of the conversation.

After school had ended, Jacob had insisted on driving me home and staying a while, much to my father’s indifference. We sat up in my room, casually listening to the radio as we sprawled across my bed. My head rested on his toned stomach and his large hands raked absentmindedly through my hair as we talked.

One question had been bothering me for a while now.

“Jake?” I asked after several minutes of comfortable silence. I kept my eyes on the ceiling, but I could still feel his gaze on me.

“Hmm?”

“What are you planning to do once school gets done?”

He was quiet for a moment, and his hand paused from running through my hair and rested against my neck.

“Well… I suppose it would make the most sense that I’ll stay here with the pack. I mean… I’m kind of obligated, you know? This is pretty much a life deal,” he said, gesturing to his body. “But I don’t know, I’ll find work somewhere. Maybe take up some part time hours at a mechanics around here. Somewhere it won’t really matter if I have to take time off short notice.”

I nodded and it was silent for a moment more.

“Why?” he asked softly.

I bit my lip, and kept my gaze averted.

“I just… I just wanted to make sure that in case… well in case things didn’t go well, that you’d have something lined up for you. I wouldn’t want you to do anything… rash.”

I felt his abdomen flex beneath my head as he began to sit up, and I followed suit, turning to face him questioningly. His eyes were deadpan and fierce as they bore into mine.

“What are you suggesting?”

I sighed softly and shrugged. “Jake, you’ve known it’s a possibility I wont make it since I told you. I’ve been working with Carlisle but that’s no guarantee of anything, you know? I’m just saying… I want to know that you won’t do anything… well, stupid.”

I grimaced slightly but his expression didn’t change.

“Colby,” he said with a tight voice. “If you go, I go with you.”

My eyes widened and my heart skipped several beats before accelerating.

“Wh—what? No, Jake.”

He shook his head. “Whether I die physically, or just emotionally, there’s no denying that I’ll have nothing left if you're gone.”

“That’s not true,” I whispered.

“Yes it is,” he said, taking my hand in his. “You're everything.”

“You have the pack, you have Billy. You can’t do that to them.”

“I think they’d rather see me laid to rest for good than wandering around day after day wishing I had gone with you,” he said quietly, looking away.

I shook my head, closing my eyes as tears formed behind them.

“I never should have come here,” I whispered, but I knew in an instant that he’d heard me, because his grip on my hand tightened immensely.

“What?”

I looked into his eyes as water leaked out of my own. “Well… if… if I’d never come here you never would have seen me and you never would have formed this… this bond that we have. You would have been happy.”

“I would have still been moping over Bella marrying Edward,” he corrected.

“You would have gotten over that eventually and found a normal girl. You would have been happy.”

“Would you just stop?” he snapped and I looked up in shock.

He kissed me fiercely and pulled away after several moments, leaving me breathless.

“What’s happened has happened. I did see you and I did imprint, and… and you are sick, and we may or may not be able to change that. Whatever happens, I don’t regret meeting you. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

A grimace twitched at the corner of my lips. “Knowing me, probably about a thousand more.”

He just sighed and reattached his lips to mine once more, leading me into a make believe world where everything was perfect.