Illogical? Maybe

My greatest friend was very troubled. His father, who is Vulcan, married a human female from Earth. My friend, Spock is his name, was a child of two worlds where neither world completely accepted him.

The day I first was acquainted with Spock was the day he could no longer suppress the anger he felt when three young Vulcan boys taunted him about his “disability” as many on Vulcan were made to believe.

Calmly, I came between the young Vulcan, whom Spock was attacking fiercely, and Spock himself. I held an intense stare with both boys in hopes to make them realize the anger passing between the two of them.

“Do not do this,” I ordered. “The both of you will be punished if you not desist.”

The young, nameless Vulcan looked at me with his emotionless eyes, “It is not because of us that he has human for a mother.”

The anger emitting from Spock created a great difficulty to keep my own emotions in check.

“Human mother or not, he is the son of Ambassador Sarek, which does not give you merit to trouble him,” I threw back darkly; for a Vulcan.

“You disgrace the Vulcan race by taking the side of this half-breed.”

Spock lost all control of his anger like before, but thankfully and elder stepped into the gathering immediately.

The three Vulcan boys were sent in one direction, while Spock was sent to see his father.

Curious, I chose to follow the latter when an emotion I knew as worry peaked within me only slightly.

“Why do I not know your face?” Spock questioned me as we walked; his human eyes still angry.

“We have not met until this day I am afraid,” I answered with a subtle twitch of the corner of my mouth.

“I see… I am Spock.”

The corner of my mouth twitch again, “I am aware. I am T’Saralonde. My father has been a friend of your father’s for many years.”

“Friends?”

“Yes. They are friends. I do not find it unusual. I have had friends before.”

I noticed the passing flash of loneliness in Spock’s eyes and I felt the need to seize the opportunity.

“If you wish it so, Spock, we can friends. The fact that you have a human mother does not bother me like it bothers others.”

Spock stared at me, his mouth barely twitching into a smile, “Is that logical?”

“It may or may not. I do not believe all Vulcans are logical,” I replied, noting that it was my time to depart from my new friend. “I must leave you now, Spock, but I do hope we see one another again, my friend.”

The joy that lit young Spock’s eyes put warmth in my heart and I knew I had done what was right in my heart.

“Farewell,” I said, lifting my hand in the Vulcan salute.

Spock did the same, “Farewell, T’Saralonde.”

I split away from Spock into another hallway and watched my new friend round the corner before I embraced my inner joy for a moment. Pleased, I walked away content with my actions.

Years passed quickly and I grew older as well as Spock. We had grown to be close friends, as close as Vulcans could be as friends, and I began to embrace each emotion I experience around my friend; even if I was not familiar with some emotions. I never did let said emotions escape my unemotional façade, but it was more to keep Spock’s emotions in check with him having more difficulty than the other Vulcans.

One particularly sunny day, Spock found me wandering through the halls of the Vulcan school as I remembered what I had learned and he politely interrupted my memories.

“Hello, Spock,” I greeted, showing more of a smile than the usual Vulcan would show. “Have you been well, my friend?”

He nodded his greeting, “I have been, T’Saralonde.”

“That is pleasing to hear.”

Silence erupted between the two of us and I could sense Spock had something important to speak to me about.

“What is it that you wish to speak about, Spock?” I questioned.

Spock’s eyes instantly looked surprised, but he did not let it reach his features.

“Let us find a more private location to speak,” I continued, casually walking away from Spock.

After he regained full use of his mind, Spock caught up to me and the two of us walked in silence. The silence continued even as Spock and I entered a small and empty room that had many large windows along one wall.

“Speak your mind, Spock,” I said, very softly placing my hand on his arm.

I did not feel the need to continue my Vulcan nature while only in the presence of my friend.

Spock tensed for a moment, but regained his composure quickly.

“I am sure you are aware that pon farr is drawing near,” Spock began.

I nodded, “I am aware.”

Spock’s eyes shifted downward and back to my face in a second, “You are my closest friend and I understand that I am the same to you.”

Understanding Spock’s reasoning behind bringing up pon farr, my lips formed another rare and faint smile. “Spock, I can see that you are embarrassed, but there is no need. Pon farr is a part of what we as an alien race must go through to survive.”

“You are correct, but you know that males do not accept this ritual as easily.”

“Only when they choose to mate rather than fight, Spock,” I pointed out smartly.

My friend looked down and then walked away from me to stare out the windows.

I watched him for a moment before standing beside him, “I understand why you decided to speak to me about pon farr.”

“I do not wish to take the violent path as I did during my first pon farr and meditation is not easy for me all the time,” Spock replied, feeling the illogical need to explain himself.

“I have already figured out what you wish to do, but I can see that there is something more that is bothering you.”

He nodded and turned his body to face me. “I do not wish to lose my friend for asking such a task of her.”

I can say that Vulcans do not cry, let alone share an emotional explanation like Spock had, but I became so overwhelmed with adoration that my eyes began to well up.

Spock’s eyes widened ever so slightly and he gaze at me in confusion.

“Did I say something to offend you?”

I shook my head and blinked away the offending water.

“Then why did it look as if you were going to cry as humans do?”

“You, Spock, are the greatest friend a Vulcan like me could ever ask for,” I replied, regaining my calm nature.

A very faint green tinted Spock’s cheeks, but his face did not change.

“You do not need to be worried over requesting this task when it is for the well-being of us as Vulcans,” I held my hand out with my palm facing Spock. “I will gladly accept to be your mate in the upcoming pon farr.”

Spock stared at my face and then my outstretched hand, his own hand hesitating to leave his side.

“Spock…” I whispered to reassure him; bring him courage.

His eyes met mine and I noticed his face relax greatly.

“Thank you, T’Saralonde,” he thanked me, lifting his hand and lining it up with mine.

Both of us gasped at the sudden warmth that began in our fingertips and spread through our entire bodies when our palms touched. Our eyes locked and green tinted our cheeks as we pulled our hands apart.

“Fascinating,” Spock stated, tearing his gaze from mine to stare at his hand.

“Indeed,” I agreed as I flexed my hand.

Spock lowered his hand and straightened himself, putting back on the Vulcan façade.

“I presume I will see you again, my friend. I must be on my way,” he said.

Nodding, I too repressed my emotions, “Yes, I do think we will see one another again. Farewell until then.”

Spock gracefully bowed his head before he glided out of the room.

When I knew he was no longer nearby, I shook my head as to shake something away.

“I believe something has begun to change,” I muttered to myself, my cheeks radiating a soft green color.

Immediately composing myself, I also left the room, leaving in the opposite direction Spock departed and wondered how things would change.

As pon farr grew nearer each day, Spock and I were almost inseparable; silently telling the other Vulcans we were to be together when pon farr was to begin.

On the evening before said ritual, I was asked by Spock to stay in his home only for the night and following day because his mother and father insisted I stayed there. I agreed, of course, but hidden deep within me was a lack of nerve that I had to meditate on to keep it suppressed.

I knew Spock’s father was on the Vulcan Council and that his mother was a very accepting human, but I was still nervous in meeting them at their private home.

When I walked to Spock’s home, I squeezed my fingers together to keep them from fidgeting like a human has been known to do.

Feeling like I had walked longer than usual, I finally reached the front door of my dear friend’s home.

Before I could give any signal that I had arrived, the door swung open and an old woman enveloped me in a hug. I did not understand what the woman was doing, so I stood perfectly still.

“Pardon me, child, but I am so glad my son has found a beautiful woman like you!” the old woman proclaimed, pulling herself from me.

“You are Spock’s mother?” I questioned.

“I am! And you are the beautiful T’Saralonde my Spock has spoken so highly of!”

“Mother,” a familiar voice silenced her.

My gaze met Spock’s and a very strange emotion transferred between us.

I sensed Spock’s mother watching us, but it was her joyful giggle that forced my eyes away from Spock’s.

Spock’s mother latched her arm with mind, “Come in, T’Saralonde. Sarek would like to meet you, too.”

Obediently, I let the woman lead me through their home with Spock following close behind us.

“Sarek!” she called out, a loving grin on her face. “T’Saralonde is here!”

We rounded a corner and were met by Spock’s father whose face held no emotion.

“Greetings, young one,” he greeted, bowing his head slightly.

I replied in the same manner, “It is truly an honor to be in your home, Ambassador.”

“I insist that you call me Sarek while in our home. I am sure that Amanda also asks the same.”

The woman beside me nodded, “Yes. Please, do call me Amanda.”

“If you ask it, then I shall listen.”

Sarek looked at Spock, “I do understand why you chose her. She will be a remarkable mate for you, my son.”

“Father…” Spock replied, barely hiding the whine in his statement.

My cheeks greened, “I thank you for such a compliment, but I am sure many others would have been more suitable.

Spock shifted his stare onto me and I forced my feeling of embarrassment away.

“Oh no, no!” Amanda disagreed. “You are perfect for my Spock.”

That time both men looked at Amanda and she immediately apologized.

“It is quite alright,” I reassured. “Do not fret over it.”

She smiled at me and then she left; only me and the two men still in each other’s presence.

“We will not be staying here tonight for we have another location for us,” Sarek announced. “Amanda and I find it to be more logical for you as well as ourselves to be alone.”

Spock spoke, “Thank you, Father, but is this not where you should be?”

“No, Spock. We leave this place to the two of you.”

Spock did not reply to his father, but he did look at me for a half second.

“Are you ready to leave, Sarek?” Amanda suddenly asked, joining us once again.

“I do believe so,” he replied, looking at me after. “Please make yourself comfortable here and I do hope we meet once again.”

“Agreed,” I nodded, giving them a Vulcan smile.

Rather quickly, Spock’s parents bustled out of the house, leaving me and Spock alone.

“Your parents are pleasant,” I stated, turning to look at Spock.

“They are.”

Curious, I entered a nearby room and began roaming about it.

“I see several unusual artifacts here," I announced, studying the strange contraptions. “I assume it is human artifacts because your father is Ambassador to Earth?”

Spock nodded, “You are correct.”

I turned to look at Spock, “What is it like to be a human?”

My friend lifted his eyebrow in curiosity, “Why do you have such a fascination with humans?”

“You are half human so why would I not?”

He gave me a Vulcan smile, “I understand your logic.”

Seeing him smile even though it was almost invisible suddenly created a bright human smile on my face as strange feelings bubbled up inside of me.

“That… That is a very human smile,” Spock stated, seeming to be dazzled by the grin on my face.

“I cannot help it.”

He tilted his head barely, “I do not understand.”

“Neither do I,” my cheeks turned an unusually dark green, “but I enjoy it.”

Curiosity lit up Spock’s eyes and he began to raise his hand to my face, but hesitated and put it back at his side.

My own hand left my side and reached for his, taking it in mine. “Continue, Spock. It is necessary, is it not?”

He tensed, sensing a weak flow of my emotions through our touch. “I have never performed a mind-meld before. I could alter your mind. It is dangerous.”

“Spock, it must happen if we are to be mates. We need to be empathically connected and a mind-meld is the most logical way.”

“It is dangerous,” he repeated.

I frowned, actually frowned, but I led Spock over to a bench where I sat down and forced him to sit beside me.

“You will not hurt me, Spock,” I reassured, letting go of his hand.

Still visibly uncomfortable, Spock hesitated.

I twisted my body so I was facing him a little more and I took his left hand in both of mine.

“I trust you,” I said.

Very slowly, he lifted his right hand up to my face, strategically placing his fingers on the left side of my face.

A second passed before we both closed our eyes and instantly our minds became one mind.

The colors of our emotions mingled with each other, his paler than mine, and each color changed when it came in contact with the other corresponding color.

I could feel the fascination Spock was feeling and my colors began to brighten as I felt joy. The colors of Spock’s mind changed along with mine.

Concentrating on his every emotion, I noticed a magenta color that was his love for his mother. It was a bright color compared to his paler ones, but it was not as vivid as another color of his mind that was a deep purple. I knew it was also love, but I could not tell who for at first. When the colors of my mind began to change into a dark red, I realized that the two dominant emotions in both of our minds was love; love for one another.

Suddenly, the colors began to disappear and I found myself back to reality with Spock.

“You love me, Spock?” I asked him, obviously dumbfounded.

He nodded; his cheeks and ears turning green. “I do not believe I would have asked you to be my mate if I did not… And I think you would not have agreed if you did not feel the same.”

Soon my face matched his in embarrassment, “When did you know?”

“When you asked me if I wanted to have a friendship with you,” he answered. “And you?”

“I think it was the second time we met,” I blushed, not hiding my emotions at all. “But I did not know exactly what I was feeling.”

“I see.”

I looked down embarrassed, “I see why pon farr is embarrassing to the males; sharing private emotions while trying to stay composed is difficult.”

Spock did not audibly reply to me, so I lifted my eyes to his again to find a ghost of a smile on his face.

“Spock, may I ask a personal query?” I questioned, hoping the slight change in subject would take my embarrassment away.

“Of course you may.”

“Did you ever see your mother and father together like the human race on Earth?”

His smile disappeared and he looked to the side in thought. “I used to see them do several things together that were very human-like. My mother enjoyed showing my father the way humans are intimate with one another.”

“That is fascinating,” I pondered.

“Humans are very intriguing,” Spock added.

“Will you show me what actions your mother showed to your father?”

Spock blushed faintly, “I cannot do that.”

“Are you frightened?”

“It is not that…” he hesitated, “I do not know how.”

I smiled, “It cannot be difficult. You had to have seen your parents multiple times.”

“Yes…”

“Then show me, Spock.”

He stared at me, clearly feeling uncomfortable.

“Spock…” I frowned very much like a human.

Standing, Spock held his hand out to me, “Come with me.”

I, too, stood and took his hand, ready to see what he was going to do.

Very swiftly, Spock began leading me out of the room and through his home. I did not speak and Spock did not either, but I did look at the passing objects around me.

Spock eventually slowed down when we reached an entryway that led to a large and warm looking patio outdoors; the setting sun stretch beautifully across it.

He turned his body toward me and looked down at me. “My mother took my father to this place very often. I still sometimes see them out here in the evenings.”

My eyes lit up and I walked around Spock to step onto the patio. I gazed at the colors from the sun and continued my way to the railing around the patio.

“I can see why this is a special place for your mother and father,” I told Spock when I sense his presence behind me.

Suddenly, I felt Spock’s arms drape over my shoulders and tighten around me.

“Mother would make Father do this,” he explained in my ear.

Letting my emotions run my actions, I leaned back against Spock and placed both of my hands on each of his arms.

“Is it illogical to tell you I enjoy this?”

“It could be argued so,” he paused, “but I do as well.”

We became silent and for several minutes, we watched the sun disappear behind the horizon. Once it was gone, I looked up to stare at the stars, my head falling back against Spock’s shoulder.

“I heard that you enrolled at Starfleet,” I stated, the stars reminding me of my friend.

“Yes and I have been accepted. I will have to leave in a month,” Spock replied, also looking up at the stars.

A deep sadness filled my mind, but I hid it away. “Why did you not get accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy? I know you have the knowledge to go there.”

“I had been accepted, but I declined.”

I noticed the anger coming off of Spock, but I wanted to know more.

“May I ask why?”

He took a very deep breath to calm himself, “They found it remarkable that I did so well even with a disadvantage.”

I pat his arm, knowing they meant his human mother.

“I like that you are not like us, Spock. I do not think you would be who you are today without your human half,” I comforted, smiling up at the stars. “It makes you special.”

Spock, though very unlike him, tightened his arms around me and buried his head in my hair. It was odd to me to see him act so, but I did not deny him.

“Thank you, T’Saralonde,” he said.

Like a human, I giggled, causing Spock to look at me in surprise.

“You are very unlike yourself, my friend,” I stated.

“As are you,” he replied, amusement in his eyes.

“Maybe we should go inside. It is logical to assume that the tension in the air could be causing this.”

“Logical indeed,” Spock replied, taking his arms off my shoulders and backing away from me.

I left the edge, but stood next to Spock as the two of us walked back inside his home.

Suddenly feeling exhausted, I found a seat and rubbed my eyes.

“Is there something wrong?” Spock asked, taking my face in his hands when he kneeled in front of me.

“I feel tired. I do not understand how for I have not exerted myself today.”

“Follow me,” Spock commanded, helping me to my feet. “You will rest.”

I did not protest, so I followed closely behind Spock as he led me to another room in his home.

“Sleep here,” he said as we entered a bedroom.

“Whose room is this?” I questioned as I willingly lay across the bed.

“Mine. I did not think you would mind,” he answered me, watching as I got comfortable in his bed.

Taking a very deep breath and letting it out, I closed my eyes. I felt Spock’s eyes on me which strangely made me feel safe and very soon I was sleeping.

Even as I slept, a burning desire within my entire body grew as the new day began. The burning feeling kept growing to the point it woke me and caused a rush of unfamiliar feelings to fog my logic.

Pon farr had begun.

Without moving from the bed, my thoughts instinctively reminded me of Spock and the most thrilling, yet terrifying feeling exploded within me.

I grabbed my head and tried to control myself, but it did not work. Staring at the night sky reminded me of Spock as did everything in his room.

“This is unbearable,” I groaned, refusing to let my body move out of the bed.

In a very sudden movement, I sat up and stared at the entryway of Spock’s room, sensing he was nearing.

My face greened when I thought his name, but the moment I saw him, I lost the little amount of control I had over all my emotions.

“It woke you,” Spock stated, noticing the storm of emotions in my eyes.

Nodding, I gazed at Spock, studying him in a way a Vulcan would be very displeased by.

“Spock,” I whispered. “I do not like these strange emotions.”

He strode over to my side, “Nor do I, but we both understand why we are feeling this way.”

“Yes,” I nodded, looking away from Spock.

My friend sat on the edge of his bed and took my hand in his. I looked at him in curiosity while he purposely touched his fingertips to mine.

When our fingers touched, our eyes locked and our emotions surged to one another.

Instinctively, the two of us brought our foreheads together and closed our eyes as we became aware of every feeling passing between us.

Only seconds passed before our foreheads disconnected and our lips reconnected instead; emotions ran high. Logic refused to exist and all actions were based solely on our emotions.

When we separated and I found Spock hovering above me, the two of us dumbstruck as to how we ended up that way, I knew that for the both of us that pon farr was going to be the most different experience we would confront.

Spock and I were even more inseparable than we were before pon farr as our final month physically together went by.

The morning my friend was to head to the human planet, Earth, I chose to visit Spock’s home before all of us were to see him off.

“It is so nice to see you!” Amanda, Spock’s mother, greeted me.

“Yes, it is nice to see you as well,” I replied, bowing my head slightly.

“Well, don’t just stand there, T’Saralonde! Come on in!”

I smiled slightly, “Thank you.”

Walking in, I looked around the foyer, feeling as if I was looking at the room for the first time, remembering every detail.

“Spock! T’Saralonde is here!” Amanda called out, scaring me inwardly.

The two of us heard loud shuffling in another room until Spock appeared, straightening his shirt with a tug.

Amanda giggled noticing the excitement in her son’s eyes that I, too, saw.

“Hello, T’Saralonde,” Spock greeted without much emotion as usual.

A corner of my moth turned up as one eyebrow lifted in amused curiosity. “Hello, Spock.”

Amanda sighed in frustration and teasingly shoved me toward Spock. First, with Spock being my mate and second, still not having total control over his emotions, Spock stopped me from crashing into him by grabbing my arms. He instantly began to turn green.

“No need to be so formal in front of me, even with Vulcan customs,” Spock’s mother announced. “We humans are fascinated with love.”

“Mother,” Spock warned in a child-like tone.

“Sorry, Spock. I guess I’ll let you two be alone. Don’t forget we see you off in ten minutes, Spock!” Amanda sang before leaving the foyer.

Before I could ask Spock to let go of my arms, he gave me a very short kiss and let me go.

“Was that logical?” I asked him, the tips of my ears turning green.

“No, but my human logic believed it necessary,” he answered.

I saw the gleam in his eyes and knew he was teasing me in his Vulcan way.

“You are quite the comedian, Mr. Spock.”

Spock raised one eyebrow, “Mr. Spock? That is a pleasing title.”

“I presume you will ask your future crew at Starfleet to call you such?”

“I believe I will.”

I quickly let a small smile out, but went back into my almost blank demeanor.

“Come with me for a moment,” Spock ordered softly, taking my wrist.

“As you wish,” I replied.

Almost showing excitement in his eyes, Spock led me to the room where he had earlier come from and led me over to a desk with a small box on top of it.

“My mother provided me with the materials I needed,” Spock explained as he picked up the box and handed it to me. “She thought you would enjoy it. I thought you would as well.”

Curious, I opened to box to find a bracelet, as the humans called it, with unfamiliar stones on it.

“Mother brought Earth rocks and stones with her when she came to live on Vulcan and she thought using them for your gift would remind you of me,” Spock said, a little shy.

“Your mother is wonderful and you are just the same,” I smiled sweetly. “Thank you, Spock.”

“You are welcome.”

I pulled the bracelet from the box and tried putting it around my wrist, but it took Spock’s help to get it on correctly.

When I felt the bracelet was secure on my arm, I reached up and kissed Spock’s cheek.

“I thank you for being such a wonderful friend, Spock.”

His face greened and he bowed his head, “Again, you are welcome.”

“Spock! T’Saralonde! We’re ready to leave!” Amanda suddenly called out.

“We are coming, Mother,” Spock return called, taking my hand this time and leading me out.

Our touch created a mind connection to one another’s emotions of admiration and joy until Spock broke it once we were in his parent’s sight.

Sarek and I greeted each other before the four of us left the house and took our journey to the hangar bay where the ship to take Spock to Earth waited for him.

In a total of three minutes, we reached the hangar bay and began our farewells.

I politely stood to the side as Spock hugged his mother and spoke to his father quietly.

When he was finished, his parents left us alone, understanding that we needed privacy as a Vulcan ‘couple.’

“One day I will return to Vulcan to visit,” Spock told me. “You will still be on this planet?”

Hiding all emotions, I nodded, “If I am not, I may be close.”

Spock surprisingly did not catch anything strange about my reply, “Either way, I do wish to see you again.”

“You shall.”

Spock lowered his eyes for a second, “May I?”

“Whatever it is, my friend, you need not ask for permission.”

He raised his eyebrow in amusement before taking one step closer to me and placing a soft kiss on my lips. He repeated said action a couple times before giving me one unusually long kiss.

When he pulled away, both of our faces were a faded green and the tips of our ears were beginning to darken as well.

“Take care of my mother,” Spock whispered, touching his fingers to my face softly.

I nodded, “I will as long as I can. You take care of yourself on Earth.”

“I will.”

With one final and short kiss, we separated; he boarding his ship and me joining his family.

The three of us watched his ship start up and slowly leave the hangar bay.

As it lifted higher into the sky, close to leaving the entire planet behind, I gazed at the bracelet around my wrist in wonder of what I did not tell him. But maybe it was best for him that I had not informed him of my own plans.

It did not matter much though because either way, I, too, would be on my way to Starfleet.