Drip.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say that I don’t think this is working out.”

“So… you’re breaking up with me?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

He didn’t deserve the tear that tried to fall down my cheek then, so I held it in. I would stay strong, at least until I was sitting heartbroken and alone in my room. That’s when the dam would break down and my heart would poor uselessly out of my eyes.

I felt like a cigarette butt he that he was just done with, thrown out of the open window of his car. I felt abandoned and useless and lonely. But worst of all I felt used. I was only good for the short few drags that he held me between his fingers. It was a horrible feeling.

“Do you want me to take you home?” He asked nonchalantly. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to know how he did it. How he could break up with me and then be so easy-going, like it didn’t matter.

“No.” I muttered through clenched teeth, my hands balled up into fists at my sides. I couldn’t bare another ten minutes next to him. I’d walk the ten miles of country road back to my house. Anything other than being in a small enclosed space with him for another minute.

“Then what…?” He wore a confused expression when he turned to the road to look at me. The first time he’d turned his brown eyes to look into my grey ones all day. He hadn’t even glanced at me earlier.

“Stop the car.” I muttered turning my face to glare at the handle I wouldn’t be able to use until he stopped the car.

He stopped the car, but as soon as I reached for the handle he clicked the lock. I was stuck.

“Are you upset with me?” He asked.

I clenched my eyes shut tight and set my jaw. Was he honestly that stupid? Did I honestly mean so little to him? Where did that even come from? My head started spinning and I had to hold back from vomiting.

On second though, maybe it would do his Jeep some good.

“Let me out.”

“Not until you answer me.”

I turned my body towards him before opening my eyes and slapping him across the face. He held a shocked expression as I quickly unlocked my door and climbed out. Everything blurred in front of me and I cursed myself. So much for having the tears wait.

Shaking my head and walking quickly down the road I realized how bad of an idea this really was.

The clouds were dark overhead and I could feel the humidity working at frizzing my hair up already. We were on the highway near the turn off to the gravel road that lead to my house and a new car or truck passed every-so-often as I walked the opposite direction. I could hear him starting his car behind me though and I told myself that I’d just have to swallow my pride and take his offer.

I slowed down waiting for him to pull up beside me and beg me to let him give me a ride. I waited a minute. And then another. And then another. And then I realized that he wasn’t coming after me. He wasn’t going to beg me to get into the car; he wasn’t even going to ask.

I clenched my fists and let the tears fall harder for a minute before making the biggest mistake yet. I shoved my right hand into my sweatshirt pocket and stuck the other out into the road, pointing towards my house. I didn’t care what happened after this. I just didn’t care.