Break Apart My Heart

Matt and I talked for another hour or so, just catching up on life in general. He told me about some of his aggravated assault charges, and I told him about almost being arrested the previous night. Eventually I decided to go home and spend some time with Brian, and he offered to take me. I said my goodbyes to Amy, Kim and Gary, and we started walking. He wanted to drive, but I insisted we walk, since it was such a nice night. That and I could use the exercise.

The walk was short, but fun. I attempted at giving him a piggy back ride, and fell to the floor with him on top of me. He helped me up and threw me over his shoulder, carrying me the rest of the way like a rag doll. I didn’t mind all too much; the view was incredible, if you know what I mean.

We finally got to my house and he kicked open the door, bringing us both inside.

“SURPRISE!” A chorus of voices echoed.

Matt put me down, and I looked into the living room. There sat Brian, Jimmy and Zack smoking cigarettes and relaxing. My eyed popped open and my mouth fell ajar.

“GUYS!” I yelled, smiling.

Jimmy stood up first, with Zack close behind him.

Jimmy looked pretty much the same. The slight acne he used to have was gone, his hair was shorter, he was a bit buffer and, taller, if possible. He also had numerous amounts of tattoos.

Zack, though, changed drastically. He had lost ‘baby weight’ and was now slim and lean, with muscles protruding through his tight long sleeved shirt. His face thinned out, and his hair was no longer dyed purple at the top, but completely black. He had gotten a bull ring, along with snakebites, and his eyes shone a bright shade of green. Why had I never noticed those eyes before?

“NIKKI!” Jimmy yelled, engulfing me into a bear hug.
“JIM!” I squealed.
He spun me around nearly a hundred times before placing me back on the ground, both of us stumbling around from dizziness. I tripped, and fell onto someone’s chest. They grabbed my waist to keep me from falling, and I looked up to see those same pair of bright green eyes.

“Sorry, Zack,” I smiled sheepishly.
He chuckled. “My pleasure.”
I stood up, albeit a bit wobbly, and gave him a proper hug.

“You look great.” I stated, looking him over.
“I know.” He smirked. “You’re not looking to bad yourself.”
“I know.” I mimicked, using his cocky tone. We both laughed.

Matt and I pushed through the two of them and took a seat onBrian’s MY couch, with Zack and Jimmy following behind. Zack sat on my right as Matt sat on my left, while Jimmy took a seat next to Brian on the opposite couch.

“So little one, how have you been?” Jimmy asked.
“Good.” I smiled. “But, I’m not that little anymore.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re little compared to me!”
“Okay, compared to you! But everyone’s little compared to you.” I stated.
“Not me.” Matt smirked.
“Me either.” Brian added.
I looked towards Zack.
“Shut up.” He frowned, and I giggled.
“It’s okay, we can be little together!” I cheered.
“You got that right.” Matt shot a smile at Zack, who just flipped him off.
“And how do you know that, Matthew? Have you been peeping at Zack here?” I questioned. I felt bad that they were picking on him.
“No, I just-”
“Then how do you know how big he is?” I cut him off. “For all you know, he might be bigger than you.” I stated. Zack smiled at me in appreciation.
“Oh snap!” Jimmy yelled. “She got you, dude.”
“Whatever.” Matt huffed.
“Oh stop whining, you big baby.” I teased. “You can dish it but you can’t take it? What’s that shit?”
He sulked and mumbled something incoherent, so I kissed his cheek and turned my attention back to the boys.
“You guys want something to drink?” Brian asked.
“Beer!” They all cheered.
“What about you, Nikki?” Bri asked.
“I’ll take a beer.” I smiled.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “And what makes you think I’ll give you one?”
“The fact that you gave me my first one at my 10th birthday party.” I shot back.
“He made me!” Bri stated, pointing an accusing finger at Matt.
Matt held his hands up in defense. “I didn’t know she’d like it!”
Brian smiled and rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll get you a beer.”
“Thanks, bro.” I stated as Brian walked into the kitchen.
“So do you guys smoke?” I asked.
“Yea, we all do.” Zack motioned towards the ashtray full of cigarettes on the counter.
I shook my head. “Not cigarettes, weed.”
The room fell silent for a few moments.
“Hell fucking yea!” Jimmy yelled, breaking the silence.
I giggled. “You got any for me?” I questioned. “You know, a little welcome home present.”
“Uhh … does Brian know?” Zack asked.
I shrugged.
“Does Brian know what?” Bri asked, walking out of the kitchen and handing us our beers.
“Hey Bri, I smoke weed and apparently so do all of you. So, my vote is we get a smoking session going.” I stated rather bluntly.
“Uhh… sure?” He answered a bit uneasy.

Jimmy smirked and whipped a sack of bud out of his back pocket. I smiled, knowing that if Bella and Andy really come to visit, he’ll get along with them just fine.

All of us sat around drinking, and smoking through the sack that Jimmy pulled out. Brian had to make a run to the store and get dutch’s, but once he got back it was a none stop smoke fest. From all the weed, the guys had ridiculous cotton mouth, and went through the majority of the beers. I threw out a few sissy comments, considering I was outlasting all of them, but they were so high they couldn’t think of any good comebacks. By the time 2 A.M. rolled around, Zack had gone upstairs, Brian was asleep on the rocking chair, Matt was passed out on the couch and Jimmy was sprawled across the floor. I laughed silently and made my way outside to smoke a cigarette. I could have smoked inside, but it was a gorgeous night and I wanted to take advantage of the patio set-up that I haven’t seen in years. Turns out, dad installed an in-ground pool and diving board.
Not to shabby, daddy.

I pulled out my cigarette, placing the ends between my teeth to hold it in place while I fish out my lighter. Finally finding it in my back pocket, I lit the cigarette and blew out the smoke. I’m not sure why I never breathe in the first pull, it’s just a habit of mine. I brought the cigarette back to my lips, taking another pull and inhaled the content. The poison filling and swirling around my lungs, releasing the sweet endorphins and calming my body immediately. Exhaling, I watched as the smoke danced around in the winter air, although it’s still warm out. That’s California for ya’. The more pulls I took of my cigarette, the more I realized I was a lot more fucked up than I had previously thought. I guess 17 beers and 9 blunts will do that to you.

“Why are you out here all alone?” I nearly jumped out of my skin as the voice shook me from my thoughts.
“Thinking.” I stated, not bothering to look up.
“About?” He took the seat next to me, and began to swing it back and forth slightly.
I shrugged. “Mostly cigarettes.” He laughed lightly.
“Yea, the pot’ll make you think about weird shit like that.” He stated.
I rolled my eyes. “Duh. I’ve been smoking for years.”
“Sorry.” He chuckled.
“What are you doing up?” I asked. “I thought you fell asleep hours ago.”
“Nah, I was playing video games in Brian’s room.”

I nodded, finally looking up at him. Everything around him was a blur, but his face seemed perfect. His pouty lips, slimmed face, messy black hair and piercing green eyes that bore into mine like mirror images. I couldn’t make much out, as my surroudnings began to go hazy, but I could distinctly make out our faces inching closer together. Our lips touched, and the world went black.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

I woke up the next morning in my bed, with a strong pair of arms wrapped around my waist. I turned around and buried my face into the warmth of the person behind me. Wait, person?

I shot up in my bed, and threw the covers off of myself. I scrunched my face at my attire, noticing I was in my jeans from last night and my bra. Apparently something was going to happen, but we were too drunk to get very far. I drew in a shaky breath and turned my head to see a mop of black hair; Zack’s black hair. I sighed, and laid back down. His arms instinctively wrapped around me, and I giggled, waking him up.

“Mmph.” He mumbled.

I felt his arms tighten around me, and his eyes shot open, as wide as mine were.

“Holy shit.” He whispered.
“Good morning to you, too.” I smirked. “What happened last night?”
“Nothing, I-I swear.” He looked so afraid.
“Zack, you can tell me.” I pushed.
He sighed. “Nothing, really. It was all really blurry, but the last thing I remember is us kissing and coming up here.” He buried his head into my pillow. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey,” I ran my hand through his hair. “It’s not you’re fault. We’re both at blame here. If you’re worried about Bri killing you, we didn’t really do anything.”
“No, but I wanted to.” He replied, eyes boring into mine.
“Well, that makes two of us.” I smirked, rolling on top of him.
“W-what are you doing?”
“Shut up.” I stated, pressing my lips against his.

He kissed back, gripping my hips and pulling me off of him. He rolled on top of me and ground his hips into mine, and boy, was he excited to see me. I nibbled on his snake bites, earning the cutest sigh I’ve ever heard to come out of his lips. His eyes flutter shut as I bucked my hips up, rubbing against his boxer clad privates.

“Hey Co- WOAH!” Someone screamed.

I immediately pushed Zack off of me, accidentally pushing him off the bed as well.

“Zack!” Matt screamed. “Get you’re fucking cloths on and get out.”
Zack stood up and tossed his shirt back on.
“No, Zack, stop. You don’t have to listen to him, he’s not my brother.” I glared at Matt.
He smirked. “No, you’re right. I’m not. But If you want, he’s just downstairs, so I can go grab him for you.”
“No!” Zack interjected. “It’s fine, I’ll leave.” Zack put his last shoe on.
“But-”
Zack cut me off. “Nikki, its fine; I’ll call you later?”
I smiled and nodded at him as he walked out past Matt. I heard the door shut a few moments later.

I got up and stood in front of Matt.
“You had no right to kick him out.” I stated.
“I had every right! You’re 17 years old.”
“Yea? You were doing the same shit at my age so don’t even pull that bullshit.” I yelled back.
“Colie, I, I just don’t want him to hurt you. Zack goes through a lot of girls.” He reasoned.
I rolled my eyes. “I really don’t give a fuck.”

I walked over to my dresser and took out a new pair of jeans and a T-shirt, stripping of the jeans from the night before. I looked towards Matt, who was staring at me with his mouth slightly open.

“What?” I snapped. “Never seen a girl get changed before?”

He didn’t answer. I rolled my eyes and pulled the new jeans over my hips, zippering them. I would have buttoned them up as well, but in one swift motion, Matt had me pinned against my wall with my arms over my head. His lips connected with mine, and he grabbed my thighs, pulling my legs up to wrap around his torso. My hands went to his hair as his tongue penetrated my lips.

“I-I’m sorry.” He stuttered, dropping my legs back to the ground and stepping away slowly. “I mean, it’s just … I should go.”

He walked out of my room and down the stairs, and I heard the front door slam shut. I was so confused. Do I still have feelings for him? It’s been 7, almost 8 years since I’ve left, could I still like him? What about Valary? What about Zack? With all the thoughts flooding my head, I had to talk to someone. I’d usually go to Bella, but I need someone to be here in person, and I knew just the person.

Amy.